The man who disappeared part 2

[Carrotgirl999]

Sorry, I don't know if I need a new thread, as it will probably be me just wallowing / getting angry / getting sad. But thought I'd better anyways

At least I can tell you all when his stuffs gone and the chapter is completely closed.

I am so fucking shocked by all this I truly am. And il have to sit my son down tonight and tell him.

Cowardly cowardly bastard.

I'm sorry OP, after your updates I'm actually laughing. Not because of the shock and trauma you're going through, but because we've got a grown ass man of 32 fucking years old who has no money, no spine and soon no job, is worried about his pants because he can't work out how to buy underwear on a weekday to see him through a weekend, and he's fucked his entire life up to shack up with a woman who's lost custody of a child, who he thinks is a terrible parent, is embroiled in drugs, didn't want him until she heard he was living wth someone else, and he tells you he knows it's a mistake even as he shuffles out.

Two star crossed lovers in a tale of grand passion conquering all? I. Think. Not.

Thank God and all his angels that you're rid of this utter fleshwaste. He is worse than useless. He is not a man. He is actually a joke. I'm just sorry that by the time he realises the enormous cock up he's made, you won't get the full pleasure of it because you simply won't give a shit.

I can relate to you where you are in many, many ways.

You rock. Keep this going. Head high. You are owning this. Don't let that change.

he's even said he knows it's a mistake,
and he didn't have the wits to say to himself "I see a mistake looming on the horizon. I'll just not do that."

LoverOfCake makes good points about the keys. That would be another way for you to be in control, OP.
If you organise a new key for the postbox plus new lock and key, to actually use, on your flat then it won't matter what he does with the old keys and you won't have to contact him or anyone else, if they don't turn up.

(Don't rely on his guilt making him send them. It didn't make him bring them today, did it.)

All the best with the job, also.

PoorYorick you had me laughing with your summary ... it is spot on

OP I hope tonight has been fun. You're an amazing inspiration for how to deal with shit. I wish I was near WY as I'd certainly drink, swear and moan and laugh happily with you

It's exactly what's happened! I'm just amazed that a man who can wibble on about his pants without figuring out how to buy a few new pairs can even recognise that he's making a mistake, even one of such monumental proportions as this. He admits OW is a terrible parent, her personal life is a train wreck and she didn't care about him until she heard about OP. In whose deranged mind is this a tale of love conquering all?

How does this dimwit manage to clean his teeth without poking his eye out? How has he not been eaten? How stupid does someone have to be before it becomes wrong to make fun of them?

I believe him when he says he hasn't been happy because he's just too bloody thick for it to be possible. The only way he could be happy is by sitting on a beanbag while dribbling, gurning, wearing a beanie hat, waving a flag and watching Channel 5.

Yorick. You are a legend. Utter legend. I will reread your posts until I am blue in the face laughing.

I have just returned from my trial shift... and been offered a job! Around my normal working hours, with times to suit me and my son.

And most importantly I HAD FUN! Actually laughed! They had a live band on, the atmosphere was alive, and I am so so pleased for myself.

My phone was away for hours and that felt really very good too.

I picked my son up, he said the twat had messaged saying 'are you ok' and my lad said he replied saying 'what do you think.'. And I'm kinda smug about that, he won't be relieving his guilt either without any influence from me.

I feel ok, I really do. Keep getting fleetings of 'oh my god he's with her' and then just, stopping myself. I think il be ok I do.

And if I ever get the grovelling mistake message, il be sure to let you all know.

If any of you west Yorkshire folk ever frequent the -shall we say, big purple skiing place near the motorway- just look out for the fumbling bartender taking forever to pour drinks and say hello :) xx

Are you in the actual ski slope bar place? That's a cool place to work!!

Close... but no, think cocktail bar x

I’m SO pleased you enjoyed yourself tonight OP! X

I want to come and buy a drink from you Op. stupid idiot man. And tell your son from all of us that we think he's awesome x

Also, just to add, lover, I will NOT be taking him back.

He's too much of a coward to show up anyway. And if a week passes without the keys, il speak to my agents about a new postbox key, my son and I can share his set now that I know to plan each day who's first in and out, until I get a second set cut. I'm not going to message him and ask if he's posted them.

For someone who was too scared to even say I'm unhappy I'm leaving, he will certainly not have the back bone to travel all the way here to sit in my flat and try and talk me round. Most il ever get is a self pitying, arsehole text message which is worth less than fuck all to me.

Do they sell Burgers also?? If so you will definitely see me at some point soon! 🍔🍸

Florene.... yes they do ...
Make sure you say hello. I'm the new girl, you'll know it's me I'm sure, I look like I don't know what I'm doing

Well done for being strong today @Carrotgirl999

Some of my favourite memories are from when I worked in a bar. It's a paid social life, and it's one that doesn't come with a hangover! I hope you enjoy it there.

It must be busy there ,lots of people so good distraction! We might pop in tomorrow!

Re the keys - it's honestly not as simple as just getting a new set cut in lots of rental properties. My keys are a 'specialist' set that require some kind of blank to get a new set cut... a regular retailer can't do it for me. A new single key costs £40 from the landlord and takes about three weeks to process (can also only be acquired by claiming you lost old one, not just that you want another set)

We also brought up changing the lock with our landlord and they said that to do so would be a breach of contract and they'd sue if we did... so that was nice

@Carrotgirl999 I'm in Leeds and I made darn good coffee if I do say so myself!! 😃 Just shout x

Congrats on our new job!

Onwards and upwards. xx

Mini I'm in Harrogate :)

Op- you are amazing and strong.

I don't mean to deflate or be negative- but I really think you should either send ex a message to say- please stop texting my son or get your ds to block him. It's not okay to spew emotionally heavy shit onto your 12yo son. And the texts ex is sending are just that. If he wants to carry on drama and send text to help him feel that he's the good guy- to you, fine. To a child? That he's deserted? Who will be witnessing the hurt he's caused his mother(even when hiding hurt it shows)? That's not okay.

That's awful. He needs to be told NOT to contact the child involved here. You are his parent and can help him through the disappointment this dick has caused. The dick has no right to position himself as "good guy" or anything else. He needs to back the F off your son!

If I were wearing a hat I would lift it to you Carrot, you have dealt with all of his bullshit in an unbelievably dignified way. Congratulations on the new job, onward and upward.

I agree that he needs to stop texting your son.
I also agree that him leaving the keys behind was quite possibly a deliberate ploy to leave him with an excuse to continue contact with you.
If he doesn't send the keys back within a week, tell him that you'll be asking the bouncer of the cocktail bar (they might have one )to go round to his GF's place to retrieve them.
Make it abundantly clear that those keys are coming back to you - you should not have to wear the quite considerable cost of getting new ones.
And make it equally clear that you will not be looking for any continuation of contact of ANY kind with him. He's gone, he's made his choice, he can fuck off to the far side of fuck and stay there.

Ask your son to block his number if possible - he is old enough to make a choice about it, but he shouldn't HAVE to - your ex should understand it's not appropriate to continue contact with him, and since he appears to have failed in that aspect already, blocking him would be the next step. (OK yes, you could ask him to stop but that = contact, doesn't it)

carrot I’m jealous of your new job it sounds brilliant! Just remember how much happier and more secure your and your ds’s lives will be than the life he has chosen. Screaming and rowing and electric always running out on the meter and probably syphilis from all her other blokes..

Just as an aside - cosmo it’s hardly surprising you can’t change the locks on a property you don’t own! You obviously would intend to hand over a key but what if you decided not to?!

OP I hope he posts the keys stat and you can really start to cut those mental ties.

OP I used to live in that area of West Yorkshire too 😃 but I won't be able to come and say hello because I live in Western Australia now. I'm so glad things are looking up for you