Dh has been having an affair. He get a home in an hour. Please keep me calm.

[youspinmerightround]

Found emails and a receipt for flowers. The emails are just Facebook messenger notifications so I can't read what they say but he's addressed the flowers to "my love".

I'm in with the 3 dc. I'm going to be sick.

He didn't work in a factory by any chance?

Thinking of you, do you have real life support?

I get it OP, no matter what he's done, his thoughts were on someone else. I couldn't live with that, it would change everything. x

Whether he actually went to bed with her or just imagined it, I don't think makes a difference now. He is sending flowers and lyrics to love songs in an attempt to woo her (sorry OP). That's a deal breaker. He has shown where his loyalties lie, or where he is desperate for them to lie, and it isn't with his wife and children.

Whose idea was it that he move out now?

Those aren't songs of people who've never met up. They're hardly Chirpy Chirpy Cheep Cheep are they?

I'm getting angry now on your behalf. Does he think you came down in the last shower?

Have you tried putting her name into facebook search bar?

As I've said before, even in the best case scenario it would be over for me.

I'm so sorry op. It doesn't seem like it but it does get easier. And one day the sun will shine again.

Really feel for you OP. What a horrible thing to do to your wife. Is he remorseful at all? Sending you strength today day

What an arsehole. Stay strong OP, you've had some great advice from others on here.

Be kind to yourself OP, stay strong x

My heart is breaking for you, my XH announced he didn’t want us to be together completely out of the blue 5 years ago.
I made him tell the dc as it was his idea, but I sat there too I will never forget their faces as long as I live (they were 4 and 7) and I don’t think he will either. My eldest is quite angry with him still and won’t go to his, he comes to mine twice a week and I go out or he wouldn’t see him at all.
Can I suggest keeping them at home tomorrow and trying to get an appointment with their Head teachers? Our schoolwas fantastic and put counselling sessions in place so the dc has a ‘safe place’ where they could talk without worrying about making either of us upset.
I was at the end of my first year of my degree. I was granted an extension for my hand in date.
5 years on I am most proud that I completed my degree and dc didn’t see me give up when the going got tough.
I hope that carries them through their own life and further education.
Stay strong we are all here if you need a chat. (((Hugs)))

OP go to the doctor and get sleeping pills and anti-anxiety meds. When it happened to me, having these on hand saved my sanity. You will get through this. So sorry you are going through this.

PLEASE DONT TELL THE KIDS!
I went through it when I was a kid and it's bloody horrible being in the middle of shit! Wait until emotions aren't so high and you have made decisions as grown ups first.
You don't know how you will feel in a few days

I can't stop crying today. I don't even know how I'm goinf to face the dcs when they get home. I am in so much pain it's unbearable.

I agree with others that no matter what, you need to protect those kids first and foremost. Emotions will be all over the place, you may stay together, you may not. But it is way too early to sit them down and have 'that talk'.

My ex left and we made a story up about him having to go away for work (easier because he did work away a lot). We told the children when we knew it was over definitely. Until then, protect them.

OP - who made the decision for him to move out so soon?

I’m so sorry, OP. Is there someone you can call IRL to come over ASAP?

Oh OP - we can all only tell you that it will get better.
But this will take time.
I used to cry all the time.

Sob and sob and sob - there really is no end to the amount of tears you can cry.
And the heartbreak is so real.
Real real pain that you've never felt before.
Like someone has literally ripped your heart out of your chest.
And then thrown in the floor where it's smashed into a million pieces.
And then just for the hell of it, stomped all over it.
We really do understand.

Have you told anyone yet?
You need some support.
It's so hard to deal with on your own.
Could a family member be at your home for the DC later and you go to a friends?

im in scotland too OP, so know there is someone nearby who has been through what you are going through and is thinking of you

can i just say with regard to the fb messages, on messenger when you delete it gives you the option to delete or archive, it doesnt archive them automatically.

i dont know if you even want more info, or have the energy to look, or if it even matters. but things like checking his location services on iphone, if he has it switched on, will tell you where he has been/spent time. or the battery usage, will tell you how much time he spends on his apps.

id definitely be looking at phone bills/bank statements etc. to solidify everything in my mind. however what he has done is already enough, to think of and speak to another woman like that, who isnt your wife.

Please don't be on your own! Call a friend, your mum, anyone. Poor poor girl.

I've told my friend but she is at work. I can't bare to tell anyone else yet. I can't face anyone.

I know its hard but please just throw that grief to the bottom of your stomach and try to get on with the mundane. It is something which happens to many women unfortunately. But think of keeping your kids settled. Do it bit by bit. Put them a cartoon on and cook tea. Make a coffee. Pull te duvets back. Bleach the toilet. Feed them. Pyjamas you get my drift. Then ring simeone you trust and sob when theyre asleep xxx

Please ring someone close to you, OP. Failing that the Samaritans, who are amazing listeners. Just remember, you are not on your own. So sorry that you're having to go through this. Please take your time to deal with all of this pain, and not make any speedy, irreversible decisions.

Ah, op, I'm so sorry.

I know folks on here are trying to be helpful. But it doesn't matter what anyone else would do, it's about you and him and your kids.

You don't need to make any decisions right away. Get some space and think it through.

Is there anyone in real life you can talk to or be with?

Thinking of you.
I don't think you should say too much to too many 'alive' people. Who knows you guys may decide to try and work through the s and there is no point then worrying about 'what people might think' if you do stay.
Have you asked him what he thought was going to happen with this OW. Did he want your marriage to be over?
Was he bored? Unhappy?
You need a calm chat with him.
Please don't tell the kids yet until you are 100% sure what you want to do. Helping out a friend is a good idea, some said earlier.
Oh and shift the money out your joint account or freeze them. They will take it all!!!!