Just discovered OH is with someone else

[Fosterdog123]

Been together 12 years. Last 2 years have been tough - last 12 months particularly so but we were limping on. My gut instinct made me go digging. He is with a 20-something beautiful young woman. He's a walking fucking cliche. My knees are like jelly and I feel sick to the pit of my stomach. I want nothing more to do with him but I feel like I've been dropped into a surreal dream/nightmare. I have lost so much recently and this is the final blow.

He is certainly a piece of work but if he really was happy with his new girlfriend he wouldn’t be texting you in the middle of the night would he?
It is perfectly ok to be down & fed up after a long term relationship has broken down. Allow yourself to grieve for the loss of the person you thought he was.

Im sleeping shit. My diet is worse and made up of 95% chocolate. Booze isn't a vice. My anxiety is raging, due to him and issues with friends. Shit shit shit and then some more shit.

Exercise - yuk 😝

You sound like such a strong women!! I hope you get through this stronger than before xx

Can I. Are a passive aggressive suggestion? Go on social media and like/love/comment on everything you can.
'Oh that's a wonderful place, we had such a good time there'.
"Oh I love that, do you remember when we..."
Ah, you look so happy!

One last blast of looking and commenting as much as you can. He'll probably delete you then!

You're doing so well OP, even if at times you don't feel it.

Come on lovely...you're doing so well. Please be kind to yourself. Chocolate, pancakes, crisps, take aways....eat whatever you want and enjoy it. Good to know booze isn't a vice, I'm terrible for drinking for the wrong reasons (my dh always says "have a drink to make the good times fun, don't drink to try and make the bad times better"...wish I listened to him more!) as it does tend to intensify feelings.

You're bloody brilliant, keep going. He's a shit. You know he's a shit. You are a thousand times better off without that half price prick in your life.

Half price prick?! My auto correct is on fire tonight....Although I quite like half price prick!

I love half price prick! It sounds so fitting!

half price prick!

Even at half price that prick isn't worth it! 😆

Auto correct gets it right sometimes

I'm loving half price prick now! I've called dog one twice this morning. Once because he was so excited to see me get his food bowl out he ran around me in circles...pissing. And the second time because he jumped on my lap and knocked my tea out of my hand. Its a husky, not a lapdog which he seems to choose to forget.

How are you this morning foster? x

*He's a husky....not it! He would be most offended at being referred to as an it.

Ha, love it! I'm ok. Trying to clutch at some positives.....

Do you foster dogs OP? You could lavish all your love on a very worthy boy or girl? My little pooch has been fab (and,surprisingly, uncritical 😁) of mistakes I've made. You going shopping this weekend?

"The best revenge is a life well lived" is a quote I like. If you can afford (time and money) why not go somewhere you will be looked after? Easier to eat well if someone else is cooking! I go to a spa place in Scotland - good food, massages, plenty of exercise options. Helps me to get my balance back if you see what I mean.

I have fostered dogs in the past, yes. What gave the game away?? 😉 Can't have one at the mo plus I had one that broke my heart that I'll never recover from 😥

Can't go away at the mo as I have commitments at home (good ones, not restrictive ones). I'd be going away by myself too and I'm not paying good money to sit by myself and be miserable when I can do that for free here!!

Evening foster, how has your day been?

Good non restrictive commitments are a good thing I think, it will provide some structure which I find always helps me. As I mentioned above I'm a bit prone to moping and boozing when something happens and having things I need to get done (dog walk, meeting mum, coffee, yoga class I'd already paid for) helps me get up and out and not wallow. Not that you are wallowing, I just mean it's good to have something to get up and out the house for.

How are things with your friend? Did you manage to sort things out?

Husky is my first ever dog. You'd be more than welcome to foster him for a day so I can hoover without him going mental!

Hope you've had as good a day as possible given the circumstances.

x

I am very much wallowing, I know I am but I'm struggling with being positive. My anger has gone away but I am finding it difficult to take in what he's done. I think I'm finding it harder though because of the issues I'm having with friends. If I had a couple of good girlfriends to lean on, I don't think I'd feel quite so bad.

Things have gone from bad to worse with friend and there will be no sorting it out.

Friend with new man hasn't been in touch for weeks.

And I've just had a shit ton of rescue remedy followed by a martini chaser. My anxiety levels were off the scale and my heart was racing, so I figured I needed a bit of a relaxer.

Oh I'm sorry your friend has been a bit shit. Do you have any other support in real life?

I'm curious about rescue remedy, do you find it works? I have awful social anxiety and haven't found anything that helps (other than a stiff drink!) but have always wondered about trying rescue remedy x

Oh no op. I'm sorry to hear you're struggling. But you know, wallowing is ok, raging is ok, sobbing is ok. However you feel is ok. In fact, I'd be tempted by homicidal next

I'm so cross with your friends. It's at times like this that you find out who the hood ones are

I do think that rescue remedy works a bit. It tastes a bit like brandy! I use the spray.

My real life support is sadly lacking. I have had some very close friends of many years standing but there have been recent fallings out with several of them (them with me largely) and several others have just drifted off. I was very close to my parents and they both died within the last 3 years. My dads was in horrific circumstances, which I witnessed and has had a lasting effect on me.

Oh no, I'm so sorry to hear that. That's absolutely tragic Have you received any sort of therapy or counselling to help with the passing of your parents?

You've always got us to talk to but I know it isn't the same as having someone in real life. Don't suppose you're in the south east?!