Zoo - I've read most of but not all this thread. I know you've got a lot of very good and strong advice from people here. I really feel for you and you should be proud of making the break from this terrible person.
I just wanted to express my support to you and hoping that you can now stick to no contact. You have to for yourself, for your life, for your independence, your future, your happiness.
You know that he will say or do anything to keep you engaged and trapped. Nothing, absolutely nothing means anything - it is only designed to enmesh you.
So please don't read messages, speak to him, reply to him or listen to his friends. Don't listen, don't be curious, shocked or hurt by anything he says. It is all manipulation and lies. He will say anything to hurt or manipulate you and control you.
The sooner you go through the grief of this bereavement the sooner the pain will end. It's actually more like recovering from a brainwashing or addiction - it's doing you real harm and the only way to be healthy again is to go through the withdrawal.
The pain will end. I promise you. One day you will wake up and it's not the first thing that hits you in the eyes. Another day you will notice you didn't think of him once. Over time you will start to recover your sense of self and start having fun and laughter again. But you need time and there's no shortcut.
And remember the lengths his previous ex had to go through. You have to put your armour on and stay strong. Do it for you. He's toxic and you need to be totally rid of him. Forever. Other women have escaped - you will too.