Hi Dior, sorry I only drop in occasionally but my home computer broadband linkup is suddenly hopeless - think I need a new modem (whatever that is says Mrs Quill Pen Woman...) - so I have to catch up with you at work.
Yes, luckily we weren't the only under 70s at the party - it was at the 'birthday boy's' daughter's home so we had her, her dh & two lovely dds under the age of 10 - but it was the 70 year olds who were still going strong at 1am - the rest of us were dropping - hope I'm like that in 20 years' time .
Dior, sorry h is being a pain again - I really wondered why he has such a fetish about home cooking and housework - and then you said he lost his mother at 17. Amateur psychiatrist hat on now - do you think he subconsciously sees you as a mother-substitute? After all, he was still quite young when you met and probably still grieving for her. That would explain his striving after some sort of 1950s ideal of a happy family - perfect house, perfect food, perfect wife and child, with him, ultimately, at the centre. It might also explain his having gone off sex - subconsciously, maybe, it's because he thinks of you as 'Mother' rather than 'Lover' - and the weight issue is an excuse. Just a thought?
Having thought that, next step is to wonder whether he would be prepared to consider this - it sounds like he wouldn't, and to change. Might not be easy as it may be such a deeply ingrained pattern in his psyche, and of course, you may not want to be bothered with him any more, especially as you'll be wondering how long it is before he reverts to controlling, needy child mode.
Amateur hat off now - really glad you have a Relate appointment - you have lots to go over, with or without him - gosh - will an hour be enough?!