Think he's left me and not told me?!

[Carrotgirl999]

Ok sorry, this might be long.

Been with partner around 6 months, just moved in together. Things have been fantastic until this weekend, when his ex got in touch and it threw him, they had a messy break up around a year ago and we're engaged, after 8 years together. She's basically begging for him back.

He told me honestly about their conversation, that he needed closure, felt strong when replying knowing he had a good life now with me.

Although he's been quieter since Saturday he assured me no reason to worry.

This morning I went to work, but had a gut instinct something wasn't right (randomly changed his WhatsApp pic from us to one of him) and my messages weren't delivering. I tried to call, no answer. I txt him to say I was going home early, when I called again he answered, said 'for fuck sake, ok hope you feel better soon.'

Got home an hour later, to be locked out (live in flats with communal entrance) his phone switched off and nowhere to be seen.

I got a neighbour to let me in, he isn't answering his phone, not receiving any messages, has basically vanished. All his things are here.

His smart new clothes he bought the other day have had the tags taken off and left so he's obviously wearing them. But no coat.

I'm thinking the worst. That he's left for good. Maybe being paranoid, but this is all VERY out of character. Never not been able to get hold of him before.

In the interest of not stop feeding, he left his ex one day taking nothing, just walking out, when he heard she had cheated. So he's capable of leaving things behind without second thought. He didn't tell me on the phone he was out but it looks as tho he waited for me to leave for work, got changed and went. Told me he had no plans, what he's making for tea, he was gunna do housework today, blah blah.

Someone talk some sense into me as my instincts are saying the worst has happened and he's gone back to her without so much as a backwards glance. :(

Also, placemarking doesn't bother me one bit.

Iv had so much support here I'm really thankful, and I know myself when you want to know an outcome. Iv known to get emotionally involved with posts myself from time to time, so I don't care about that. Bigger things to worry about, unfortunately x

OP my ex did this to me when I was 5 months pregnant. It was the longest night of my life so I know exactly what you're feeling.

I hope he shows up soon with a reasonable explanation.

I hope you find out what on earth is going on soon. Another hand to hold here for you

Tomorrow I'm going to let myself cry. Sit in a dark room, and feel sorry for myself.
Don't do that until after you've got the lock changed.... just in case he tries to come back and get his stuff when he thinks you're out at work..... you really don't want him walking in on you under those circumstances.

I hope so too. But it's looking doubtful.

Calatonia. That's a very good point. Il put the chain on first!

There'll no doubt be someone on here throughout the night OP - it will no doubt be a long night but you've got lots of support here

I feel for you OP. There is no reasonable explanation.

Put the chain on the door, give your DS a hug, and then half a large glass of wine.

Plan the next steps on your terms

Just read through this post, hope you hear something soon, you just be going out of your mind! What a mean/inconsiderate thing to do to you! X

OP 😘
I only went off to serve up tea!!
His behaviour today has been beyond shitty. No excuse for it. I'm so sorry.

I've been thinking of you since my earlier post. I am so sorry that this is happening to you.

The lack of coat and passport was throwing me earlier, I'm really gutted to think you may have been right all along. If it is, you don't want to be with the spineless sh*t anyway. You and your son deserve better.

What a colossal arsehole.

I know a woman whose husband did this after 30 years of marriage- in fact I know 2 women.

One never heard from him again directly, all through lawyers. The other bastard surfaced in australia a few months after, facebooking his daughters (in their 20s) with pictures of him and his new life.

What is wrong with people?

I'm so sorry he has done this to you, OP. I can't imagine what you're going through. I second the wine suggestion!

Ok Carrot, I'll stand down then.

I personally wouldn't like it, I think it's crass and quite honestly, if posters have time to read the thread then they have time to post a or or whatever.

I'm glad you've felt supported and I hope that you do get a proper resolution to this so that you can move forward one way or the other.

If he hadn't told me about how he left her I wouldn't probably have thought about it so much until later in the day.

He said he left his passport and he had to reapply for it for ID when job hunting. So I know that no matter what he's left behind that means literally nothing.

Maybe he put his glad rags on to go down the pub and got too smashed/lost his phone.

I say this because a male work colleague told me that he went out for 1 pint on Friday after work and returned home at noon on Saturday. His last contact with his girlfriend was at 7pm because apparently he doesn’t do contact when he’s out. He went to a club, then to a house party and stayed at the party all night and into the morning. He hasn’t been dumped...

I went through a variation on this nightmare years ago. I am with you and holding your hand over here in France. You too will get through this.

The overriding feeling, I recall, was huge stupefaction.

I'm stunned that a grown up man thinks that it is acceptable to behave like this, he's a coward and I hope that one day it bites him on the arse.

Gosh, this is awful. I'm sorry OP, I hope at the very least you're able to rest tonight xx

Have you got 'find my phone' enabled or similar on his phone, ours are all linked to the family iPad because we lose them regularly

Bless your heart, OP. I'm so sorry you're going through this. Hope you're OK.

Obviously you know OP, but my DH doesn't always wear a coat. Also why would he leave the flat door open with all his stuff inside?

I have some diazepam left from a while back. Tempted to take one and get in bed see if I can sleep. Still waiting to hear back from his brother tho so might give it a little longer and see where I'm at x

Sadly I believe that you are probably right. Instincts are pretty good with this sort of thing. What a wanker.

The flat door is quite often left open, the building is relatively secure to strangers and has a bit of a 'community' feel so no one really worries about that. Which is good.