NC Dignity Club Part 3 - Stronger Every Day

[SweetBerries]

Here we go ladies. The place we come to do the 4 c’s - confess, console, comfort and consolidate. Every one of us is on a journey here but at the end of it, we become stronger better individuals who can be better prepared for future relationships - friends and romantically.

I’m so proud of you all xx

Happy birthdaybassetting! The start of a fresh new year for you. May it bring you strength,joy and happiness.

Did somebody mention a trip to California? starts packing suitcase

Morning nk day 14 for me. A record so that's good. I've been reading the thread on commitment issues and that has helped a bit with thinking it's him not Me! Although I know I need to work on myself too.

belonger that was me. See you at the airport. I'll be the one in the pink fedora and lime green leggings.

Happy birthday @Basseting !

California??? Can I come? I'm wondering whether time out / being signed off work for a bit would help but I'm not convinced I wouldn't just be hiding from my problems and not dealing with them.

Happy birthday @Bassetting! Hope you have a lovely day.

Thank you itsa

Well done NO Belonger and good luck everyone

• NK

Happy birthday Bassetting have a great day 😙
I'm with you Itsa BelongerI'm coming too
anything to get away from grey sky

oh, WOW!!!

Itsa, NK, gettingthere, OldBook, Zoo, anxious

THANK YOU!!

I have woken up okay ish. I took the kids for a mini break.
ExH along (sep rooms!!! though and no chance of reconciliation)
He brought me a cup of tea in my room when my alarm went.
Tried to kiss me but I said NO.
Now he is all sulky / sad.
Aaargh. I've been really clear.
Wouldn't life be easy if the people you wanted wanted you and vice versa?
But thank you for my wishes, (no one here has said anything yet. kids still asleep and need to be brekkie and out for cleaner by 10am)

OH oh oh....

He just texted: 'Happy Birthday' (then his initial)

Do I say: 'What no cake emoji??? :)'

or: #thanks' or: nothing?????

I have a particular ringtone for his msgs.
I have LONGED to hear it. I have not opened it (it pings twice if you do that) just so I can hear it again.
I have a LONG way to go, don't I?

Happy Birthday Basseting

In regards to SM, my guy is always the first to look at whatever I put up. It’s always wihIn minutes of me posting it. My heart tells me it’s a sign he’s still into me and my head tells me to remember he is able to message and hasn’t..

On the plus side, the need to keep looking at his SM is dying down a little. I can actually stop myself from doing it so much now. Hopefully I can get it down to once a day and then zero.

Yay for new records lottery!

I would ignore his message if I were you basseting, but that's just me. I think if you reply you'll then just spend the day waiting for his reply to that, whereas if you don't reply he may well send you another message (he sounds the type to perk up if you act out of character) but you'll feel more in control.

So sorry your ExH isn't respecting your boundaries by trying to kiss you.

Oh and basseting I would probably only reply ‘Thanks’ and then let him initiate conversation.

Itsa am loving the outfit!

Oh I KNOW it will be a '1 off' and wont provoke further convo so I am prob best to ignore?

Don't reply Basseting. He treats you like dirt and doesn't deserve anymore of your time.

NK, I love your message to bassetting. Absolutely true. bassetting, listen to that wise woman!

I hate to be such a massive swot, but I've just deleted another message from my NC

It's so weird, so very different to how I've been in the past, but I actually thought 'oh please go away' when his message popped up. For months and months I have CRAVED messages from him, attention, any sign that he wanted to see me. After 3 weeks of NC I feel so different. 'Go away and let me get on with healing' is my main feeling now.

Happy birthday Bass!!!

So I've woken up on our second weekend apart (I don't work Fridays) and I am fine. Not hugely interested in seeing him tomorrow, think it'll just make things harder when I've not seen him for three weeks except nye but I think he probably just wants to give me my stuff back. I feel strong today - sad of course, but I know it isn't right and that seems to be impacting my emotions and keeping me calm. I feel sooooo mentally healthy I didn't even know I had it in me!! I've deleted Instagram and am staying away from Facebook. Keep wondering if he's hidden the photos of us but I wouldn't know because I posted them so would still be able to see them. But that is literally so inconsequential that I'm not going to even try to find out.

What's everyone doing this weekend?

Whoop appella, you sound amazing! Am so pleased you feel OK, the sadness is natural and important but how fab that you're not consumed by him. Do you need to see him can he drop your stuff with a mutual friend or something?

Whatever, congrats on staying so strong through a tough experience

So much success here today!

Belonger you are my hero!

I'm with NK, that bloke doesn't deserve a scrap of your energy and emotion Basseting (but I'm glad you got the satisfaction of receiving a HB message). Don't answer is my advice.

appella, you are a

I'm in awe and admiration for you all. I've been feeling pretty depressed over the past few days. My NC wasn't even someone I had a physical relationship with and the EA (which we both never fully, really admitted to each other as happening) drifted away a few years ago, replaced by what we always said was 'just' friendship based on how impossible it was for us to both pursue our feelings for each other. We had been texting each other just about every day for a few years...meaningless stuff but the comfort of that connection was reassuring and strange as it sounds, being in contact with him by text like that almost every day made me feel less of that yearning of attraction for him, but comfort in the friendship. I feel that I've suddenly lost a friend and I suppose that's what hurts so much. The strange thing is he still follows me on certain SM platforms and gives things the thumbs up (even up to yesterday) so it's not like he's totally dropped me. I hate this stuff!

...and happy birthday Basseting!