NC Dignity Club Part 3 - Stronger Every Day

[SweetBerries]

Here we go ladies. The place we come to do the 4 c’s - confess, console, comfort and consolidate. Every one of us is on a journey here but at the end of it, we become stronger better individuals who can be better prepared for future relationships - friends and romantically.

I’m so proud of you all xx

Day 23 almost complete. The days start to pass by once they get going.
I’m starting to think about things more too. When do I feel better, before nc when I would be checking for messages, looking for validation and receiving crumbs. Often had difficult sleeping and could get tearful. Or now, where I do still think about him, but the raw emotion has subsided. Nc on balance is definitely a better place to be.
I’m starting to think I was suffering from limerance...
My nc is back from abroad next weekend. Maybe only from then can I really take steps forward and decide what to do if he contacts. I hope I can ignore.

I love this thread because so often I read messages which I can relate to! Snap Rhubarb! I too would have difficulty sleeping and would be way too emotional waiting for messages from him. On tenterhooks most of the time.

Nk he lives and works at a place I'm going for a course in a couple of weeks. I don't know whether he'll go away, hide in his accommodation, treat me like any other random person, or actually talk to me... And it's killing me.

On top of which, he's been assigned as my tutor for a distance course I'm doing, so every piece of work I do, I'm constantly aware that I'm addressing him. I haven't had the feedback from my first module yet, so I don't know how well he'll have handled it.

Cariad, that sounds awful.

It sucks in a lot of ways... There has to be a reason for it though... There has to...

😔

Oh seriously?!!!

So the height of excitement on my Saturday night is tea at my Nana's with my parents... Then come home to find there's a flipping live wedding on the TV and in to of that they are playing my favourite piece of music during the ceremony...

I just hate my life right now.

And I've got a friend constantly messaging me about her amazing date with her new boyfriend... I'm incredibly pleased for her of course, but it's killing me tonight.

So lonely tonight. First day I've not had plans with people since newnyears. Thought it would be about self care and working towards goals and helping me see that being alone can be awesome - guess I'm not ready. And I messaged again. Hopefully I wake up with some new found strength tomorrow. For now I'm going to find a movie that will distract me that has absolutely NO love in it...

Caria that's hard - I hate that feeling of being happy for someone but also really wanting what they have...

Hugs appela xxx

Thought this was good

Hi all, just checking in. gettingthere & rhubarb same here with needing to know plans. It was always considered needy and odd to want to know and make plans like I was authoritarian but I think it's just respect to know when you're going to see someone so you can do other things if not together. I don't think that was Me, he lived his whole life on the hoof day by day and it meant I was always on tenterhooks and waiting for crumbs.

Good news, today I spent a lovely day with a friend and only talked about him for 15 minutes in the whole day so I wasn't a bore! Hooray. I can't quite take a star for non sm looking but it was significantly reduced so I give myself a mini star for that!

Big rewards to those who are getting there and also big rewards to those that are not getting there yet but thinking about it as that in itself deserves reward in my book!

I made it through the day!
I was fortunate enough to have a lovely dinner laid on for me at a good female friends house.
Someone who doesn't value me for sex and adoration/submission but who talks to me about politics, music, kids, life...
Hurrah!
Tomorrow is day 7 :)

Well done Basseting a nice and well deserved evening for you. Cheers to many more like that

I'm back zero.

He caught me today as I was leaving after acupuncture. He actually turned up when I was having it but the acupuncturist sent him packing. It sort of ruined the relaxation part of it, but then he obviously waited as he was coming towards me when I left to go to the garage to collect my car. We spoke, we argued, we cried, I made a scene because he was frightening me, he told me I still had stuff at his, i drove away, he followed me, I went back to get my stuff, we talked, he wouldn't let me leave.

I feel sort of cleansed, but given I had a breakdown at work after seeing him on Thursday, I don't know when this will hit me. I've now had a bit too much wine and don't know how I feel about the whole thing.

Oh zoo you poor thing. What a stressful day. What are you going to Do? This sounds like it needs to come to an end and stop as the stress it is causing you is really bad. Can you make him collect his stuff and call an end to It?

I've just typed out a really long email to him. I'm hoping that I'll be strong enough not to send it, and that just writing it will be cathartic enough... But I don't know.

@Itsalottery I don't know what I can do. I think it's as much at an end as it can be. He's promised not to call and email (too much) as I said I'd have to change my number if he did. He's still hoping I'll see sense but I keep telling him that's not going to happen. I think all the stuff I care about is now out of his house. The rest isn't worth fighting about.

Zoo thats actually quite scary and bordering on harrassment. Take care of yourself.
Everyone else - hope you are all well!
Cariad yeah thats what my counsellor said to do - can be very theraputic. Hope it helps you.

user and oldbook Yep just a jump over the ocean! I’ve spent all day moaning about the heat (because it is friggin ridiculous!) but I know I’ll moan about the cold as soon as I get there

37 degrees here today oldbook! With I guess 10000% humidity. I usually love the heat but have struggled today. Even sunburnt with SPF 50 on.
I think it’s meant to be one of the hottest summers ever. But it’s been snowing in Tassie?!

Sorry, my British side comes out when there’s weather talk

No we don't work together thankfully, although his office is only about a mile away from mine. It was pretty scary but unless he camps outside my office (which seems a bit too desperate, even for him) I shouldn't have any reason to bump into him. I hope...

Morning everyone. I think I'm resetting my click to day 1 today, had a bit of chat yesterday all fairly harmless but I don't want to get drawn in again.

So here goes, day 1!