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Relationships

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Original poster

how do you know when you have enough children

169 replies

lovemybed · 14/04/2007 22:00

have 2 gorgeous dds just turned 5 and 3, love them to bits they are everything to me but im totally mixed up about having another,

have just started back at work which i am loving, enjoying being more independent, not having sleepless nights and its a lot easier to go away for a few nights with out worrying about feeds travel cots etc but there is a huge part of me that wants another one.

i suppose i might feel this way after having a 3rd though, so what i mean is how do you know when you are making the right choice not to have anymore, is it just normal for a woman to always want more children or do some people know when enough is enough.

OP posts:

PeachyChocolateEClair · 15/04/2007 12:45

Ah you see we need an espace for mobility reasons anyway, thats not an issue LOL! 2 spare seats indeed.

mankyscotslass · 15/04/2007 12:51

I have 3, and emotionally i really want another one, but physically i know i would not be able to cope, and i would struggle. I have had 2 csecs, all 3 of mine have had prolonged jaundice and been in for at least 10 days after birth, and the last was prem and we were in hospital 1 1/2 weeks before birth and 2 1/2 weeks after. There is just no way i could put myself or my family though that. So although know i want another, I also know that wont happen. I am dealing with that now. I have to accept our family is complete.

AnnabelCaramel · 15/04/2007 12:52

If anyone wants to borrow a teething 6 month old for half an hour or so to help tip the balance apply here.....

PeachyChocolateEClair · 15/04/2007 13:07

LOL Annabel...

Original poster

lovemybed · 15/04/2007 13:45

londonmamma haha thats what i thought when i wrote the title, it sounds like i might just want to pop to tesco and pick another one up

OP posts:

kimi · 15/04/2007 13:57

how do you know when you have enough children?

Let me see....... When there is no wall left in your house not drawn on
When you can no longer walk in to a room without treading on Lego, k'nex or a small child
When everybody has forgotten your real name and you are always called xyz mum
When you have to book a space on the calender between your children's scouts, swimming, tennis, school meetings, dentist,play dates so YOU can have a conversation with your hubby, sex or even a poo.
When you know you have only ONE nerve/braincell left and you are hanging on to it for dear life and losing the battle.

Hope that helps

kimi · 15/04/2007 19:42

1dilemma · 15/04/2007 21:48

So kimi you're stopping at 10 then

Kaz33 · 15/04/2007 22:01

I'd quite like another one I think - but youngest about to start school so freedom looming....

No room, need a bigger car and lets be honest would our relationship survive it. The first two put a lot of pressure on us.
Though I am a sprightly 38, DH is 47 - so not sure it is fair

But, if anyone else in my family has three then I am going to feel so gutted for chickening out.

charliecat · 15/04/2007 22:04

I have two and I know I wouldnt want anymore. DDs share same birthday, and similar names.
I had an egg timer worth of patience and its all ran out now.
Children crying in supermarkets...Oh I could smother them.
Thats the sort of thing thats made me totally sure I dont want anymore.

kittypants · 15/04/2007 22:08

i always wanted 4,i 'knew' id have 4 but after 3rd was told no more so feel incomplete.ofcourse i love my 3 more than anything in world but feel theres one more to come

Tommy · 15/04/2007 22:13

as soon as my second was born, I thought "Can't wait to do that again"

Being really ill following number 3's birth, I know that this is it - too risky to try it again but I am completely happy with my 3 DSs!

DumbledoresGirl · 15/04/2007 22:14

Are you OK Tommy?

kimi · 16/04/2007 16:39

1D.
I am blessed with two lovely sons and (due to health reasons) that's it.

Never never never let the children outnumber the parents or you done for

Original poster

lovemybed · 16/04/2007 18:01

kimi could have a very good point there!!!!!

OP posts:

Judy1234 · 16/04/2007 18:51

I was not happy with 3 and I am happy with 5. At 45 I'm a bit old to have any more although I suppose with the right person I might try if he wanted it but it's unlikely.

chocolatechipmonkey · 16/04/2007 19:42

Xenia, 2 words
Cherie Blair

Judy1234 · 16/04/2007 20:20

True but she has a man.

DumbledoresGirl · 16/04/2007 22:08

Really? Does Tony know about him?

Sorry, couldn't resist.

chocolatechipmonkey · 16/04/2007 22:15

DG you are very norty! Poor Tony!
Xenia, you only need a man for about 10 minutes if you're not too fussy! I'm sure someone would oblige!

harrisey · 16/04/2007 22:39

dh was sure we were finished after 2 - I wasnt so sure. We talked about him getting a vasectomy and though he was adamant there would be no more I just couldnt agree so we went for the mirena, as it was so safe.
Not long after this my childminder got pg with her no3 and I was SOOOOOOO jealous, it took me months to get my head round it, but I did, and decided that we were complete with 2, esp as I have been ill having ds (dc2). About 6 weeks after that, after dh had been for the initial vasectomy appointment, I found out I was accidentaly (and somewhat miraculously) pg with no3! (dd2). My mirena had slipped into my cervix after a smear, adn stopped working.
I was terribly unwell duting the pg with dd2 and after, adn in fact dh had his vasectomy just before she was born, as we knew no matter what the outcome we would never go through all that again, never.
She is the delight of our lives. But dh still thinks he has 2 children (any 2 out of 3 and he's happy), adn I am delighted with my 3! but NO MORE!!

charlottegeorgiaolivermums · 16/04/2007 22:56

lovemybed

I did really want a boy after 2 girls and when I found out I was pg again just hoped and prayed it was a boy - long story about my nan wanting dd2 to be a boy on her death bed and she passed when dd2 was only 3 weeks old having said 'no another girl'.
But thats me I wanted to experience both sex's and it was so important that at 31 weeks I couldn't wait any longer and went to find out didn't want to be unset at birth and thought that if I found out then I'd be able to get over the having another girl bit before she was born. luckily it was a boy.
Not worried if some think me shallow I can't help that I'm honest that I really did want a boy and was a bit sad when dd2 was born and she was a girl. I'd never change her and love her to bits think it's a whole family thing about boys.
Know I have my dd's and a ds and it's great in fact dh know has 3 ds and 3 dd'd so 3 of each and it's the best family I could have ever asked for.
Maybe a little worried about the wedding costs LOL

Sherbert37 · 17/04/2007 09:16

I always describe DS2 (DC3) as the ultimate last child - if you knew him you would know what I mean! Swithered before number three and have never swithered since. The three of them are a complete unit and just could not be any more or any less.

mankyscotslass · 17/04/2007 09:44

CCM...10 minutes REALLY? Must speak to dh about this, he always said 2 minutes was the norm......

saadia · 17/04/2007 09:45

I have two and would love another but at the same time am happy with two, if that makes sense.

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