Dh has been having an affair. He get a home in an hour. Please keep me calm.

[youspinmerightround]

Found emails and a receipt for flowers. The emails are just Facebook messenger notifications so I can't read what they say but he's addressed the flowers to "my love".

I'm in with the 3 dc. I'm going to be sick.

Is there someone who can come over even if you don't tell them? Say you are feeling unwell or something (not a lie)? Company will help you get through today.

Don't tell the children today because you're in too much pain to comfort them if they need you.

Peace i think the opposite. She needs outside support. Keeping it between them wont work as hes a liar. As such she will be manipulated into believibg his version. When ppl know they will help. He will not help.

I don't think there is any point in asking why. He's a liar and a gaslighter. He will try to blame the OP for his abuse. No point in asking to be slapped in the face again.

@youspinmerightround

Ring the Samaritans. I rang them recently not because I was suicidal, but because I felt so alone and nobody would understand and they did understand. Honestly they were fab and it really really helped me gather my thoughts because I was able to untangle my thinking. Here's their number:

116 123

💐

Op if it helps i think you sound lovely. You deserve so much more and one day you will find it even though things are horrible now. This too will pass.

im so sorry youre going through this. Hes totally lying through his teeth,

I don't even think I can stop sobbing to even talk to anyone.

Bloody hell OP I'm sorry. Why some men do this is beyond me.

Try and have a sleep if you can.

So sorry op . You deserve so much better xx

Is there any way your friend can leave work and come to you? It is an emergency and I am sure if you asked her she would. A hug and someone you can confide in and trust.

I agree don't tell the children until you know what you are doing, and the wording etc agreed if that is what happens.

For now you need a story as to why Daddy is working away, you need to tell them you are feeling unwell so they don't worry about you, and you need some real life support from your trusted friend(s) the GP and anyone else you can allow into your cocoon.

You will come through this at some point, there will be light again, but for now make sure your finances are protected. Change your passwords on everything and make sure you have covered these things before anything else.

So sorry OP.

I think you should make up an excuse for now and tell the DCs when emotions are not quite so high. It's not even been 24 hours. It's a huge leap from everything is fine to him moving out.

Op text your friend if you can't speak. Tell her to come to your house it is an emergency.

She can help you through this, help you with a plan for the next few days. Look after the children once they are back

You are in deep shock. You need support.

You need someone with you in rl op

@youspinmerightround

Find the energy to let it all out and if you’re wracked with sobs and can barely speak your friend will completely understand. You’re in deep shock and someone you thought loved you has essentially fucked you over. Your whole world has taken a massive shunt and you need your tribe around you.
Friends - good friends - can be not only a source of amazing support but can open doors in a way you may not have considered. When I was in deep crisis I ended up with a fantastic flat that became my sanctuary and bolthile because some lass at her work was away to move out. Within three weeks that place was mine.
I’m not suggesting you LTB but lean on your friends and help and comfort that you never realised will come forth xx

Sadly, if he said he was leaving, it means he has already left IMO.
In most cases the cheating shit has to be asked to leave. When they are back stepping, trying to lie their way out.
He isn't asking for forgiveness it seems.
He lies. So very sorry for you.
Tell him under no circumstances may he say to DC "Mummy doesn't love me anymore" or any of that manipulative shit.
He can tell them the truth.

Neutral support is great. The Samaritans are an excellent idea, as is the University (leave that til Monday).

I was from a broken home and even though it hurts you have to tell the kids a simple, clear, short version of the truth. Cover-ups wont help anyone, they will smell a rat and make up something possibly worse in their heads.

Tell them that whatever happens you love them and that they come first. Tell them that they will be staying with you, they will keep their home and their school and that Dad will see them on X day next.

Tell their school so that the school can help them or support them if they are sad/distracted/misbehave etc.

I remember literally howling with grief when this happened to me. It's the utter shock. I had no inkling either until I found letters (pre internet!) soon you will be physically exhausted, and the sobbing will abate. Please do as PPs have said. Sugary drinks if you can't eat, and sleep when you feel you can.

Her parents are going to chuffed when they discover she is having an affair with a married man with 3 DC. Tosser

Please get some RL support. You don't need to "face anyone". You need a hug. And it doesn't matter if you're sobbing through it.

@youspinmerightround

When you start talking, you'll be thinking about what you're talking about and will stop crying. You might cry again but will stop again. Honestly ring the Samaritans OP. 💐

It is not a broken home - just a different one. The shame is his and his alone. Please gather support where you can OP.

You need someone to be with you op. It's a huge shock.

I can sooooo feel your pain.
It's heartbreaking to see it written down.
Brings it all back, I'm actually welling up reading your posts.
Will your friend come by after work?
Please try to sit and breathe and have a cup of sugary tea or coffee.
You won't feel like it but please try to drink it.
It sounds a little crazy but is there a kitchen cupboard or wardrobe that needs sorting out?
You need to keep busy somehow and that helped me.
I just wanna fuckin' kill men sometimes.
YES - all of them!