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Original poster

how do you know when you have enough children

169 replies

lovemybed · 14/04/2007 22:00

have 2 gorgeous dds just turned 5 and 3, love them to bits they are everything to me but im totally mixed up about having another,

have just started back at work which i am loving, enjoying being more independent, not having sleepless nights and its a lot easier to go away for a few nights with out worrying about feeds travel cots etc but there is a huge part of me that wants another one.

i suppose i might feel this way after having a 3rd though, so what i mean is how do you know when you are making the right choice not to have anymore, is it just normal for a woman to always want more children or do some people know when enough is enough.

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LilyLoo · 14/04/2007 22:27

I am so of the people who know for sure and it's that that makes me think i should follow my heart and go for it. Sod the logical reasons !

Original poster
lovemybed · 14/04/2007 22:28

yeah lets just all go get pregnant, who cares about anything else!!

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Original poster
lovemybed · 14/04/2007 22:29

actually my dh is out the country for 8 weeks, so that could be a problem

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Miaou · 14/04/2007 22:30

I always felt I kept an open mind about having more children after having dd1 and dd2. We decided to have ds and as soon as he was born we decided to have a fourth. As soon as I got pg with this one, we both knew we were done! Dh has already started talking about having the snip and I certainly don't want any more

ScoobyDooooo · 14/04/2007 22:30

Lol lovemybed you may have a bit of a problem then

LilyLoo · 14/04/2007 22:31

lmb maybe a good idea to wait for him to come home first

Original poster
lovemybed · 14/04/2007 22:32

yeah i have a very tasty postman but me and dh made such a good jb of the first 2 that i better wait for him to make the 3rd one

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LilyLoo · 14/04/2007 22:34

Decision made then lmb ?

PeachyChocolateEClair · 14/04/2007 22:34

we're sort of ( been busy LOL) trying for no.4. People think we're mad, two of our three have SN but we feel very clearly that our family is not quite done, that its still lacking a member. Only you and your DH / DP know how you both feel on that one, and you have to go with your hearts. When you are old, you won't regret having had 3 lovely children. You could well regret the baby you didnt have.

Original poster
lovemybed · 14/04/2007 22:36

pce thats what i stress about all the time, what if i dont have another and end up regretting it, im never going to regret having another once the baby is here cause it will be loved as much as my other 2

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Dinosaur · 14/04/2007 22:37

Peachy - how lovely.

Mhamai · 14/04/2007 22:40

Enough is enough when your belly wobbles like the jelley your ma made on Sunday's, when your fanjoe could pass for a new extension of the M5, when your norks hang so low that your constantly doing a les dawson.

Seriously though, will never know myself tbh as I had dd 21 years ago nearly and now have ds 6, almost like rearing two families.

I'm fast approaching 40 and have a bit of
empty nest syndrome going on and can definitly confess that I would gladly pop out another wee sprog only if I had built in nanny tho! which kind of says more about my need to be pregnant again rather than rear another child and all that goes with it.

nallydoolally · 14/04/2007 22:41

i wish i didn't want another one, i can't help it, but dh says no

PeachyChocolateEClair · 14/04/2007 22:42

Glad you think so- Mum won't discus it (p[erfect sister announced her PG last week) and my friend thinks I'm nuts.

Probably, but we can just about afford a year off for me, and a year defeered mid degree or between degree / PGCE won't kill anyone after all, far better than when I am qaulified. And of course poor, poor DS2 needs a sibling like him! The auties are runnigng this palce ATM .

More than anything though we just know its right for us. And our family, of course.

Pinkchampagne · 14/04/2007 22:44

I find two quite a handful, so feel another would tip me over the edge!

Original poster
lovemybed · 14/04/2007 22:46

im just really sad that i seem to have come to the end of the "baby" stage now, dd2 will be at nursery after the summer hols and i dont feel ready to give up mums and tots and walks to the horses and days in the park.

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charlottegeorgiaolivermums · 14/04/2007 22:47

lovemybed

Sorry haven't read whole thread but I have 2 dd's 3.11yrs and 2ys dh and I decided not to have more because he's over 40yrs and already has 3dc from 1st marriage that are all teenages.

DH booked snip and I started to feel a little sad was very worried just before appointment that I'd resent him for it but we had just sorted our lives out and house wasn't big enough etc.

Then the week of the snip I feel ill and discovered I was 13weeks pregnant. Total but now I have ds 6mths and we've moved I've just returned to work part time, Dh has had the snip and I'm totally happy feel complete but before ds was born I didn't feel totally happy with no more.

P.S. I only have 3 periods a year due to polysistic (spelt wrong sorry)ovaries and periods stopped in the October 2005 so I did 3 tests up to the middle of December 2006 all negative. DH used condoms without fail so still confused as to how I fell pregnant over Christmas but it was just meant to be (took me years to have dd's had doctors help etc and then ds just happened.

All I'd say is continue to live your life don't make any long term plans i.e. snip until your totally comfortable and wait your heart will let you know what you need whether it's more or not also dh/dp needs to decide also.

LilyLoo · 14/04/2007 22:49

Completely know where you coming from lmb. Do you focus on the next stage get rid of the baby stuff and let go of that feeling or go for it and ignore all the reasons you shouldn't ?

PeachyChocolateEClair · 14/04/2007 22:49

Makes sense to me Mahmai.

lovemybed perhaps the answer for you is to wait until your child starts Nursery. I remmeber feelinga ctual physical pain when my youngest started nursery- I imagine you feel that whether you want another or not, a sense of time passing.

Original poster
lovemybed · 14/04/2007 22:50

i would love to just fall pregnant by accident, im so thats a lovely story though well done you.

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Original poster
lovemybed · 14/04/2007 22:52

i work in a private nursery mon-fri 9-12 (in the bloody baby room!!!) and dd2 comes with me so im kind of used to her being in nursery its more the thought that after she has been to the schools nursery she will start in the actual school!!! then i will be left with no children during the day and that is such a scary feeling

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PeachyChocolateEClair · 14/04/2007 22:55

No more kids? Sis manages a Nursery and says she has more than enough kids there to need another at home (she ahs one, but has beena dvised no more as the pg damaged her kidneys, she only wanted one anyway though).

nallydoolally · 14/04/2007 22:57

i spoke to my friend's mil today... after having 3 ds she was sterilised. then fell pg and had a dd.... lucky cow!

Mhamai · 14/04/2007 22:59

Going to nursery, oh lordy, wait till they tell you they are going abroad for the Summer!

Original poster
lovemybed · 14/04/2007 22:59

haha one step at a time please

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