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Relationships

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Think he's left me and not told me?!

999 replies

Carrotgirl999 · 06/12/2017 13:51

Ok sorry, this might be long.

Been with partner around 6 months, just moved in together. Things have been fantastic until this weekend, when his ex got in touch and it threw him, they had a messy break up around a year ago and we're engaged, after 8 years together. She's basically begging for him back.

He told me honestly about their conversation, that he needed closure, felt strong when replying knowing he had a good life now with me.

Although he's been quieter since Saturday he assured me no reason to worry.

This morning I went to work, but had a gut instinct something wasn't right (randomly changed his WhatsApp pic from us to one of him) and my messages weren't delivering. I tried to call, no answer. I txt him to say I was going home early, when I called again he answered, said 'for fuck sake, ok hope you feel better soon.'

Got home an hour later, to be locked out (live in flats with communal entrance) his phone switched off and nowhere to be seen.

I got a neighbour to let me in, he isn't answering his phone, not receiving any messages, has basically vanished. All his things are here.

His smart new clothes he bought the other day have had the tags taken off and left so he's obviously wearing them. But no coat.

I'm thinking the worst. That he's left for good. Maybe being paranoid, but this is all VERY out of character. Never not been able to get hold of him before.

In the interest of not stop feeding, he left his ex one day taking nothing, just walking out, when he heard she had cheated. So he's capable of leaving things behind without second thought. He didn't tell me on the phone he was out but it looks as tho he waited for me to leave for work, got changed and went. Told me he had no plans, what he's making for tea, he was gunna do housework today, blah blah.

Someone talk some sense into me as my instincts are saying the worst has happened and he's gone back to her without so much as a backwards glance. :(

OP posts:
squiddled · 06/12/2017 21:39

For the love of god OP please do not fall for this...

OnionKnight · 06/12/2017 21:39

Ah, it's bullshit.

Tell him to fuck off.

Carrotgirl999 · 06/12/2017 21:39

I don't know whether I'm relieved, fucking angry or plain insulted he thinks that's all ok. God what a rollercoaster.

OP posts:
Ginslinger · 06/12/2017 21:40

I can't see the picture

MrTurtleLikesKisses · 06/12/2017 21:40

Seems like a very sad but very plausible explanation except for the new clothes. Strange. If it's true, he is obviously in a very bad place, but he shouldn't have done this to you. Thanks

coffeeX10 · 06/12/2017 21:40

You sound really nice, he is a total ass. You will find someone so much better Flowers

DearMrDilkington · 06/12/2017 21:40

Oh no, I'm sorry. Flowers

MyDarlingWhatIfYouFly · 06/12/2017 21:40

Not sure I'd believe this unless you can verify with his mum that he's been there since this morning. If you still care enough about where he's been, that is.

tinygirlsmum · 06/12/2017 21:40

Don't tell him anything for now. Ignore like he ignored you for hours! Your head is fucked too - it's fine for him to use that excuse. Sleep on it

Doje · 06/12/2017 21:40

and it took him till 9.30pm to tell you?! I'd kick him out just for that.

elmo1980 · 06/12/2017 21:40

What do YOU think of his msg op? Hope you're ok.

JonSnowsHair · 06/12/2017 21:40

He is pathetic, tell him to not bother coming back at all. He can stay at his mums indefinitely.

PeppaPigBaconButty · 06/12/2017 21:40

Wouldn't his brother or SIL know he was at his mums though?

MrsMozart · 06/12/2017 21:41

What a shit.

I know it hurts like hell lass, but so much better now than x time down the line.

Jellybean85 · 06/12/2017 21:41

Yea why the new clothes? And why didn't his family know!! Don't fall for this. I've been there, it will make him think this is an acceptable way to treat you

helpmum2003 · 06/12/2017 21:41

I'm so sorry Carrot.

I agree don't reply and get the locks changed first thing.

It's not a (very) believable explanation and it's come too

FrogFairy · 06/12/2017 21:41

Nope. Liar liar pants on fire.

His mum would have been in contact with the twin checking how surgery went so he would have known he was there.

ariellarose · 06/12/2017 21:41

He's such a coward.

I had a minor argument with an ex and he left me and sent a very similar message before coming back saying he realised his mistake etc a few days later. I took him back and he did it again.

If he's having some kind of breakdown why the fancy new clothes.

I really feel for you, he's treated you appallingly.

meyourelookingfor · 06/12/2017 21:41

This screams disrespect more than anything. Dump his sorry arse. He also knows you have a son.

What a drama queen, him not you! When he says he wants to return you can tell him you need a few nights to think about things. How rude.

Tiredmumno1 · 06/12/2017 21:41

Although I am inclined to agree with tinygirlsmum, make him wait.

Babyblues052 · 06/12/2017 21:42

He's not just fucking you about, there's a child involved he's fucking him about too. What a selfish prick. I'd have his bags packed and at the door. Bellend that he is.

butterfly56 · 06/12/2017 21:42

Really sorry Carrotgirl he's an absolute arsehole.

Tell his sister in law you want your keys back tomorrow and they can pick up his stuff for him.
Don't give him the chance to blame you for this Flowers

JaneEyre70 · 06/12/2017 21:42

Oh lovey, what a *anker he is. That's unspeakably cruel to have done to you. I wouldn't respond, and take your time before contacting him.

GoddessInTraining · 06/12/2017 21:42

What a complete thundercunt. God, I’m sorry though OP, huge hugs for you.

Mix56 · 06/12/2017 21:42

So he sat as his Mums all this time, knowing you were on your own. waiting & wondering
I doubt it. he went to see her this morning in his Sunday clothes. then it all went to shit, he may not know where he stands or how he feels, but his callousness is horrific