An update on my 'To top off my crap year...' thread

[October]

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Thanks Turquoise - did you delete the number? I deleted G's a few weeks ago and think it was definitely a good move.

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Not such a bad thing, to drift along for a bit. The Relate will be for the nitty gritty. At least if you do decide to separate, you will have a friendship to fall back on.

My weekend has been weird - DD found one of our cats dying on the lawn on Friday, when we were on our way out to the Devon County show.

Mad dash to the vets, who put him down straight away as he was obviously in agony. (Before anyone thinks Im callous, he has had a neurological problem for a while, which meant that he walked funny and couldnt climb or jump. The vet thought it was that got worse - he had gone rigid and was crying.)

We still went to the show, which helped DD as it took her mind of the cat. DP buried him while we were out, having got up my nose when he asked why I had brought him back! I wasnt going to have my cat incinerated with the rubbish! Then he phoned while we were out to say he was burying him, and got all choked up, so at least he's showing a bit of emotion.

Then took the car for a service yesterday, needs about £400 worth of work doing on it. Great.

Cant wait for next W/E - I need the rest!

i took ds2 to legoland, so now i am knackered

pushing a wheelchair uphill is a good cardiovascular workout!

the other kids were all off doing something so i didnt think it was fair on ds2 to just keep him at home

also meant to add exh has been in touch the last couple of days with some interesting emails, but i dont want to hijack this thread, i made my own one.

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Fubsy, I am SO sorry about your cat - I have two moggies, and dread anything like that happening. I'm so protective of them that when I saw one being chased by the neighbourhood bully cat the other morning, I chased it back up the garden in my dressing gown, wielding the potato peeler and screaming, 'I'll swing for you' (hope the neighbours weren't watching! ).

Thought I'd share with you my Nice Egoboosting Moment this weekend. Was applying for yet another Top Shop card (I collect them - get the 10% discount and never use them again ). The assistant asked for my date of birth & when I said, 1958, she looked at me in astonishment & said, 'You can't be THAT old?!' As she was young enough to be my daughter, it really made my day . Also, I LOVE TS's little floaty smock tops this year - DD and I keep buying them - her, because they make her look cute as any 15 year old can, and me because they cover my mummy tummy and if well cut, look quite slim! Recommended to all...

Dior, I agree with the others - you need that Relate appointment. Honestly, I wonder how many relationships actually break up because of the long waiting time for appointments? Mine did - actually, my ex said he hadn't heard from Relate - after he left, I found leaflets from them in his bureau. I guess he realised there wasn't any point in seeing them - we, like you, had become companions - no sex for 10 years but just friendship - so really, I'd lost that loving feeling and found it with dp - so visiting Relate couldn't have helped us even if we'd seen them instantly. TBH, I'd married my ex on the rebound anyway and was never passionately in love with him, but he was very kind, intelligent and the perfect gentleman (perhaps too perfect - put me on a pedestal and I could never imagine being rude or crude with him the way dp and I sometimes are!).

I think you may have to consider whether this is the way you want the rest of your life to be - as I think I've said before, there are bound to be men out there who will fancy you just as you are, with or without extra pounds mind AND body - and who will be happy and supportive of you when things are going well, not just when you're feeling low (as your h seems to do).

Glad to hear about your job though - well done you! Big pat on the back!

Thanks Tanee. H and I had a nice weekend, and he seemed to want to be with me last night (tempted me off MN with the offer of a coffee ). I just wish there was more between us. We had a nice weekend, but nice is not enough. I want someone I lust after too. Is that too much to ask after 19 years though?

I still really fancy G and I know that he has no designs on me whatsoever. He is polite and talks when he needs to but that is all. I hate feeling this way.

Lust..... remind me, whats that? Think id make a pretty good nun!

DD seems to have bounced back pretty well after the cat's death. There seems to have been a spate of pet deaths at school (a dog got run over by a car, a bird got eaten by a cat) so she's just joining in with the general discussion!

How's your DP Tanee? Has he got over his op yet?

Dior - can't keep up with your name changes!! Do you have a wardrobe of them? (Couture fashion only ?

Everyone needs a bit of lust. As the years pass, we must repeat 'I must, I must, I must improve my Lust'. Must admit it's tailed off a bit over the last three weeks, but DP's a lot better, thanks for asking, Fubsy. He's a bit afraid of looking at the scar (men are so squeamish!) - but it really looks fine - he may have to give up wearing that yellow polka dot bikini though . He's up to walking in the local park, where he goes to learn lines (if you see a person walking in the park talking and gesticulating to himself, it may not be the local looney - it might just be an actor!). Three weeks ago he could barely make it to the loo.

I do think absence makes the heart grow lustier though. I'm quite looking forward to DP going off to Norfolk for his summer job - he's always more passionate when we've been separated for a few days!

How's your week going Dior? Is H being nice?

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Well I suppose the 'upside' to your crap week is that it's bringing out the best side of your H ... Seriously, I'm sorry you're having a bad week - and it's horrid having a cold when it's hot outside - I always feel summer colds are the worst. We've got a fairly sick office at the moment. My MP boss went down with shingles a couple of weeks ago, and one of our new interns has just developed it. As I didn't get chickenpox at the age of 39 (it was a good year - chicken pox AND cancer!!) I'm hoping I'll be spared the shingles experience for a few years yet. I shouldn't really be on MN at all as it's only me and two interns in today, but I've hardly had time to MN lately and I miss my fix. Haven't seen Soupdragon's thread - need more time to catch up on everything.

I'll be thinking of your H next week - he'll be having his op exactly a month after DP's. Tell him he WILL need at least two weeks off but he'll probably feel pretty well ok by the 3rd week (see it as a chance to catch up on his reading or watch a lot of TV). He'll be able to go for little walks, but not too far at first. Dp didn't feel strong enough to do much walking or standing until the third week. He found that sometimes he thought he could do more (such as following me around the supermarket 3 days after his op, checking out the wine bargains) but then found he had pains and discomfort and had to lie down for a couple of hours. He got quite despondent after a week, thinking he'd pulled out the stitches by trying to do too much too soon, but it was actually ok. Also, he bled off and on for a good two weeks (my nurse friend said it was because they don't keep you in hospital for 10 days with a drain, as they used to). The blood isn't anything to worry about, as it's just left over from the op and the bruising (he will be VERY bruised and tender down there and also numb...) - but it does look bad sometimes - he'll need to keep a dressing on until it stops - and tight pants help - not loose boxers as they don't support the dressing and wound well.

Oh, and once it starts healing, it don't 'arf itch, and they can't scratch 'cos it's too tender !

Don't it make you glad that all we have to cope with is having babies .

Hope it all goes well, and feel free to email me if you need to compare notes.

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Hope H has a sedentary job then as he won't be feeling active! Each person's different though and he's probably a bit younger than my dp, so he may recover faster (wouldn't they just love to know we're discussing them like this ). It wasn't so much that dp was in pain (only took his painkillers twice) as that he was sore and stiff and black and blue and walked like an old man for a week. To give him credit, he didn't winge, but he was pretty scared beforehand (and not reassured by my Mum's tale of having it done to her under a local in 1942!) and one night had such a sharp pain that he was sure he'd split his stitches. (Being an embroiderer, I had a look and said I'd never seen such a neat seam [).

However, I'm sure your H will enjoy having you on grape-peeling duties . However, after 24 hours our hospital said it was ok to leave him alone - so I went back to work and to be honest, the carer day I took off to look after him, I spent most of it digging around in our new garden! He said he could have expired and I wouldn't have noticed until it got dark and I came in .

OK, MUST go home now. Catch up with you all later.

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maybe your marriage is ending dior, but g isnt the guy to rebound on

honestly i've heard he has a tiny peepee

I agree with Lou. G doesn't reliably make you feel better about yourself does he? And you don't need another man like that in your life.

dont forget the tiny pee pee!

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delete that number NOW!

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