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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

An update on my 'To top off my crap year...' thread

999 replies

October · 17/04/2007 14:40

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OP posts:
Dior · 21/06/2007 18:01

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Dior · 21/06/2007 18:01

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lou33 · 21/06/2007 20:15

i'm hoping the session is going ok

Fubsy · 21/06/2007 20:39

Me too

lou33 · 21/06/2007 21:01

do you think she will come online tonight?

Fubsy · 21/06/2007 22:22

Dior, hope youre ok

lou33 · 21/06/2007 22:45

bumping for dior

Fubsy · 21/06/2007 22:48

I know youre there Dior - spotted you on Lou's thread!

Hope youre ok

Dior · 21/06/2007 23:08

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lou33 · 21/06/2007 23:11

well done on going through with it dior, i know how draining it can be, but whatever happens you DO need to have it all out in the open, it's true

you cant move on until the issues that are important to both of you are out there for discussion

he is angry because he feels you slipping away, it's v normal, he doesnt know what to do, it is not something he is used to, not being in control

Dior · 21/06/2007 23:15

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Fubsy · 21/06/2007 23:16

Glad H went, even if it has put his nose out of joint. He wont like someone pointing out (however subtley ? sp) that he is not always in the right.

He must realise that if you have resentment and concerns, you need to talk about it before anything can happen? Oh no sorry, forgot he's a man, and "real" men dont need to talk, do they.

Sorry, slightly bitter there.

Counsellor sounds supportive though. Have you got another session booked?

Oh and the punch bag thing - surely in a really loving relationship (on both sides) that would be accepted as meaning that something needed to be worked on? Man or woman, you cant just pretend that your feelings arent there.

Hope you feel better tomeorrow.

Fubsy · 21/06/2007 23:19

Strange - why wont he go alone? Is he afrais he might have to look into himself?

or does he want you there so the counsellor can tell you not to be so silly and get on with it?

Not sure thats come out right, but I hope you know what i mean.

mummytosteven · 21/06/2007 23:21

yeah I am thinking along lines of Fubsy - that he was hoping that counsellor would agree it was all you being unreasonable, and so it was inevitable he would be peed off by it not going that way.

Dior · 21/06/2007 23:21

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Dior · 21/06/2007 23:23

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lou33 · 21/06/2007 23:25

you both have a right to be upset, you are facing possibly the end of your marriage

my exh used to do the i'm the adult and you are just overeacting thing as well

Fubsy · 21/06/2007 23:28

You know, we could all put up and shut up to keep our men sweet. But even if we didnt respect ourselves enough to want to be happy (and you do!) theres children to think of. Would you really be doing the best for DS if you gave up like that? It wouldnt work.

lou33 · 21/06/2007 23:29

i refuse to be a stepford wife

Dior · 21/06/2007 23:29

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Dior · 21/06/2007 23:30

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Fubsy · 21/06/2007 23:30

Lou's right. And in this situation, iyts going to be hard for you, and probably for him too, to know if its really you he wants to keep, or whether he is scared of the alternative without you.

Dior · 21/06/2007 23:33

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lou33 · 21/06/2007 23:33

or whether its about him deciding when it ends

Dior · 21/06/2007 23:35

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