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Original poster

how do you know when you have enough children

169 replies

lovemybed · 14/04/2007 22:00

have 2 gorgeous dds just turned 5 and 3, love them to bits they are everything to me but im totally mixed up about having another,

have just started back at work which i am loving, enjoying being more independent, not having sleepless nights and its a lot easier to go away for a few nights with out worrying about feeds travel cots etc but there is a huge part of me that wants another one.

i suppose i might feel this way after having a 3rd though, so what i mean is how do you know when you are making the right choice not to have anymore, is it just normal for a woman to always want more children or do some people know when enough is enough.

OP posts:
Mhamai · 14/04/2007 23:00
Wink
Original poster
lovemybed · 14/04/2007 23:08

suppose i better go get my beauty sleep, good night everyone

OP posts:
nallydoolally · 14/04/2007 23:11

baby making practise you mean - lol

ebenezer · 14/04/2007 23:12

would echo much of what's been said. I think for many women there's a yearning to experience the baby thing 'just one more time' and it may never go away whether you have 2,3,4 or more. So I guess it comes down to weighing up the pros and cons and talking openly with your partner. And then I guess whatever decision you make, tell yourself it's the right decision and you're happy ie if you decide NOT to go for another, maybe best to sell the baby stuff and look ahead. One thing I would say (though of course this is a totally personal view, and you need to make your own decision) is that if you DO decide to go for another, I would do it sooner rather than later. I have a few friends who had their first two children close together, and then a 3rd almost as an 'indulgence' quite a bit later. They've generally enjoyed the baby bit, but have found it quite hard going as the baby gets older and the family have quite separate needs and interests - eg older kids don't want to be left with babysitter but younger one needs to, days out being tricky and so on. Just a thought.

lucy5 · 14/04/2007 23:17

It's a funny one, I have had 2 horrendous pregnancies, dd is 6 and ds is 5 months. I don't plan on having anymore children but i still have a yearning to be pregnant again. I have made my mind up but I still have that empty feeling in my stomach.

PeachyChocolateEClair · 14/04/2007 23:23

Me too Luce (Ds3 was not too abd but medicated throughout first 5 months- hyperemesis and eclampsia with ds1, hyperemesis (medicated) with ds2). Yet i still want another, I am daft.

singledadofthree · 14/04/2007 23:30

different take on it

when their boyfriends eat all your bloody food!!

Mhamai · 14/04/2007 23:36
Grin
LaDiDaDi · 14/04/2007 23:38

Dd is nearly one and I know that I want another baby, hopefully two, though dp says that he is happy as we are . I know that I haven't had enough yet .

1dilemma · 14/04/2007 23:38

My SIL has 4 all very close together in age all a 'handful', requires major help from MIL, youngest about 7 months and was on about having another the other day. But then said I don't want a child only a baby, I'm wondering whether I should send her a tiny tears!

themoon66 · 14/04/2007 23:40

I'd love another one. But DD is in 2nd year of university and has cost us, quite literally, £ thousands. DS is 15, so we will get one year's respite before he is at university and costing us £ thousands.

1dilemma · 14/04/2007 23:45

cgom that is a lovely story, obviously ment to be!

TwirlyN · 14/04/2007 23:52

use to dream of four,I really wanted a big family.
Now, No way thank you very much, happy, content, and losing the plot with 2 boys. We are all enjoying where we are now. or should i say, DP and I are enjoying having a bit of a life which the DC can join in with. If for some reason we did have a third, i would have to then go all out for 4.

ihatethegym · 15/04/2007 07:03

I know I have had enough children - because the hospital advised me to not have any more due to the mess they have made of me . I do think that hormones play a huge part here though - head over heart and all that. I remember feeling really broody in my early 20's and that passed. I am now in my mid thirties, have two children and barely have enough time for them both. My relationship with my partner is important too and time for me - just would not have enough time to function with another little one about.

earlgrey · 15/04/2007 07:08

TBH I would love another BUT:

Relationship with H
Big time pre-eclampsia with dd2
High possibility of Down's child when I had dd2 (7 years ago) - not sure I could go through that angst again
Money
Coming up for 42

Nuff said.

Original poster
lovemybed · 15/04/2007 09:37

so many of us seem to wantto have another one, but because of one reason and another we are all having 2nd thoughts

OP posts:
chacha3 · 15/04/2007 09:42

i have three girls 8,5 and three would love a little boy but really dont think i could afford to fetch up another child plus the three i got are a right handful!!! so i have come to a decision that my family is complete!!!

MardyBum · 15/04/2007 10:23

I have two dds age 2.9 years and 3.5 months. After a placental abruption at 41 weeks dd2 has had a shaky start and will have SN, but I am desperate for another child, almost to make sure things go right this time round. Even though we have no money, would need to build a loft conversion, get a new car, and DD2 may need more care than other children etc etc etc... Am trying to persuade DH we might get a boy this time round, though I'd be happy with three little girls, personally!!

Original poster
lovemybed · 15/04/2007 11:54

i would not be fuused about the sex of the baby either, i think it would be lovely to have 3 girls, its all the comments from other people that get to me who think that cause i have 2 dds i must be desperate for a boy.

OP posts:
sniff · 15/04/2007 12:25

I have three children now and just feel my family is complete I enjoy them but am looking forward to not doing baby things

PeachyChocolateEClair · 15/04/2007 12:26

interestingly earl grey we have some things in common- myself (AND my sisters) had pre-eclampsia (I ahd eclampsia and fitted) with our first, but Dh and I have a (usually LOL) good relationship, money will be tight but not impossible (and I can either take a few weeks off Uni and Dh help out because of how his shifts work, or defer for a year with a aguaranteed place and therefore acess to grnats / etc with a fixed date). DS3 was high risk for Downs and didnt have it BUT has ASD, so I've kinda learned a lot about acceptance and love from that (and also DS1 who is AS). My biggest dreas is the morning sickness, tbh, that I dont end up back on a drip if I do get PG. I'm not as 'old' (sorry earlgrey couldn't think of another way to phrase it! ) as you, at 33.

I guess what that shows is there is no right or worng or should or shouldnt, its about each eprsona nd their family and their plans / set up. Which comes right back to only you and DP / DH can know.

PeachyChocolateEClair · 15/04/2007 12:27

lovemybed- snap, we have 3 boys but don't aprticualrly ask for a girl- Imlike our boysy lifestyle but a girl would be a nice change, either would be great.

chocolateface · 15/04/2007 12:35

I have two boys and a girl.The back seat of my car is full, all the bedrooms in my house are full, and finally, for the first time in my life (since I was 3) I don't want a baby.

OttersPool · 15/04/2007 12:40

i have 5 and still want more...

Londonmamma · 15/04/2007 12:43

I keep laughing at this threat title and thinking things along the lines of 'when you leave one on the bus by mistake'..

Not helpful, sorry.