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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

An update on my 'To top off my crap year...' thread

999 replies

October · 17/04/2007 14:40

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OP posts:
TimeForMe · 29/06/2007 16:31

My ex h did this to me too. I am 5ft 10 and dieted down to 7st 10lb. I stood naked in front of him and asked him if i had lost enough weight. He squinted at me a bit then told me i needed to lose more weight from my hips.
That was 18 years ago and i still have issues with food and self image as a result of it all.

TimeForMe · 29/06/2007 16:32

And by the way, he was a big, fat ugly blob!

lou33 · 29/06/2007 16:42

yep, mine said to me one day that i was starting to look good as i had lost weight, paused then said i still needed to lose it from my tummy tho

i was size 8 and 8st

he otoh was a 15stone fat bellied fucker , oblivious to the fact he had gained loads of weight since we met

TimeForMe · 29/06/2007 16:49

I wonder why do we do it? Why do we feel the need to go to such extremes to please these men? We can't love ourselves or even like ourselves very much can we?

Men should come with a government health warning!

(mine was a 15st sumo lookalike with 3 chest hairs. God, he was awful, feel sick just thinking about him!)

lou33 · 29/06/2007 16:55

i didnt lose weight for him, i lost it because i got ill, that was just a side effect

he left me with many self confidence and insecurities, it's been a long road back , but i am getting there

lou33 · 29/06/2007 16:58

self confidence inad insecurity issues i meant, sorry was distracted

lou33 · 29/06/2007 18:00

also dior, he says he is prepared to do without sex, but what about you? it's like you dont have a say in this marriage

Dior · 29/06/2007 18:10

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lou33 · 29/06/2007 18:12

i really dont know what to say, i think he honestly doesnt see any of this as his responsibility

Dior · 29/06/2007 18:14

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lou33 · 29/06/2007 18:16

i dont blame you tbh, i think you are all tried out

i'd be the same

Dior · 29/06/2007 18:17

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lou33 · 29/06/2007 18:18

i think thats because it isnt what he wants you to say

he just doesnt want to hear your pov it seems

lou33 · 29/06/2007 18:19

btw i had a text from matt today

Dior · 29/06/2007 18:58

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lou33 · 29/06/2007 19:22

anytime, you know that

Dior · 30/06/2007 08:19

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lou33 · 30/06/2007 15:49

how are you now?

Fubsy · 30/06/2007 15:59

Hi Dior. How sad that H wouldnt go out when you had the opportunity.

So he can go without sex until you are thin - - why is that so easy for him? Or you can seduce him.

But have a nice evening out - nope.

Did you say you had doubts about his sexuality?

This could be a medical problem associated with stress or worse. He could be hiding his head in the sand until its too late. Use it or lose it as they say.

P used to think all problems would be solved if I just jumped on him. Never understood that I needed to be in the mood, and that may involve siome clearing of problems out of the way first.

Fubsy · 30/06/2007 16:00

And at Lou and TFM's exs' attitude to their weight.

lou33 · 30/06/2007 16:07

it ws only when we were splitting up that he finally acknowledged that his comments were hurtful

that was 4 yrs later

Dior · 30/06/2007 16:26

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Dior · 30/06/2007 16:36

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lou33 · 30/06/2007 17:24

why was it so important for you to put the disc int he car?

you sound v like myself and exh towards the end, when even the smallest things were just driving me crazy

lou33 · 30/06/2007 17:24

even the way he breathed and ate

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