Dh has been having an affair. He get a home in an hour. Please keep me calm.

[youspinmerightround]

Found emails and a receipt for flowers. The emails are just Facebook messenger notifications so I can't read what they say but he's addressed the flowers to "my love".

I'm in with the 3 dc. I'm going to be sick.

Like everyone else, i agree your OH is lying. Don't be a mug. There is no chance that you can work through this if he isn't even willing to tell you the truth. I have been through this and it is utterly heartbreaking. Without honesty and truth there is no chance for you both. He needs to tell you everything and you need to get counselling if you are going to move forward. So sorry for you, it is truly appalling, and I feel your pain. You will get through it though.

Two songs about lovers being kept apart. Yuk.

My heart goes out to you. Your world has flipped so quickly x

What a dreadful shock, I'm so sorry. Please confide in someone close, it'll help. What a blasted fool he is, as this begins to slowly sink in, you will lose respect for him, and life will begin to move forwards.🌺🌺🌺

have just googled the lyrics.

god almighty

OP, I feel so sorry for you.

I feel I'm missing something though (and apologies, I HAVE RTFT, but did so on my phone and may have missed a post.)

You had a discussion with your DH, he admitted to chasing her, sending flowers, the stuff about the song lyrics, but insists that they never met up. He refused to give you access to FB, WhatsApp or toher corrspidnecne because he felt you would erad things into it (or some other patronising guff).

Then you say he is leaving tonight and you are both telling the kids tonight.

Is there something that happened in between these two things? Has he admitted to more? Are you kicking him out (on the basis of the admitted indiscretions, or because you believe there is more to it?) Or is he going of his own volition?

I think in terms of the kids, you should come up with a 'holding story' to tell them from now, to buy you some time to decide what ultimately to tell them, if indeed you do decide to split. I certainly wouldn't be doing the 'daddy has been a cunt and doesn't love us anymore' script right now. Too premature my lovely. Also, you do need to find out more- you need to get your husband to talk to you truthfully. It's the only possible way back for your marriage (if indeed salvage is even still on your agenda. Nobody could blame you if this was already too much.)
x

Are your DC back at school today? I thought your DH was taking them out?
Has he taken them? It seems very quick to be telling the DC.

I think the H was taking out one of the children today, not all.

I think the H was taking out one of the children today, not all.

to 'their' song. My goodness.
Definitely sounds like infatuation, your h is behaving like a love struck teenager. What's the connection to Scotland OP? It's an extremely sentimental song.

True love Wow.

The two older ones are at school and thea away out with the youngest. I need to tell them they're quite intuitive children and they'll know something up. Especially the oldest. I'd rather just say dh isn't going to be living here for a while we don't know how long if it will be a little while or forever but they will see him x days or whatever.

We are Scottish. And it's one of my favourite songs it's played at the end of every wedding etc here. My sister is getting married I may and I'll have to hear it.

I'm so glad he's moving out OP.

Please don't take him back. It wasn't an emotional affair. Your husband only didn't shag her because she said no. It's down to her that he didn't cheat (if he hasn't already) not him. You and your children deserve SO much more.

What a betrayal youspinmerightround I hope you find the strength you will need (and have) to deal with this idiot. So sorry.

Has he confessed to more?

How did he know her address if they havent met up? I mean I know where colleagues live roughly butepuld never know the actual house number or name etc.

OP this is just the tip of the iceberg.
Please try to see his archived messages as that's where deleted messages usually go. And it's just a pathetic excuse that he's deleted them to avoid you not picking over small things. He knew you knew and immediately deleted the thread. He didn't just think you were going to over think mundane conversation. There was sexual content, maybe meet up info etc. Do not be a fool.

He will be on the phone to OW this morning while he is meant to be out having fun with DC getting the stories straight.

I can smell strong BS.

No he hasn't but it doesn't matter. I feel betrayed beyond ways I could have ever imagined.

It seems very quick to be telling the DC. What ages are the children? They are both of yours first priority here. Tread gently in relation to the children. Every word has to be carefully chosen. Give yourselves time to do that.
You guys are adults, you have the resources to manage this, no matter what (I know it doesn't feel like that today, but that is a fact).
If he wants to go tonight then tell them he's having to stay elsewhere for a couple of weeks to do with work (if they are young enough to believe that), but he'll be back each day to see them.
He's done enough damage for one day. Think about when you were the age your kids are, and see what would be a gentle way to bridge this process, without shocking them with a Dad's leaving today and he's not coming back scene involving suitcases in your hallway later on.
There is a big opportunity for lasting damage to the kids here and that needs to be managed. And both of you have to find a way past your anger and despair to manage that. You can't manage it in hindsight, so like I said, tread carefully on their delicate senses.
You will get through this. Arm yourself with support and advice, open the doors to asking for help, talk to friends family and your college counsellor.

No, he has shagged her he just hasnt admitted it yet.

I can't say he's away for work he works two minutes down the road and his work wouldn't ever take him away.

*I meant lasting damage in relation to how you tell your kids...

OP, so, so sorry that you're going through this. I have been in your situation myself and my parents were so, so supportive. Genuine lifesavers. Thanks to them I was able to get through it all and rebuild my and my daughter's life. Do you have a good relationship with your parents? If you do, please confide in them. If not, do get support from a close friend or other relative. I would also counsel extreme caution, please don't rush into anything regarding your husband and telling the children. You are still in shock and decision making is difficult. Don't give him a free pass to leave, quiz him on childcare arrangements. Make sure he steps up to his responsibilities with the children, as while he may not be in the same house, they are still jointly his. Maybe suggest a 'cooling off' period to further explore the situation? Echo what other posters say re Uni and your nursing degree, get in touch with them, they'll understand - you're so nearly there, keep going. You will then have a decent career, whatever happens in the future. We're all here for you, darling girl, keep posting, keep calm if you can, you will get through this.

What ages are you DCs?

Well say he needs to helf a friend in need or something?

Why Is he moving out if he hadn't admitted to anything?