Did my boyfriend rape me?

[Jaquithefirst]

OK first off I have mental issues mainly around anxiety due to a chaotic childhood among other things. I take medication for this which does not react well to oral contraceptives. I am terrified, absolutely terrified, of the thought of becoming pregnant and have always made anyone I've been with wear a condom.
I've been with my current partner for eight months and although he hates condoms he has used them.
Last night he was out drinking and I was in bed asleep. I woke at 3am to find him very drunk pulling my pajama bottoms off. I was lying on my front and he was trying to enter me. I was tired but got up to get a condom and put it on him with much difficulty.
He turned me round, and with difficulty, muttering about my 'fat arse' he pushed my legs apart with he knees and entered me. He had sex with me for about ten minutes, I was tired and just waited him out. Eventually he pulled out and I thought he was finished but as I turned around he entered me again. I turned my head and saw him drop the condom on the duvet. I panicked straight away and said "no please don't". He just pushed in as far as he could go and held me in that position without moving. At this stage I was crying for him to stop. After just a minute I felt him jerk as he ejaculated inside me. He stayed in me for a bit longer and pulled out before walking to the toilet. He returned to find me crying and squatting on a Kleenex in the middle of the bedroom. He just gave me a woozy drunken look and went straight to sleep.
I was awake all night and confronted him when he finally woke. He claims he doesn't remember anything. Now I'm terrified of being pregnant. What should I do?

You poor thing...so so sorry,

You can get the morning after pill from a chemist, just ask. And it’s usually effective for longer than just the morning after.

You need to keep the condom for evidence.

Yes, you were raped. Please contact th3 police, for you and any other woman he comes across.

Please could you also get your title changed? Report the thread to MN , it’s a bit triggering for some people.

Sympathy, again..

I'm so sorry this happened to you. It's absolutely not your fault. Saying no is more than enough.

Even if you can't usually take oral contraceptives the MAP is a one time dose so may still be an option. It also used to be the case that a copper IUD can be fitted as emergency contraception up to 5 days after sex (not 100% sure if they still offer this).

If you're not sure about going to the police yet you can go to a SARC. They'll be able to check you over for injury and to gather any evidence with no pressure while you decide what you want to do. Not sure if they also provide emergency contraception. Hopefully another poster will know.

OP take care of yourself. ditch this bastard asap.

How soon can I take a test? I'm sorry I'm so clueless
I assume you mean a pregnancy test?

Irrelevant you can prevent yourself needing to do a test by either -

• Emergency Contraceptive Pill up to 3 days (72 hours) afterwards

• An IUD (intra-uterine device), often called a coil, can be fitted up to 5 days (120 hours) afterwards

I have a key for the front door but the back is locked and I think he has it. It's his house. He should be home in an hour or so.

I don't know if I can call the police. I let him have sex with me I just didn't want him to ejaculate inside me.

I have a key for the front door but the back is locked and I think he has it. It's his house. He should be home in an hour or so
I don't want to frighten you but I am scared for you right now.

What do you want to do??

I'm sorry this has happened to you.

You can get the coil up to 5 days after the event as emergency contraception. It won't interfere with your medication.

He remembers

It's a common and obvious tactic

YOU ASKED HIM TO DTOP EVEN CRIED FOR HIM TO STOP AND HE DIDNT! HE HELD YOU DOWN!!!!!!

Please call 101 - option 1 - And just ask the call handler's Advice? They will talk you through it x

I haven't slept since it happened. I can't really think. Sometimes he stays at a friend's house.

Please read this -
rapecrisis.org.uk/ifyouvejustbeenraped.php

I don't know where you live but here is where you find your local Rape Crisis Service -
rapecrisis.org.uk/centres.php

Here is some health information -
rapecrisis.org.uk/healthfeelings_1.php

This is about reporting it to the police -
rapecrisis.org.uk/reportingtothepolice_1.php

PROMISE ME you will call 101? Now?

I'm going to go to the chemist first thing.

Please call 101 - option 1 - And just ask the call handler's Advice? They will talk you through it x
Sorry to contradict you but ring 999 not 101.

(Sorry Mother but I am worried that 101 won't be answered quickly enough as her BF is due home in about an hour)

I'm crying at all the support I've been given.

I'm crying at all the support I've been given
Don't cry now, get phoning and cry later.

I can't ring 999. What would I say. I let him have sex with me

What is worrying you about reporting it? He raped you sweetheart. I'm sorry to be blunt, but he went out drinking with his mates, came home drunk, raped his girlfriend then didn't remember it!

Not remembering it means 0% to the Courts
Totally irrelevant

Only to begin with! You asked him to STOP and he didn't. He continued. That is a serious crime. That is RAPE

Whatever you decide to do, we're here.

You can’t lock him out a house that he owns,it’s illegal and provocative. It’s very bad advice
If you want to prevent him seeing you you need a restraining order, via police
Can you stay with anyone else?do you want to?
If you want to maintain forensic evidence Don’t shower, there are nhs sexual assault referral centre
Up to you if you wish to report the rape,nhs staff won’t compel you to

How’s your finances arranged - own account or one joint shared acc

I was raped once. I agreed to sex to begin with. The. It started to really, really hurt. I asked him to stop. He didn't.

Police agreed it was indeed, Rape

You said no. It doesn't matter if you said no half way through. It was rape. He's a horrible excuse for a person. He abused you, raped you, forced unprotected sex on you, insulted you in a horrible demeaning way and ignored you crying.

You need to take care of yourself right now and do whatever you can to protect yourself. Are you sure there's nowhere you can go right now??!

Here is some information about SARC -
rapecrisis.org.uk/sexualassaultreferralcentres.php

You could go there and speak to professionals who will be able to advise you and if you do decide to go to the police in the future, they can support you.

One thing though - STOP MINIMISING WHAT HE DID

Sorry this is going to sound harsh but HE RAPED YOU and it was nobody's fault but his fault and you are worth more as a person than to be forced to have sex when you have not said yes to it.

Right now you are very confused and very traumatised and your mind is trying to make sense of it.

Well your mind can't make sense of it, it doesn't make sense because what HE did to YOU was wrong and not your fault.