The man who disappeared part 2

[Carrotgirl999]

Sorry, I don't know if I need a new thread, as it will probably be me just wallowing / getting angry / getting sad. But thought I'd better anyways

At least I can tell you all when his stuffs gone and the chapter is completely closed.

I am so fucking shocked by all this I truly am. And il have to sit my son down tonight and tell him.

Cowardly cowardly bastard.

Thinking about finances. My best friend manages a really trendy bar. Iv asked her for a job Friday and Saturdays. While my lad goes to my mum and dads. So two jobs. But I think because it's such a cool place it'll feel like a social life maybe? And il
Make new friends? And il make some money? I think this will work x

And tonight while I can't sleep I am going to read and read and read this thread. The support has been overwhelming. Thank you so much Mumsnet x

You are doing SO well!x

Was just going to write similar to crazycatgal ......you have been so dignified. I’d like to think if this ever happened to me that I would act exactly as you have.
You and your son sound amazing.
HIS LOSS!
What a spineless prick!!
X

@Carrotgirl999 yes - do it. Whatever it takes to change your narrative. Go for it and no matter what - come back here and someone will answer!

The bar is a great idea. I left my avusive husband, started a masters and worked in a social club (full of old mean really!) but it was great due my social life and stopped me feeling stuck in on my own when the DC's went to their dads. Honestly. It's a very good idea!

All those typos!

Yesterday I thought you were being melodramatic at first, but bloody hell, you fucking rock!!!!
Totally rock,
He is a spineless dick, and you are just awesome ❤️❤️❤️

I've been thinking about you all day as I read your thread in the middle of the night when I couldn't sleep. Glad I've found you and that you and your DS are ok.

I've only had chance to scan read, but op you are amazing! You are dealing with this with such pride and dignity, he clearly never deserved a woman like you. Leave him and the ex to play their games, it's obviously not going to end well for them. Sounds like he just threw away the best thing to ever happen to him. In time true happiness will come your way xx

The bar sounds like a fab idea. Does your son already go to your Mum's Fri-Sat? Would it be for later in the evening? The only thing I'd say is don't lose out on every 'no school tomorrow' evening with him if it isn't already the pattern that those are his granny night(s). But that doesn't really apply if you'd eg not be starting til 9 or something?

I noticed that in his messages, there wasn't even a mention of your amazing DS. It's not just your life he's fucked with, and that's what would make me incandescent.
You're one strong woman and are handling this with the kind of dignity that manchild will never possess.
It's absolutely shit timing, but try to see the positive about Christmas in that it can be a distraction, something to aim for and like you said, new year fresh start.

Carrot I've not commented but read all your thread and I admire you so much.

Can I just say... when I had a break up that was messy and awful (before marriage) I took a job in a bar (at a rugby club, which is why I have a love for rugby all these years later) and it was The Very Best Thing I Ever Did. It gave me a social life, I was chatting to hot men whilst earning money, what's not to like!

A great idea and I wish you all the luck in the world.

He's a snivelling craven coward.

sending you best wishes lovely..

Read your thread earlier, am totally shocked at how he has treated you, but you are doing brilliantly and you will continue to x

Well done, Carrot! You handled this with immense dignity and you should be proud of yourself! The bar job sounds like a good idea to get you out and about for a bit. Your son sounds amazing, too. Hold your head up and go forward proudly.

OP you are fucking awesome. You are!!!

Enjoy your wine tonight, your DS sounds like a sweetie. And you know what? It's OK to show him you're upset. It will help him develop his own attitudes to how he treats women, how if affects them, and make him feel like he can do something to help. Just ask him for a cuddle.

Keep your head held high. You will be fine. You will be FANTASTIC.

The bar job sounds ideal!

He’s cheated to go back to a cheater. More fool him and I’m glad you’re out of this sooner rather than later

Carrot, I can also recommend the freedom program. It served me well.

Is he actually with his ex now? Did she kick her boyfriend out this quick? Flippen hell, they moved quick! Absolute bastards.

@Carrotgirl999 was following your other thread. So sorry it was/is so awful.

your DS sounds amazing. Give him a big cuddle from me please!!! it so does get easier!! Be strong!!!!

I loved having a pub/bar job it really does feel like you're socialising! You meet loads of new people, always busy and there are regulars! Lol good luck keep us posted

I am so impressed by the way you're handling all this, OP. You're doing so well, and are being so dignified and reasonable. You really should be proud of yourself. And he is going to kick himself black and blue once he realises what he's done.

You've handled this with such amazing strength and dignity @Carrotgirl999 -I truely think that you will be the one that got away.

And he will have to live with that. And she will have to live with thinking about you every time she sees his hip. Brilliant irony really.

I was thinking- could you not put his stuff in the communal hallway area? I would worry he would bring his fair Juliet with him, you know, because he's such a tortured soul and all. And no fucking way would I want either of the cunts in my flat. Oh and put the clothes tags in too.

Your son is adorable!