how do you know when you have enough children

[lovemybed]

have 2 gorgeous dds just turned 5 and 3, love them to bits they are everything to me but im totally mixed up about having another,

have just started back at work which i am loving, enjoying being more independent, not having sleepless nights and its a lot easier to go away for a few nights with out worrying about feeds travel cots etc but there is a huge part of me that wants another one.

i suppose i might feel this way after having a 3rd though, so what i mean is how do you know when you are making the right choice not to have anymore, is it just normal for a woman to always want more children or do some people know when enough is enough.

Well I've got 1 and I'm not going to have any more. I said when I was pregnant with DS that if I'd known how easy it was I'd have had a houseful (had very easy pregnancy, no sickness, absolutely bloomed, please don't all hate me) but have subsequently realised that just because pregancy was easy and DS a lovely easy child doesn't necessarily mean I was born to parent. ~The frivolous reason for not having any more is that subsequent ones might be little beasts! Sensibel reasons are, of course, that I'm getting on a bit so it will soon be too late anyway, that while DS and his father have a good relationship (and DS dad and I get on fine though we're not a couple), there's no guarantee that anyone else would be as good a dad which could really mess things up for all concenred - oh, and I can't possibly afford to feed and clothe another one...
Still, I've got one and I think he'll do

You keep going until you are too old to have any more. That's what I have done

im onto no 3 [by mistake] and my two are 7 and 5 and although i didnt want anymore after my dd i had two miscarriages and then accidently fell preggers with no 3 and just couldnt go through with termination but was swinging widly between omg what i have i done to, itll be o.k although it took dh longer to come to terms with it especially as i will be 41 when its born, but the other day dh and i were talking and he very sweetly said i wish you could be pregnant for ever ..he loves it when i ,m pregnant and if hed had money would have had lots, then said if wed been younger when we started wed have lots of kids by now as i love being pregnant..thank god i sail through pregnancies and feel wonderful.. he calls me a baby making machine .not in a derogatory way but a loving way , which makes me think..damn i wish i had started younger to have more but then we wouldnt have travelled and lived our lives how we wanted to when we were younger...but i know that this will be the last one and i`m relishing every moment of being pregnant for the last time..boo hoo!!!!

Seriously (despite post below), I think you feel done when the 'head' bit of you outweighs the 'heart' bit of you. When DS2 was one we sat down and had a big discussion and wrote a list of pros and cons of having another.

We had a massive list of 'cons', but ultimately decided three little people running around the house was what we wanted, despite the impracticality of it. Now DS3 is here, we are absolutely sure it was the right thing to do but both of us know that another child really would be to the detriment to the other three and we must stop here.

Lovemybed - I know what you mean about the pictures. We had one photo back that was just begging for another little boy face in it. We now have the little boy face to fill it .

I thought I wanted 2 children when DH and I first discussed children, but after DS2 (who was unplanned ) I felt I may want another one - he didn't.

I then fell pg again (unplanned) which kind of made the decision for us - but this time I just know that this is it. My family will be complete when DS3 comes along in 7 weeks time and there'll be no more babies for me......even if DH suddenly changed his mind and wanted another I couldn't do it.

I am 35 weeks pregnant with my third. This is my last child.

I just knew after DS2 that our family wasn't complete and that we'd have another. That's all there was to it.

Similarly, I am absolutely certain that after this baby is born that I MOST DEFINITELY do NOT want anymore .

I never thought I'd stop wanting more children. We had 3 and always said we wanted 4 and after the 3rd we knew we'd have one more. I couldn't part with any of the cots etc. Now I'm on my 4th and to my surprise i feel that my family will be complete. I can think about selling on my stuff after this one's out of it and my mat. clothes etc. I'm q. relieved cos we wouldn't choose to have more than 4 and now I woun't feel sad at that thought of not being pg. again!

oo Dejags - didn't realise you are only 2 weeks ahead of me - ditto the feels about DEFINITELY NOT having any more - I can't do this pregnancy thing again......it's just too much.

and besides if I had a no.4 it may upset the 'balance' - going to have 3 DS's - with 3yrs between each child.........could end up with a girl if we had a 4th! !!!!

I have 2 - dd 3.6yrs & ds 5mths..and happy not to have anymore ! both pgs were rough 1st 3mths - horrendous sickness so thats put me off to be pg again !Im 35 and Dh 45, so if i did want another one , then 3rd baby would make dh like a grandfather ! So 2 is enough for me and very happy with it !..now gotta hint to dh to get a vasectomy...

When you run out of beds?

2 was enough for us although I still hankered after another. We got another (by mistake) and although he is lovely he has changed our lives so much that we would never in a million years want another.

Fanny - when is your EDD?

This pregnancy has been abysmal. It's just not the same when the needs of two older children preclude my need to luxuriate in being pregnant.

No long lie-ins. No lovely long baths on a whim.

More like - laundry, school run, work. I so yearn for the days I was pregnant first time round. It was so romantic

EDD is 05/06/07. This pregnancy hasn't been too bad (although working night shifts 3 (or even 4 or 5!) nights a week was pretty hard (finished 2 weeks ago). But I've just been feeling so heavy (I'm sure it's because I've not put on as much weight to 'cushion' the bump when I'm sitting/lying ) and have bruising under my right ribs (front and back) which hurts constantly now...

I've just had my third and was hankering for a third for 4 years. I feel now that we have enough children and couldn't cope with anymore. I would love another daughter but 3 DCs is enough and family is complete.

If you are wishing for another you may find that feeling just won't go away until you have one.

I felt that if I didn't go for a third I would always regret it...

We had the twins when we moved and briefly had one spare bed room.

Go for it, if there were too many you wouldn't want another.

ppb very good point

When you look at people that have one more than you do and think "God, how do they cope?"

..or when you look at your own and think "OMG I can't cope!"

I really really want another one now!

I always knew I wanted 3. DH was happy with 2. I knew I would always regret not having a third....so I did.
I have two sons, 5 and 3, and a daughter, 12 weeks.
I now feel complete.
You won't ever regret having another one.
But isn't it weird how it always seems to be the men who don't want anymore? Why is that do you think?

annie - yes it is wierd isn't it? - seeing as its us that do most of the childcare

maybe just because they don't have the maternal broodiness we experience?

interesting....

Aa7, I have two boys and would like another baby. Dh doesnt want another one now but he did a few months ago. I'm hoping the broodiness will go away for me as well!