Just discovered OH is with someone else

[Fosterdog123]

Been together 12 years. Last 2 years have been tough - last 12 months particularly so but we were limping on. My gut instinct made me go digging. He is with a 20-something beautiful young woman. He's a walking fucking cliche. My knees are like jelly and I feel sick to the pit of my stomach. I want nothing more to do with him but I feel like I've been dropped into a surreal dream/nightmare. I have lost so much recently and this is the final blow.

He most definitely has feet of clay. These types of men always do.

What does feet of clay mean?

It's a flaw in someone who seemed perfect.

Ahhhh thanks.

You're welcome Aren't we polite?

He knows he's flawed. He needs to bolster his ego with this young women. But he secretly knows she's only with him because he's rich / powerful. And that will fuel his insecurities even further. He's on a hiding to nothing.

While the OP sits pretty with her dignity in tact.

When does he get back OP? I think he'll expect to just pick up with you then. Be prepared. He doesn't know how much you know. And his type will have no compunction in lying and minimising if he thinks you'll swallow it

He's a walking cliche. Embarrassing so. Do not text him. Maintain your dignity and grace. You can hold your head high, Lady.

He's back in the next couple of days. No way will he come round. I'd stake my house on it. He knows how I feel about privacy/boundaries etc (I had an issue with a stalker ex-colleague who was infatuated with me threatening to come round to my house a couple of months ago and I freaked out, police involved etc and so he knows my views on invading someone's space uninvited). I don't expect to hear from him again. He's got a lot of pride and is equally as resolute.

Oh am in awe of your dignified composure Foster. Think you are absolutely handling this perfectly, I think he was trying to provoke a response from you- your silence must be driving him crazy! Hope you are doing ok in the circs and taking good care of yourself .

Thanks mammy. I'm doing great. I can't believe how great actually. I have no idea how I'm not falling apart but remarkably, I'm not.

Very obviously his loss.You are amazingxxx

@Fosterdog123

Good for you! Onwards and upwards!

Have got the rage tonight. Am so angry that after 12 years, he simply walks away with a, wish you all the best. No sorry, no explanation, no nothing. Not that I want any of those but still....Fucking jerk. All the fucking best. I HATE HIM 😡😡😡😡😡

You deserved a goodbye and an explanation but the reason he hasn't given it to you is because he isn't going to enjoy a conversation where he says 'loooook, I'm kind of selfish and a huge coward to boot, so i just like, publicly humiliated you on fb and let you figure out what I was too cowardly to say. Cos after 12 years I can't even be bothered with one awkward difficult conversation!''

Yep, fair summary there. Bastard.

That won’t be the last you hear from him. He’ll be in touch again. But don’t give him the satisfaction of contacting him wanting answers

He is a snake. Oh, that is doing snakes a diservice! What a terrible way for him to treat you. You deserve far better.

He will make contact. Meanwhile shall I make a virtual voodoo doll of said bastard? Glad you are angry!!!

I absolutely won't be contacting him. I haven't a single thing to say to him.

I guess angry is just part of the grief cycle. Voodoo doll would be great. Let's think where to stick the first pin.....

And I won't hear from him again. Of that I'm certain. Not after I've ignored all contact. He could win an Olympic gold medal in stubbornness and pride.

Foster that’s what I thought - you must have hit some sort of stage in a grief cycle or something along those lines. Hang in there, you are doing so well. Make sure you busy yourself with things (work, friends or whatever you can think of). Occupy your mind with other things. Mine was work when I went through it - I threw myself into work and it was a massive help x

You're doing great.

Oh Foster the more I hear the more I want to plan sweet revenge! I love the way you write - are you an author? Please can you write how this dickwad is ripped apart with jealousy when he sees gorgeous you winning an award and accompanied by David Gandy ... His business begins to fail, he ups his drinking, young girlfriend is horrified by his drinkers nose and paunch and dumps him ( that's just a rough outline 😳) hugs to you with the power of sisterly solidarity firmly behind you

So you don’t live together. Just boyfriend etc for TWELVE YEARS?

I've always thought David Gandy had a touch of the Dean Gaffnies about him!