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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Dilemma on this weird Tinder situation

482 replies

Tyrianstoe · 13/01/2018 17:34

Had to nickname change as I'm a regular and to be fair I'm embarrassed. Split up with my ex 2 weeks ago (his fault, broke my trust) and in a fit of anger and suspicion set up a Tinder account on Thursday night to see if he's on there as that's where we met. Anyway, was swiping through and I saw this lovely looking guy who had a very funny profile that mentioned a very obscure band that I love so swiped guiltily right. Don't know why I feel bad because my ex is a lying arsehole, but I'm aware it's too soon. This guy messaged me! So I said 'I like that band loads, nobody has heard of them' and we swapped messages. Then I thought I'm being a bit of a dick here so I deleted my Tinder but said if he wanted to message me off there he could and gave him my number. Thinking he wouldn't.

He found me on WhatsApp. He was telling me about his little boy who is going for an assessment for a disability, I write the assessments as a job so he was asking me what to expect. Then, this is where it gets weird...he asks me where I come from. Told him. He's from the same town. Not too weird. So asks where I live now, I live in another town not far away. He moved to my town 5 days ago. This morning he mentioned he lived opposite an emergency services station. So do I. He told me the name of his street. My house looks onto that street! I can see his house from mine.

So I do t know whether this is just too bizarre and I stop messaging him but...I don't want to! He seems sound. He doesn't use any words on my banned list, is retraining to do a job I'd love to do, likes the same music, doesn't put xxx on anything, doesn't use lol and doesn't call me Hun/babe Grin I'm mad aren't I? This has got big fat rebound all over it. But my interest is piqued. Slap me with a wet fish!

OP posts:
fabulousfrumpyfeet · 18/01/2018 09:31

I think this thread should be renamed 'ginger love in the snow' and moved to classics!

friskybivalves · 18/01/2018 09:46

Damian Lewis from Homeland.

As you were, OP. Let’s hope you remain snowed in a while longer Wink

TheSassyAssassin · 18/01/2018 10:15

Well well well....beans were well and truly spilt then weren't they? Grin

midnightmisssuki · 18/01/2018 10:22

i am late for my meeting because i was reading this... well worth it!! Smile

Tyrianstoe · 18/01/2018 10:32

I am not used to this. He plays absolutely zero mind games.

He just sent me a message saying let's firm up plans for tomorrow Smile

OP posts:
Mirrormirrorotw · 18/01/2018 10:36

Oh, yes!!!!!! Excellent. No bloody games.

Another vote for Sam Heughan to play him.

It's so nice to see something 'working out'.

DancesWithOtters · 18/01/2018 11:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Iooselipssinkships · 18/01/2018 11:29

Been with my rebound after being messed about by someone for nearly 10 years now.
I think the sober daytime sex is telling too! Amazing. Especially if you've usually been drunk. I'm happy for you OP and from what you've been saying he seems like a good guy. I hope it all works out whatever way you want it to go. When there's no mind games or second guessing it's like a breath of fresh air isn't it?!

And sod the ex who lied to you, he's done you a favour love. (Is love the same as hun? I'm from Yorkshire!)

WellThisIsShit · 18/01/2018 11:43

Yay! He sounds like a nice normal straight talking human being. Yay, yay and thrice yay!

Well done you on ‘reassuring him’ on the drunken gonsjag around thing.

Daylight sober sex is SO reassuring ne c’est pas?
Wink

Roussette · 18/01/2018 12:06

I've been following this thread and first post to say WAAAAHAAAY to Tyrian !

I like the no mind games men, they are soooo worth knowing. My DH is a 'what you see is what you get' kind of guy, a simple sort of creature Grin... we've been married over 30 years!

SmashyCup · 18/01/2018 12:29

Ahhhhh OP this thread has really cheered up my week. A happy ending. Grin

fabulousfrumpyfeet · 18/01/2018 12:32

Yeah no game playing is a good sign. My DH was like that, and it's so refreshing.

Liskee · 18/01/2018 13:06

This is fabulous. A series of coincidences led to me meeting my DH. Five years, 2 kids and a house later and I'm still giddy with love about him. Enjoy the ride whether it ends up in aisle walking or not!!

OhCalamity · 18/01/2018 13:11

We had a no game-playing rule in the beginning too. Stood us in good stead. Games are for teens.

goodelfallover · 18/01/2018 14:20

Following since day one, so excited for you! I'm trying to imagine James Norton with a beard....Wink

Mummalovex · 18/01/2018 14:30

This is the best! So happy for you OP! Reading this with a smile from ear to ear! It's so lovely to read such a lovely thread!

Sounds as though everyone is happy for you my love Thanks

OverTheParapet · 18/01/2018 14:34

You Dirty Gertie! I LOVE IT! So what are your plans for the next date?

Notadrill · 18/01/2018 14:38

Just catching up on this - and YAY! It's great when you take the plunge, do something brave and things work out. Enjoy! He sounds lovely

luckiestgirl · 18/01/2018 15:15

I can’t believe you slept with him and didn’t tell us! That is NOT allowed!

MrsTerryPratchett · 18/01/2018 15:22

Damien Lewis already got the job so Outlander can go back to Scotland! Blonder hair, no wanky side parting!

Sober daytime sex is a very good sign (it's not reminding me of anything at all no no no). And even if it doesn't work out and he's a lovely rebound, a lovely rebound can rewrite habits.

Dilemma on this weird Tinder situation
Mummalovex · 18/01/2018 17:02

@MrsTerryPratchett AMEN! 🙏🏻

Guardsman18 · 18/01/2018 17:22

How very dare you have a shag without telling us!

Cinema tomorrow? Yeah ok ..............

TheSassyAssassin · 18/01/2018 18:11

Netflix n chill ain't it! Grin

Tyrianstoe · 18/01/2018 19:03

Ha! He did just message and say if it snows tomorrow and cinema is off he can offer Netflix and a woodburner

OP posts:
TheSassyAssassin · 18/01/2018 19:14

Hmmm....great minds! Grin You currently doing a snow dance then?

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