Just discovered OH is with someone else

[Fosterdog123]

Been together 12 years. Last 2 years have been tough - last 12 months particularly so but we were limping on. My gut instinct made me go digging. He is with a 20-something beautiful young woman. He's a walking fucking cliche. My knees are like jelly and I feel sick to the pit of my stomach. I want nothing more to do with him but I feel like I've been dropped into a surreal dream/nightmare. I have lost so much recently and this is the final blow.

I'm impressed by your pragmatism, although hurt, I agree that silence is golden

his Text response.. proves he NEEDS it to be YOU ending this relationship.. so he walks away scot free .. no cheating.. he can then tell everyone..he simply met someone else.. after you finished with him...

he is fucking Disgusting.. do NOT send him a Best Wishes Text.. remind him what he is.. A FILTHY RANCID CHEAT... then close the door

Agree with you Gemini69

He's wanting you to end it

He'll get nothing from me. I won't be responding at all. I'm not even a bit tempted now.

He will suffer if she doesn’t respond. OP is being very classy and dignified in my opinion by not responding. It’s also her only way of having some control over the situation. Also she probably could do without hearing whatever he has to say. Already he has called her stubborn - he will start validating his actions if she responds with anger etc

Good for you OP

I can't tell you how much I admire you OP. You're remaining calm, dignified and incredibly brave. Keep doing what you're doing. Steer clear of contact, SM or any kind of stalking, which you are! I really hope you can find peace. Wishing you all the best

You talk about him in your posts as being handsome, incredibly wealthy, charismatic, like he could have his pick of women, and he was with you for 12 years so you must be pretty amazing too, it doesn't mean you're not anymore it's just means he's a nob who's going through a mid life crisis and the majority of the time they come crashing down to earth once they've realised what they've lost.
You deserve so much better and you will get it one day soon hopefully.

You are a strong and inspiring woman OP. He on the other hand is a morally bankrupt prat. All the best for moving forward.

I don’t think he knows you know. I think he’s an arrogant prick who thinks he’s cleverer than you by far

He's probably shitting himself that ow will want to move in with him.
If he finishes it with you.
She'll not stick around to nurse an old grandad, the gap will soon be apparent.
I am totally in awe of you OP, and agre that ignoring him is the way to go as it's right for your situation.
You'll be fine, he will be a washed up alcoholic with nobody.
No amount of money can compensate for that.

I would send him one of the photos of them together through the post. No note with it, just the picture. Then that might shock him into thinking oh shit, she knows and I can't even deny it or tell her she's paranoid.

Then if he tries to contact you with an explanation, ignore him. But at least he'll then definitely know that you know and he'll look like the prick!

Bit - there is an outside chance that you're right but my last text to him and then cutting him dead (which isn't something I've ever done in 12 years) leaves very little ambiguity I think.

Ain't - so tempting to message the picture to him but it would achieve nothing really.

Have had a lovely evening at a friends and am feeling strong still. It beyond weird thinking that I'll never speak to him again. He was my best mate and staunch supporter but I've endured worse than this and am still standing.

Plus.....if there was really nothing going on, he'd be so confused as to why I'd cut him dead and would be demanding to know what was going on. The fact that he's just slinking away tells me all I need to know.

Just read this whole thread. Op, you're coming away from this with all your dignity intact, full of class and for me admirable. As shit as it is, that's quite a lot to walk away with. I hope it gets easier for you.

Op I think you're amazing! 💕

@Fosterdog123

Don’t pay me too many compliments lol, I’m definitely a 22yo Pratt at times, I certainly wouldn’t have reacted with the poise and dignity you have , which frankly leaves me in awe of your strength.

I just hate the excuses people give the wealthy/ powerful men, and really hate a shitty metaphor which is entirely reductive of human beings. Egg and fucking chips my arse. I seem to have landed on my feet in terms of my view on others, but, even though you don’t know me I’m really proud of you and your elegance.

Handsome is as handsome does.

So actually not very handsome at all.

Much admiration for you OP.

Is he in a position to further her career?

Men are such disgusting cowards. Unable to be honest or give you any dignity at the end, fuck him. Pathetic.

My GODDD How I wish I'd done what you're doing OP and ignoring him when I found out my other half - my DD's 'Dad' was cheating. Things would've turned out very differently. Don't want to elaborate but I really admire your attitude. Well done you x

Online dating sites. Some are not specifically for dating. A lot of people 30 + 40+ 50+ looking online. Just talk to people. It's refreshing to speak to someone that's been through it all and just wants to talk. Enjoy yourself. Go out with your mates. Be happy. When couples get comfortable, the guy starts taking the woman for granted. Guys need to be in a bit of an unpredictable situation to stay tuned sometimes.
He is with a little girl. The joke's on him. She could be his daughter. What a loser. Laugh at him. No respect for him.
Hope you feel better soon.

Not that you would have him now, but I'd feel inclined to inform her of his former status, ex #themoralityoftheOW ?

Not in a position to further her career. He's a corporate guy and she's a model/podium dancer/promo girl.

We were never comfortable as such. We never became complacent with each other. We still laughed, talked about everything, had mutual respect, had fun blar blar blar. He just chucked it all under a bus. I've woken up today feeling even stronger. He's gone from extraordinary in my eyes to disappointingly pitiful. Onwards and upwards from here 💪🏼

Well done Foster You are better off without him. He's trying to recapture something and you just know young girl will get bored with him and/or he'll get fed up with shelling out dosh to impress her.