Frustrationqueen's frustrations

[Frustrationqueen]

I think i sorted the other thread.

I think the message has hit them now.
Another knock on the door. The dm with gifts from her ds.
Apparently our conversation yesterday made her believe he just needed to make more of an effort.
I turned down the gifts and put her straight.
She got a bit snappy with me, which was a big change from her usual lovely self.

You haven't, FQ. They are not emotionally healthy, and you are right to want to distance yourself from them.

I hope you're ok. This can't be easy.

Sorry, FQ. I missed your last when I posted. I think you're seeing her true colours now. Well done on setting her straight.

I would send them both a text now asking them not to contact you again. It might well come in useful along the line if you can prove that you told them this.

She has text saying i have led him on now, so future contact will be through a solicitor (obviously we wont get to that point).
I have replied saying i would appreciate it if they would stop contacting me.

How i have led him on when i have blocked all contact from him and refused to speak to him.
I did tell her yesterday he blew his final chance but clearly she was only hearing what she wanted to hear.

Im all stressed to bits now wondering if perhaps i have given the message across that there was a chance.

Then ive looked back through all of the contact and all i have said is no no no no no with mummy dearest pestering for me to change my mind.

I cant change what people think. The problem is,she has heard what she wanted yesterday and filled her son with false hope. Now shes feeling guilty as shit and im the one getting it in the neck.

Im just praying this doesnt turn nasty as i know she can be a nasty piece of work! I can give as good as i get, but i really cant be bothered. I would much prefer just getting on with my life

There no such thing as "leading him on!" Any solicitor will tell her to get lost.

Just block them and talk to the police if they continue to harass you.

Good luck, there are many people here hoping you have a good life and that does not include him and his batshit family.

I think youre right on the solicitor thing as i wouldnt play games with a child. I would never get in the way of contact. I like to think i am a reasonable person and i cant see a solicitor getting involved when there is no fight there.

The sooner all of this is over the better.
Thank you

I actually find this horrifying. What is wrong with them?

OP - whatever you have decided (which is none of our business) you need to stay safe from these harassers. Personally I'd be reporting them to the police and keeping a diary of all of the contact. They sound potentially dangerous. They've proven themselves untrustworthy already.

Be vigilant OP.

Of course you haven't led him on. Of course he may have told his Mum something totally different - he wasn't exactly honest with you. But I think she is just hearing what she wants to hear.the whole thing sounds totally batshit with his Mum trying to organise his relationships for him. You have been clear that it is over.

Be very glad that you won't have to deal with them for the next 18 years!

When he was at my door earlier and i then received a text from his dm asking me to please consider speaking to him. My response was exactly this:
No. I am tired of the talks. Nothing happens. We spoke the day he decided to vanish and ignore me. That was the final chance. He threw it away. Im done.

That is from today. After lastnights talk where she feels i have led him on. She ignored that text and got snappy with me saying the same thing in person.
I think its fairly clear what i am saying!

moany i am going to be vigilant as i too feel they are potentially dangerous. The mother anyway.

It definitely is all batshit and i am so thankful i dont need to put up with this for 18 years.

What exactly are they going to get a solicitor for?

I think this must be the evidence you needed now that you are making the right choice x

Because she feels she cant talk to me anymore snowglitter.
What she means to say is "you are not backing down and giving me and ds what we want so i will threaten you so that you will"
Only i wont

Definitely the evidence i needed. Withouf a doubt!

No I get that, but can you imagine the look on the solicitors face?

"Excuse Ms Solicitor. My son's girlfriend has broken up with him and I want them to get back together but she won't. She keeps asking us not to contact her again and no matter how many times we do, she won't listen to me or give him another chance. I'm outraged and I want you to make her talk to him."

😂 i would love to be a fly on the wall for that!
Its sad that her behaviour suggests that is something she would actually do haha

Surely the solicitor threat was with regards to potential access for your ex with your child?

It was, yes. Just making light of the stress
Even still the solicitor would be pretty much useless as i would be all for contact, not against.

Sorry, I hate it when people throw out the "you'll be hearing from my solicitor" threat.

99% it is for the silliest of reasons and as the lady seems bonkers, I wouldn't put it past her.

PS: I was once threatened with legal action because of some sold out tubs of doublecream when I worked in a shop.

It seems that she's the one desperate to see the two of you back together, and she's the one causing all the trouble.

Don't have anything to do with either of them from now on. Refuse to engage. Ignore all texts and calls. If you see them on the street walk in the other direction. Just don't talk to them at all.

This stress is the last thing you need. I do hope it all settles down soon.

I agree with Rise.

Chances are the Fabulous Prince Charming probably doesn't even know or care that mummy is threatening legal action. I imagine it's not something the adults like to talk about in front of him.

Haha wow double cream must have been her life.

I will just walk past them in the street if i see them. Ill do my best to avoid but if at any point i do cross paths, i will do so as if they are not even there.

When her son gave me that threat i told him how it brought fear onto me and doubts around the pregnancy. I told her this at the time, too.
She has either said it out of anger. Said it to scare me or said it to try and strengthen my doubts to break ties for her son completely without saying those words.

hang on in there, they will be s distant memory soon enough.

Yep. Thank you randommess the sooner the better

Hi OP, was following your earlier thread and just catching up with this.

Am very cross on your behalf. You have in no way been 'leading him on'. His mother is living in cloud cuckoo land, and sounds in as much denial as he is.

Hope they do now leave you in peace. You just get on with the rest of your life and be happy.

You really need to stop conversing or engaging with them. Texts go unanswered, keep notes as evidence, if they turn up at your door, don't open it. If they approach you the only thing you say if you must is 'Its over'. If anything happens tomorrow go to the police. This is the most bizarre thread I've read.Stop wasting another thought on them and concentrate on yourself

Just my 2 pence and I say this as a MiL. Now, my DS1 is a lovely man, independent and not a problem at all. But when he married there was a feeling that I was 'handing him over' to my lovely DiL, as if I was relinquishing any 'worry' about him to her. Silly, really, but there you are.

His mother wants you to take him back because it takes him off her hands and she can then relax and stop 'taking care' of him. She will expect any 'woman in his life' to take responsibility for him. In her case because of his problems, she is doubly anxious to have someone else to take responsibility for him and his problems.

You're well out of it. Ignore them. Block them. But please don't rule out complaining to the police if they keep harassing you. If nothing else, they might send an officer around to have a 'friendly chat' and maybe that will put the fear of God into them.