Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Dilemma on this weird Tinder situation

482 replies

Tyrianstoe · 13/01/2018 17:34

Had to nickname change as I'm a regular and to be fair I'm embarrassed. Split up with my ex 2 weeks ago (his fault, broke my trust) and in a fit of anger and suspicion set up a Tinder account on Thursday night to see if he's on there as that's where we met. Anyway, was swiping through and I saw this lovely looking guy who had a very funny profile that mentioned a very obscure band that I love so swiped guiltily right. Don't know why I feel bad because my ex is a lying arsehole, but I'm aware it's too soon. This guy messaged me! So I said 'I like that band loads, nobody has heard of them' and we swapped messages. Then I thought I'm being a bit of a dick here so I deleted my Tinder but said if he wanted to message me off there he could and gave him my number. Thinking he wouldn't.

He found me on WhatsApp. He was telling me about his little boy who is going for an assessment for a disability, I write the assessments as a job so he was asking me what to expect. Then, this is where it gets weird...he asks me where I come from. Told him. He's from the same town. Not too weird. So asks where I live now, I live in another town not far away. He moved to my town 5 days ago. This morning he mentioned he lived opposite an emergency services station. So do I. He told me the name of his street. My house looks onto that street! I can see his house from mine.

So I do t know whether this is just too bizarre and I stop messaging him but...I don't want to! He seems sound. He doesn't use any words on my banned list, is retraining to do a job I'd love to do, likes the same music, doesn't put xxx on anything, doesn't use lol and doesn't call me Hun/babe Grin I'm mad aren't I? This has got big fat rebound all over it. But my interest is piqued. Slap me with a wet fish!

OP posts:
Tyrianstoe · 13/01/2018 17:59

He will probably see me unloading my DC's stressed and carting around my post Christmas Brie arse and decide I'm not for him anyway. If anything it's a nice distraction from being pissed off with my ex anyway.

OP posts:
Poppiesway1 · 13/01/2018 18:04

I actually talked to a man for a little while on PoF. I then discovered I lived 4 doors down from him when he talked about his local! Had never seen him before. We fizzled out of talking but was a little weird. We’re both still in the same houses !

Onlymeeeeee · 13/01/2018 18:05

You've been very honest with each other, if he's talking about intro to doctors surgery I'm making a snap judgement that he's sensible, why not meet for coffee as neighbours?

Tyrianstoe · 13/01/2018 18:07

poppies do you ever bump into him?

OP posts:
Starlight2345 · 13/01/2018 18:13

There is a bit of me to close for comfort . A bit of me still suspicious of ex despite you saying it’s not him . However imagine if it is the one . You could become friends , maybe more . The 2 weeks is a red herring you are ready when you are ready . Good luck

MsJuniper · 13/01/2018 18:17

What are the words on your banned list?

Trialsmum · 13/01/2018 18:26

I’d also suggest meeting up as ‘friends’ and seeing where it goes. It could be something amazing if you give it chance! If he’s a decent guy, he won’t mind waiting for you.

fabulousfrumpyfeet · 13/01/2018 18:36

I knew someone else who met someone on online dating (pre-tinder, not sure what site), turns out he lived 2 roads away, they're married with 2 kids now.
I'd say meet up for a coffee but I'm an incurable romantic!

Tyrianstoe · 13/01/2018 18:46

My banned words list:
Lol
Little man
Babe
My princess
Hubby
This one (when talking about someone...use their name!)

And referring to an inanimate object as 'cheeky' as in a 'cheeky pint'.

I wish I could deal with these but O really cant!

OP posts:
Tyrianstoe · 13/01/2018 18:49

If it is my ex I take my hat off to him. He has managed to come up with a 5 year Facebook account, an ex, a child and loads of pictures of them together...

OP posts:
MushroomSoup · 13/01/2018 18:50

I also married my rebound man - 15 years ago!

Reflexella · 13/01/2018 18:54

If it helps- I went on a Tinder date with a guy that lives in the next road 6 months ago. He wasn’t my type so I didn’t pursue but I’ve only bumped into him once since so not that awkward.

Tyrianstoe · 13/01/2018 18:56

oh god, I'm listening to all you romantics. I need my cynicism! It's very familiar and comforting Grin

(Oh, not keen on the word chat either Blush)

OP posts:
Reflexella · 13/01/2018 18:56

Ps go for it!

Also your restrictive list is quite short. I don’t date anyone who wears any sort of neon for work 😂

Tyrianstoe · 13/01/2018 18:58

reflex The voice of reason. I need to put this in perspective. I feel something like naivety hope because I'm so pissed off with ex. I know this is just my cognition going 'focus on this nice bit of fluff because you've been fed up lately'.

OP posts:
peppapig17 · 13/01/2018 19:00

Doooooo it OP 👍

DontDIY · 13/01/2018 19:10

Your banned list makes me want to date you Grin

Tyrianstoe · 13/01/2018 19:26

Thank DIY I'm a right pain in the arse though Grin it only takes one slight word and I'm out of there!

Oh my fucking Jesus on a goat. He just sent me a message saying;

'Maybe we should go for a beer, to stop it being weird.'

Shock Grin Shock

What shall I reply? It needs to be witty. Hmm...

OP posts:
Tyrianstoe · 13/01/2018 19:29

Ah fuck it. I'm going to say yes. He's a ginger. I'm a ginger. We can always bond over that Grin

OP posts:
RhubarbTea · 13/01/2018 19:32

Loving this thread Grin Meeeeet hiiimm. Then report back.

KateGrey · 13/01/2018 19:33

Go for it! Term it as a friendly coffee and see if it develops. No pressure. If it’s not a romance thing it could be a friend thing.

Psychobabble123 · 13/01/2018 19:36

Oh god yes meet him!!! Do it tonight!! 😂😂 you have nothing to lose OP, don't put any pressure on yourself or him, just go along with an open mind and see how it goes Smile

TheSassyAssassin · 13/01/2018 19:37

Def go for it. Life too short and all that jazz. And yes could be a friend. Bumped into an OLD date in my local Waitrose the other day. Was embarrassing but not end of the world!

Tyrianstoe · 13/01/2018 19:37

I'm going to reply;

'It started off weird and got weirder so a beer sounds good. We could observe how weird xxxx is in our local?'

Xxxx is our town. It's a bit Royston Vasey...they even have a special name for people who have moved in here Grin

OP posts:
uncoolnn · 13/01/2018 19:38

Do it!! If you get on well, even if there's no spark in person, you could make a good friend Grin