NC Dignity Club Part 3 - Stronger Every Day

[SweetBerries]

Here we go ladies. The place we come to do the 4 c’s - confess, console, comfort and consolidate. Every one of us is on a journey here but at the end of it, we become stronger better individuals who can be better prepared for future relationships - friends and romantically.

I’m so proud of you all xx

Sorry but the magazine subscription is his issue now. If he wants to pretend it's from him then let him sort it. Surely him buying 2 magazines won't set him back too much

He doesn't deserve you App. Honestly we've all gone out and gotten drunk and done something we've regretted. He acted really badly and you need to hold on to his bad behaviour.

I think I know he doesn't care enough, and that'll keep me away from him, it's just not very nice!! Haha

for everyone for making it another day xx

sweets it’s not your issue. You are trying to give yourself a ‘legitimate’ reason to contact him. Don’t do it. It’s no big deal.
Don’t let his life concern you anymore.

Appella keep going

How do you ladies not get drawn into listening to nc life issues? How do you convince yourself that you shouldn’t lend them the ear of support when you’ve always done that for them. How do you stop feeling guilty about that?

Could I join and share my experiences each day with you ladies please? I have not yet gone NC. We only broke things off last night.

We’ve been together 2 years and I find myself giving more each time we break up (this is a cycle) and getting less in return. It is running me into the ground. My self esteem and self love is shot and I have to break this cycle. I still love him, but I do question whether it’s the loss of him that hurts me so much or the loss of the future I envisaged.

On days like today, I feel pretty down trodden and it would be great to have the support of going no contact from you ladies who are going through the same. This time, I need to stick with it. I do work with him, so I will maintain my professional relationship as much as I have to. But no contact for me means, no friendly chit chat. No talking or sharing beyond our work in the office and strictly NC outside of work.

X

Got home tonight and mine has posted my keys through the door, no note or anything. Not sure if he’s a mile down the road at his dads or if he’s gone back ready to be redeployed again and I find I actually don’t care, I’m not even texting him to acknowledge the keys!

Sweets please don’t post the magazines!

Ice cream your in the exact same position as me! We haven’t even officially broke things off yet but we don’t need to the routine is so familiar, stay strong .

NoBloodyMore, I’m glad we both found this thread, we can support one another 😊. It’s completely toxic isn’t it? I think sometimes even saying ‘we’re over and going NC’ to him is pointless, best have the resolve now and do it. stay strong x

Sweet
Absolutely not your issue anymore
Not sure why you'd even buy Christmas presents for children you never met? ( speaking from my experience)- my 1 year NC guy has 3 children,2 from first marriage and 1 from second. I met youngest quite few times but never met eldest,although they knew about daddy's new gf.I did give them all Christmas presents, albeit not expensive but still. He hasn't thought of the same for my boys. I was way OFF with someone who broke up with me just a week after Christmas. He had a birthday present and card too expensive gift
Erm I had nothing for my birthday,not sure even if he remembered when it is.
This year he had a birthday card in the post when he blocked me. Not even thank you for the card..
Sweet has he given your child Christmas presents?

OFF -OTT

@Teens - I asked him if I’d meet them before Christmas and he said yes, so when I was buying presents for people I got them both something, same as I did for him. He had bought my son little gifts before. Then he dumped me obviously.

The presents for the kids were personalised so I couldn’t return them, so I just gave them to him and said that I wanted them to be happy. I hope that makes more sense now.

Glad it's not just me OldBook

But, in contradiction with the above, I am listening to my sixth sense more these days as it has very often been spot on.

@Rhubarbgin - No you’re right, I think I probably am. I guess they will get them when they get them. If he’s concerned with where they are then I guess he’ll be in touch and I’ll tell him but that would be disgusting of him, really. @NoBloodyMore - I won’t :)

@Oldbook - I think I should just leave it - as above. It’s £10+ I could spend on myself or my son. He has a new GF, let her buy them if he’s that desperate.

@Rhubarbginn - I think the way I stopped myself getting drawn in initially was to seem disinterested. I felt guilty but I knew what he had done to me and I knew the same levels of concern were never shown by him towards me. I started to put up a wall. Then of course I stopped initiating contact and eventually ignored his messages entirely. It’s something to be done in phases, I think. They may think we don’t care but realistically these are the feelings we have lived with for some time. X

Sweet
The point is present is from you but he's going to take all credit for it. It's messed up don't you think?
Don't buy any magazines, just get the child what you already got and forget about the whole thing.
Think about presents for your own little darling!

@Teens - I think that’s why to not bother. They’ve already got the things that I bought. Anything further would be ridiculous. I still have his presents but intend to either sell them or donate them somewhere. He had told me that he wanted to give me mine in person before new year but obviously the last thing I wanted was to see him so I said we would sort it and then just never mentioned it again.

I think all this uncertainty kicked off today because I ordered a book that I was going to borrow from him to read and it arrived this morning. Obviously it’s goibg to remind me of him and my first thought was to text him and say ‘look what I got, I’ll let you know what I think’. But all that would get me would be some protracted, unwanted discussion where I pretend to be his friend and he’s overwhelmingly happy about everything in his life without me in it. So no, no magazines, no texts, nothing. I owe myself more respect than this.