The man who disappeared part 2

[Carrotgirl999]

Sorry, I don't know if I need a new thread, as it will probably be me just wallowing / getting angry / getting sad. But thought I'd better anyways

At least I can tell you all when his stuffs gone and the chapter is completely closed.

I am so fucking shocked by all this I truly am. And il have to sit my son down tonight and tell him.

Cowardly cowardly bastard.

I followed your previously thread. You are so strong, I'd be a mess! I think you have dodged a bullet here OP. I hope you and your son have a fantastic Christmas without that utter wanker

My ex husband cheated on me years ago and I found out, the same day I found out I was pregnant. I gave him all his stuff back plus his passport (including a freshly drawn moustache on the picture)

Long story short.. I got arrested and charged for defacing his Passport.. 😕 it was bloody worth it though.

It got thrown out of court in the end, lack of evidence,

Not saying I did it or anything 😇 but that moustache was funny....

Ah you are doing great Carrot!

Onwards and upwards and no looking back. You really have dodged a bullet there. Concentrate on you and your son and have an amazing Christmas.

He's a fool. If it hasn't worked out with her after 8 years then there is next to no chance that it will work now. She is an ex for a reason.
He's fucked up big time and he won't realise until it's too late.
You deserve better.

Good on you Carrot! Retain all the dignity that you have shown so far. Let him get his shit and move on without him. I know it hurts but you really are better off with the cowardly bastard. You have your priorities perfectly straight from what you have posted - your son and you.

Hi Carrot
details of the online version ...

www.freedomprogramme.co.uk

Don't get me wrong, I am a mess. I really am. I feel weaker than I sound. But telling myself these things makes them easier to believe.

It's awful when you want a hug from the person who has hurt you. That's awful. Never getting to say goodbye, that's awful too.

But I will survive. I will. And I'm definitely doing that freedom thing. As soon as possible.

Iv heard the 'I'm sorry, I'm fucked up, it's not you, i love you, I'm just depressed' bullshit. Then his brother told me he's with her.

So he wouldn't even tell you the truth today. He's made it obvious he's not the guy he seemed to be.

I'm glad his brother stuck up for you. You're doing amazingly well.

What an idiot he really is - you're well rid

Darling it gets better. It gets easier, it really really does.

Have been there (ex H ran off with a much younger woman after 15 years together and two kids) and am through it now and happier than I have ever been, and getting married to an amazing man who really has turned out to be the love of my life.

I do remember the sickening feeling, waking up and wanting it all to have been some awful dream. I remember the feeling, but it is like it happened to a third party - I can't tell you how good freedom from someone who has treated you like shit feels like.

I look at ex H now and genuinely am at a loss as to why I ever wanted him. It will happen to you too. One day you will realise you haven't cried, then one day you will realise you never gave him a single thought all day. Be patient and kind with yourself.

Hugs xx

Carrot, I am not just saying this to make you feel better, but he is a complete wanker. Who needs a f£king drama llama like that in their lives? It's like an episode of Eastenders.

You are well rid of him and your son does not need people like that around him.

Work out how much money you will be short when he leaves due to bills being owed. Demand that money from him. Tell him just because he is a spineless twat he doesn't get to ruin your Christmas by leaving you short.

So he wants to get back with an ex who his family hate, whose relationship was on and off, who had an affair and was living with the OM. His ex sounds like she wants to split with her boyfriend and has found someone readily available to cover the gap before she finds someone better. It sounds like she doesn't like being alone. I wish your ex good luck with her. Its doomed from the start. Let the loser fall on his arse. Just walk away.

@TheWickerWoman Hilarious! 😆

Hi Carot. Been reading since yesterday. Can't believe someone would behave the way this guy Has!! He is spineless and not the type of person you want a relationship with. Continue to stay strong. Sending a virtual hug your way !!

You may not feel strong right now carrot but I take my hat off to you, I think you’re awesome!
He’s shown his true colours and I suspect the reality check will kick in soon and hard, especially given the reaction of his family.
You absolutely will survive this because you have come through hard times before, this is just the really crap, hurting stage but I think it will pass very quickly and you’ll be relieved you can see him for exactly what he is - spineless, weak and pathetic.
🍷🍷

I had a friend whose H was downstairs on Boxing day doing something diy except he wasn't, he'd left. They'd been married for twenty odd years, their two teenage boys were pottering about and they were all just about to have lunch. There had been no cross words, the table was set, the Christmas tree was still up. He never came back and they never spoke again. He disappeared for a few months before there was contact through a solicitor about a divorce. He never saw the boys again until years later. Of course by there was a 'new' woman. I don't think my friend ever got over the utter shock
I wonder if your douche bag's ex is on here? Would she recognise herself I wonder?

OP you are amazing
Truly amazing
Always remember that..

Better to find out sooner rather than later & before marriage & poss kids.

Tattoo though

Here is your 🤗 (((((((hug))))))). 🐶And another(((((((hug))))))) from my dog.🐶..I've not posted ,but I followed,and I'm thinking of you x you've time to gather yourself before Xmas 🎄x bloody good riddance to him.you can and will do better .xxx 💐🌻🌹🥀🌸🌷🌈☃️

There is a great satisfaction in imagining the future scene which will DEFINITELY take place, at some point when he's bemoaning yet another drama llama event/breakup/her shitting on him and his brother replies 'Well it's your own bloody fault, you were a fool not to stay with Carrot, best thing that ever happened to you, oh, me and SIL do miss her... she and her boy were such a great addition to the family...'

You said he tells his brother everything. Bet he's going to find from now on that he's probably stuffed that up in some ways too.

I just want to say how I smiled when I read about the tattoo.
You and your son rock.

Never getting to say goodbye, that's awful too. More like good riddance in this case. Bloody well done girl, you have handled this like a fuckin lady with dignity and class. Something a lot of us probably couldn't do. Round of applause to you and your wonderful son.

Whenever you're having a wobble, and there will be many, try to smile and think of her face when she sees his tattoo of your name. And his face, as the penny finally drops at what a big mistake he's made. for you and for your new trainer wearing DS!

Like you say, thank god this happened 6 months in and not later. What a prick.

And I know this has probably been shoved down your throat enough but please take your time getting to know someone before moving in with them next time. Minimum a yeAr. I’ll shut up now.

Really appreciate your dignity in all of this OP. Knowing that you were refined and and acting like you aren't bothered will really eat away at him when he's left alone.

Followed this from the start. I’m sorry for the way this has turned out Carrot. You must feel numb. It’s early days but I’m sure you will look back and think you’ve had a lucky escape. He’s such a spineless coward ( could say much worse) When things go tits up for him he will come grovelling back. Look forward to the new year. You will be fine. Your son sounds lovely and you seem like a very strong lady. You have been so dignified. Good luck. X