Hi Dior
Am keeping up to date with this too. Just don't post much as I'm not too great with the advice!
Your session sounds really positive last night. Excellent that your inital counsellor identified you may need more experienced help. And the counsellor last night being 'on your side', so to speak, is exactly what you need. (And he is spot on!)
I think it's great you want to go with H next week and let him have his say. I think that shows exactly how loving and caring you are.
Scared me a bit that the counsellor said to you if he offers you an individual appointment the following week it means he thinks your H cannot change enough to make the marriage viable. Can he really make this decision after just one session with your H? And isn't that a decision you and H should make together after a number of sessions?
Forgive me if I've got the wrong end of the stick. It's just that H and I are waiting for our first Relate appointment. Ours is very much to help with dealing with the marriage ending, it's probably gone way past saving anything. But I guess I hoped the counsellor would facilitate our discussions and help us express our feelings so that we make our own decisions. I'm scared that the counsellor may be so judgemental he says from the start that the marriage was a farce anyway! Not sure I could cope with that right now! IYSWIM!
Is it just that the counsellor can already see exactly how controlling your H is, and is experienced enough to know when things can be fixed or when people are fighting a losing battle?! Hope so.
xx