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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Dh has been having an affair. He get a home in an hour. Please keep me calm.

943 replies

youspinmerightround · 04/01/2018 21:12

Found emails and a receipt for flowers. The emails are just Facebook messenger notifications so I can't read what they say but he's addressed the flowers to "my love".

I'm in with the 3 dc. I'm going to be sick.

OP posts:
cavatron · 04/01/2018 22:53

Sending lots of hugs OP.

Orlandointhewilderness · 04/01/2018 22:53

thinking of you. xx

MrsPrimAndProper · 04/01/2018 22:53

^ which only goes to a) prove his guilt and b) prove how stupid he is!!

frasier · 04/01/2018 22:53

Thanks MrsPrimAndProper. It was the word "thread" that threw me, assumed messages would be separate things, like emails.

Kursk · 04/01/2018 22:54

Good luck

huha · 04/01/2018 22:54

How's it going OP?

frasier · 04/01/2018 22:55

And thanks sparechange

2018SoFarSoGreat · 04/01/2018 22:56

I feel a little sick waiting this one out - not in a ghoulish way (I hope) but imagining what poor OP is going through right now. Haven't been there, but been around it enough to see the havoc it causes.

Hugs to all of you who have lived this. Hugs to OP and we're here for you when you need us. There are incredibly wise posters here who can steer you right whatever comes up.

CauliflowerBalti · 04/01/2018 22:57

My first husband had two affairs that I caught him in. He lied through his teeth denying both. I gave him the benefit of the doubt the first time. I was stupid and naive. Be strong and trust your instincts. You know.

flutterby12 · 04/01/2018 22:58

Ask him to leave to give yourself some space. I hope you're ok x

ssd · 04/01/2018 22:59

Fucking prick

Thanks for you

Unicornfluffycloudsandrainbows · 04/01/2018 23:00
Flowers
Youvegotafriendinme · 04/01/2018 23:02

Oh OP how awful for you Sad big hugs

Mrsfluff · 04/01/2018 23:02

Op, I'm so sorry you're going through this. I've been where you are now and the pain was unimaginable. The lies and deceit slowly unfold, making a mockery of the life you thought you were living. You will come through it, just make sure you surround yourself with friends and family.

MiddleClassProblem · 04/01/2018 23:05
Flowers
NorthernLurker · 04/01/2018 23:06

Well if you weren't sure before him deleting the messages is pretty bloody guilty behaviour.

ohtheholidays · 04/01/2018 23:08

I'm so sorry OP,I hope you have good friends/family that you can reach out to for support Flowers

Secretlifeofme · 04/01/2018 23:08

Sending hugs OP

PieAndPumpkins · 04/01/2018 23:11

What a scumbag, I'm so sorry. Do you have a friend or someone who can come and be with you?

Rejectedwoman · 04/01/2018 23:13

Hugs

sweatylemon · 04/01/2018 23:15

Hang on in there, we are all hand holding

SammySays · 04/01/2018 23:17

Thinking of you OP Flowers

coffeecow · 04/01/2018 23:17

Thinking of you OP

Ceebs85 · 04/01/2018 23:18

I genuinely feel sick for you OP. Your posts display your shock and its clear how much he's hurt you.

Did you have suspicions which made you check his emails?

I really hope he's at least shown you enough respect to have been honest with you. The lying is the worst bit.

I promise you won't always feel this bad. You and your children deserve more than this horrible excuse of a man

TheLegendOfBeans · 04/01/2018 23:20

Jesus wept. He’s away to pull every excuse he has out of his sorry arse. Stand firm Flowers