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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

My partner went out last night and is still not home!

478 replies

Georgie300 · 19/11/2017 09:34

My partner went out for a leaving do at 7pm and is still not home! I spoke to him at 1am and 2am when he said he was on his way home. He either hung up on me a 2am or his phone died and has been off ever since! We have been together 12 years and have 3 boys together the youngest of who is 4 months. We are very happy and get on really well but He used to do this every now and then in the early days and the late nights then turned into all night! This would always cause a massive arguement and it all came to a head a couple of years ago when he went ‘missing’ for 2 nights! I left him over it and he was so apologetic and agreed to all my conditions so we sorted things out and he hasn’t done it since... until last night.
I feel gutted but I know I have to act on it so it doesn’t all start again. Should I leave even tho it means dragging 3 kids with me? Or since he hasn’t done it in a long time am I overreacting? Not sure what to do 😩

OP posts:
MuseumOfCurry · 19/11/2017 17:34

Sorry, OP. Stay tough, you deserve better.

GrumpyOldBag · 19/11/2017 17:34

Hoping for a positive outcome for you OP.

Hooleywhipper · 19/11/2017 17:47

I really hope you are ok OP

Grapeeatingweirdo · 19/11/2017 17:47

Is he home OP? My ex did this so much (search my username, it is depressing reading). Hope you are OK. You deserve better than this.

Charolais · 19/11/2017 17:48

Do NOT leave your husband for this if he is a good man/father otherwise.

The damage you will do to his sons will be far greater than what he did to you last night. Keep the home fires burning and let him truly understand the stress he put you through last night.

brasty · 19/11/2017 17:49

Charolais His actions already show he is not a good man.

TheNewSchmoo · 19/11/2017 17:51

I'm sure she has made him truly understand the previous times. He doesn't care enough about the impact this has on her.

Cabininthewoods69 · 19/11/2017 17:53

Op is everything ok. Men can be so thoughtless at times then again i guess so can i

loopylou6 · 19/11/2017 17:54

Is he back?

EvieBlack · 19/11/2017 17:56

Ltb.

nakedscientist · 19/11/2017 17:56

Been lurking. Seeing hugs. I feel worried for you. Are the kids staying at Nanny's over night? Flowers

nakedscientist · 19/11/2017 17:57

SENDING hugs!

ParisGellar · 19/11/2017 18:00

I think it's reasonable to end it over this. He's not being a responsible parent especially with a small baby at home.

Lukeandlorelai4Ever · 19/11/2017 18:05

Hope all ok opFlowers

BarryTheKestrel · 19/11/2017 18:11

I hope he's back OP. Flowers

Gemini69 · 19/11/2017 18:13

I keep checking this Thread hoping he's turned up and everyone's ok .... it's very frightening for all concerned Flowers

Starlight2345 · 19/11/2017 18:14

I hope he is back for your peace of mind

OnTheRise · 19/11/2017 18:26

I do hope you're ok, OP. Your partner doesn't deserve you. You're good. And I hope that if he has turned up by now you've handed him his bag and sent him on his way. No decent man would treat you this way. It's really not on.

ChickenMom · 19/11/2017 18:29

Is he back yet OP? How awful. Let us know how it turned out

corythatwas · 19/11/2017 18:29

I hope those posters saying it's ok as long as he doesn't do it all the time would think it equally ok if it was a mother of 3 disappearing on a 2 day bender without notice and spending the children's money on drugs just before Christmas (or indeed at any time).

I seriously hope that if a man posted something similar about the mother of his children, they would be telling him to keep the home fires burning and explain that she was being considerate sleeping it off somewhere else.

And if they would not so respond, then I wish they'd come on here and explain their reasoning.

Perhaps with an additional explanation of what they think should happen if both parents decided to go on an unannounced bender at the same time.

Polkadot1974 · 19/11/2017 18:30

Really hope he’s back now and Op is ok too

Frouby · 19/11/2017 18:30

Hope he has turned up OP. Flowers

JoieDeFuckingVivre · 19/11/2017 18:31

Are you ok OP?

Rachie1986 · 19/11/2017 18:35

Has he turned up OP? Are you ok?

Dontknowwhattodonowok · 19/11/2017 18:36

Hoping DH has turned up and you’re not updating us because you’re giving him a roasting.

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