The man who disappeared part 2

[Carrotgirl999]

Sorry, I don't know if I need a new thread, as it will probably be me just wallowing / getting angry / getting sad. But thought I'd better anyways

At least I can tell you all when his stuffs gone and the chapter is completely closed.

I am so fucking shocked by all this I truly am. And il have to sit my son down tonight and tell him.

Cowardly cowardly bastard.

Carrotgirl New job sounds fun, wish I was close enough to sample the atmosphere Good luck for the future!

Burgers & Cocktails OP? I'll give you a wave on my way to Snowzone 👋🏽 X

Please do ask your son to block his number. I do not like the idea of this stupid man having access to your son.

lakeg
I agree. I said so much upthread. I think blocking his number is a very good idea.

Carrotgirl999, don't forget that the best revenge is to live well. Do nice things for yourself and show everyone (so it gets back to him) that when he left, your life got better.

Glad I was helpful, OP, and glad to hear about the new job. I think it's all going to go very well for you. And whatever happens, at least you know how to buy knickers. Apparently that's beyond the wit of some people....

That's the one euphoria :)

I woke up feeling awful this morning. Slept in my sons bed with him

But after half hour Iv given my head a shake.

Just reading this thread has been enough to do that.

I honestly honestly can't thank you all enough, again, even for the harsh words, I need to hear those too.

Writing here kept me sane, kept me busy, and if a thousand plus people are all telling me I deserve better it makes it a lot easier to believe x

Yet another member of Carrots fan club here! Read both threads feeling every emotion, so can only imagine how you're feeling.

Night times are the worst I find when you're going through any trauma, so glad you have your lovely boy to concentrate on & good family support.

The spineless fucker deserves all he has coming to him, as my mam said "you'll see the day of him" - don't think it will be long coming either.

Enjoy your pub job, I used to love this time of year working in pubs - it is a social life. Have a lovely Christmas & love & best wishes for a fantastic 2018, you so deserve it!

Awww Carrot - you're doing fine. It's ok to feel up and down. Keep listing as long as it helps.

brie I'm aware of that! We actually wanted the landlord to change them for us so they would maintain the master key and blank, albeit at our full expense (after a vaguely similar situation to the OP's, actually, in which an ex resident had a set) and was told that wouldn't be happening and we were under no circumstances to get our own locksmith in. I personally would have thought they would rather have a secure property considering we were going to pay, but hey, up to them...

I just didn't want people berating the OP for not getting her locks changed - disregarding the considerable outlay, you honestly just can't do that in a rental

Carrot you’re bound to have low points. Only natural, you’re not a fucking robot....you’re brain will be all over the place BUT YOURE BLOODY ACE. I wish you were my friend as you’ve totally got your head screwed on and speak loads of sense. I hate people who beg/make do/settle with a total cock etc. You’re not one of them and why the fuck should you! ?
You’re doing so well x all of us on here agree! X

And again. We know he is an absolute coward. He isn't going to be rocking up to face me, not a chance of that. He will post the keys, no doubt. He might drag his heels, but I won't chase him either.

I'm in a situation with many parallels and reading your updates has really spurred me on. You are one strong woman Carrot! I am going to be willing you (and myself!) on.

Oz. I wouldn't wish this on anyone, I really wouldn't, and I hope soon I'm in a position to be able to help others.

One thing I can say, is take your time, don't react on instinct, and remember that you can't control the actions and thoughts of others, only yourself.

I wish you the best of luck with whatever you're going through and if you need to vent here with me feel free xxx

Chin up carrot you're doing really well!

My first husband did a similar thing to me (vanished, sodded of with another woman). I left. Three months later he's on the phone to my mum (because he couldn't contact me) wailing "She's the only woman I ever loved. I want her back, I made a dreadful mistake etc etc" My lovely mum told him where to go. TEE HEE!

I'm North Yorkshire, Carrot.

Happy to help in anyway I can x

I've got so much admiration. Instead of wallowing which to be fair you deserved to do you got yourself up in a record time, git the second job etc. He truley has fucked up leaving you. But it has done you a massive favour. You also took any criticism which I didn't do on the chin. Welldone op xx

Katy, my drive here is my want for him to regret his decision. When someone is begging and crying it's easier to write them off as a 'crazy ex' or emotionally challenging.

He will know I'm hurt, yet he will know I'm a strong, and capable woman who doesn't blackmail, or manipulate or scream and shout. And he. Will. Regret. This.

THAT is keeping me going more than anything else, and shaping all my decisions.

Carrot you owned this awful situation and I have the highest admiration

I followed your other thread and just spent a good half hour neglecting the kids catching up!
You're doing really damn well, props to you and to your son. I'm in Leeds OP will PM x

Hope you're doing ok. and please please let us know when it all falls apart with OW!

He will know I'm hurt, yet he will know I'm a strong, and capable woman who doesn't blackmail, or manipulate or scream and shout. And he. Will. Regret. This.

As a previous poster wrote, revenge is a life lived well. So, go and live it, and he'll definitely regret it

I can't really see his new/old relationship lasting into the new year. The ex sounds like a silly child who didn't want her toy until she found another kid playing with it. She's clearly unhinged, she's a cheat, he's thick, they have a place to live that's too small, his family hate her, he has no job or money and I very much doubt she will support him, neither seems to have any idea on how to be in a healthy relationship.

You however are strong, have a lovely flat, a well adjusted and supportive son, lots of support and already a fun new job!

He will absolutely regret this, he will come grovelling back and you can laugh in his face as you tell him how far you have come already.

Delurking after finally reading through both threads to say well done Carrot you couldn't have held yourself better and with so much dignity.

Let her live with the fear that he could walk out on her any day if she puts a foot wrong.

Let her live with the fact that every time he's undressed there is the tattoo of your name just to drive another steak.

Let her wonder where he is and if he's coming back if his battery runs out or he misses his train.

I've no doubt that in a screwed up toxic relationship like this she will try for a bonding baby or accidentally get pregnant as a way of keeping him. Then have to live with the fear he could abandon her and a child any day.

What a way to live a life eh?

I pity her poor kids, I really do.

Hold your head up high kiddo and live the best life you can.

I'm a single mum with a 12 year old and your son sounds just like my darling boy. Sometimes I feel terrible guilt for the adult way he's had to grow up so quickly and be a man in shitty situations with my ex.. But also I'm damned proud of my mature little guy that sees a strong capable woman and for sure will never grow up to treat women like his dad or the cowardly twunt your ex is.

In fact I make it my mission in life to nurture a respectful, decent and caring young man who treats people kindly and with care.

I wish you and him the best Christmas ever and a happy successful future.

Use that job money to go on that holiday and have an amazing time together.

Stake...not steak.