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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Dh has been having an affair. He get a home in an hour. Please keep me calm.

943 replies

youspinmerightround · 04/01/2018 21:12

Found emails and a receipt for flowers. The emails are just Facebook messenger notifications so I can't read what they say but he's addressed the flowers to "my love".

I'm in with the 3 dc. I'm going to be sick.

OP posts:
LalalaLeah · 04/01/2018 22:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bumsnetnetbums · 04/01/2018 22:02

Because to be fair she wont think of his family because they are his. Not hers.
Homewreckers are only so because men allow them to be. Shagging someone elses bloke smacks of desperation but no way would i call another woman a slag for anything

rollingonariver · 04/01/2018 22:02

Hope you're okay op, this is awful. I can't even imagine, I hope you can rebuild your life without this arsehole.

user764329056 · 04/01/2018 22:03

DotCotton, completely agree, fucking hate women who do this to other women, no integrity, morals or values.
OP am assuming your husband due home very shortly, sending you love and strength

CarysMa · 04/01/2018 22:03

He'll have told her what a stand up hero he is, supporting his large family in a loveless marriage blah blah blah. I don't like to read posters calling ow a 'slag' as no doubt she thinks he loves her and what with him being a great guy and all, he stays with his family because he's too good a man to leave.

PasstheStarmix · 04/01/2018 22:03

It's respect at the end of the day; he has none. He has broken your trust and shown not a second thought for you or the children.

Lozzie12 · 04/01/2018 22:04

I am so sorry to see this, I desperately hope there is some explanation for. Sending you strength.

PasstheStarmix · 04/01/2018 22:04

CarysMa I suppose he could have told her they're married but living separate lives. These men will say anything it takes

Coconutcrush · 04/01/2018 22:04

Maybe pretend you know more than u do. When he gets in maybe say I know all about you and 'insert name' I want to know the truth from your mouth ,otherwise we are finished right now . Then stay very quiet and watch him and listen to your instincts a barrage of questions usually shuts some people down so let him talk , most likely he will lie. If he says he hasn't had contact with her in any way you will have caught him in a lie.(flowers) I truly hope there is an innocent explanation for you .Has he done anything like this before ? Sending you strength ! Stick up for yourself x

Saffronwblue · 04/01/2018 22:04

Good luck OP. The intensity of this awful time will pass. Just get through each hour, then day.

C0untDucku1a · 04/01/2018 22:05

Good luck op.

MaccaPaccaismyNemesis · 04/01/2018 22:05

So sorry OP, Thanks

Fellia · 04/01/2018 22:05

So sorry op Flowers

GladAllOver · 04/01/2018 22:06

Thinking of you OP. I can only guess how much this is hurting you, please be strong.

FucksakeCuntingFuckingTwats · 04/01/2018 22:06

Call his bluff, you have been told about them and seen everything and he can't lie because you know the truth.

StylishMummy · 04/01/2018 22:07

Good luck sweetheart

LauraMipsum · 04/01/2018 22:07

Good luck.

MesLesDes · 04/01/2018 22:07

Sad Thanks

custardlover · 04/01/2018 22:08

Sorry to hear this, good luck Thanks

skippykips · 04/01/2018 22:08

Oh op, good luck. Be strong Thanks

Ifyouseeapolarbear · 04/01/2018 22:09

You are stronger than you think and he is a selfish little man who doesn't deserve you. Tell him you won't listen to a word he has to say until he tells the truth. He doesn't deserve a chance to carry on wasting any more of your time and hurting you with any more lies. Try and harness your inner calm ice queen for tonight OP- you've got her in you. Thinking of you and rooting for you, you will be ok you have to hold onto that knowledge even if it's too hard to believe right now.

LittleLights · 04/01/2018 22:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Babytalkobsession · 04/01/2018 22:10

How awful. What a joke of a husband and father. I hope he has the decency to tell you the truth Flowers

Smithy66 · 04/01/2018 22:10

😥

gluteustothemaximus · 04/01/2018 22:10

Good luck OP. I don't know whether you'll see this, but I echo other posters. Make out you know more than you do.

Men will only admit what they have to. Been there. Only I believed him!

Be strong Flowers