If this happened to you, what would your DH/DP do?

[Inarightpickleandchutney]

Let’s say you were about an hour away from home.
With a DD, having a day out at the seaside.
I have a known allergy and carry epi pens.
I went to a cafe with DD, asked about the food, ordered etc. Minutes later after a first mouthful I’m struggling for breath and it’s very obvious it’s anaphylactic shock.
DD is 7, tells a grown up they do the epi pen and n ambulance is called.

The nurse at the hospital calls home to say don’t panic but this has happened and it was a close call but it’s all under control.

Your DH.... what is their response to that call?

What on earth was his jusification for that?!

I ended up in hospital in Wales after an anaphylactic episode. My now DH (who is not ds’s dad) drove from Cheshire to Herefordshire to collect ds from his dad as ExH was “too busy to take time off to care for 7yr old whilst Mum was in hospital in Wales 😐)”. He then drove to north Wales as ds wanted to see Mummy and back to Cheshire. He then took 3 days off work to look after ds, in Cheshire, at his home. I married him. He’s one of the good guys.

Your “D”H needs to spread this thread.

I’ll ask mine later but I imagine he’d at least come for the child then try and get cover so he could join me at hospital. I’d be ok with him sorting out the child then me. Of course no child should be in a hospital for that long. Does he drive? Could he have got there?

My DH would be there like a shot!

I'd be absolutely fuming with him for leaving his child at the hospital for 9 hours. Awful behaviour towards both of you.

This must be saddest thread i have read for a while. I was rushed to hospital once, i collapsed with chest pains, a nurse rung my husband at his work, he just dropped everything even though he is in a responsible position, and he came immediately. Over the years, certain events happened with the children and he also came straight away then too, we are his absolute top priority. I am sorry but it sounds like you arent his.

I would LTB

So not only an uncaring & selfish husband, but a totally useless & dysfunctional parent. What a complete bastard he is leaving you and a 7yr old for NINE hours in a hospital and then leaving you both to get the train home at 10.30pm. Did it not occur to the fuckwit that your daughter might be distressed after witnessing her Mum having an anaphylactic shock & need her Dad. You need to make plans to LTB.

What a fucking dick.

Your daughter sounds like a very mature girl and you should be proud of her. Your DH sounds like a completely thoughtless twat. Please receive my first ever LTB and get rid

I'm anaphylactic too. Just asked my husband and he said "id be in the car before I'd even got my trousers on".

What an arse your DH is.

Yep. Wanker. Hope you and your dd are OK.

I don’t remember everything but I know that once i was all stable and all was fine DD was the first face I saw opening my eyes.
She was wearing some kind of surgical mask, blue gloves, had someone’s stethoscope round her neck and was clutching a clipboard which had a tick list of things for her to do.
Yep train home, we got in the door at 12.13 at night. I felt like I’d been hit by a ton of bricks.

I have a meeting with a solicitor next week.

I’m glad to hear that you have a solicitor’s appointment lined up. You do not need a husband like this!

He seems to think that I’m over reacting and it’s not that bad. Especially since he has now apologised for not coming.

I know it was a bank holiday and we were at the beach, but still!

Your husband is a disgrace. Even if he doesn't care about you he should have come for your daughter. I hope you feel better soon.

Firstly, I'm glad you're OK.

Secondly, your DD sounds like a great wee girl - I suspect that's more to do with you than your H.

Thirdly, I'm very pleased that you have a solicitor's appointment next week.

Finally, please feel free to use MN as a sounding board. I have seen a great many threads on here from women going through separation and divorce, and getting an amazing amount of support and practical advice from MNers.

What a selfish, selfish human being. Has he ever been ill or need help - were you there for him?
I just can not believe his response ( or NON response). This is the person that should be alongside you, in sickness and health, let alone his child !

DH would ask if I wanted him to come to the hospital and if I said yes, he would move heaven and earth to be there.

There's no way that you should be getting a train home from hospital having been blue lighted in, with a young child, in the middle of the night

Outrageous.
What selfishness your soon to be Ex DP has shown.
Wanker.

From "D"H (not exactly husband of the year himself), word for word...

"what a fucking prick"

I would expect him to come for the child if not for me....

Poor you and poor dd. What an idiot. My husband can be a bit of a useless so and so but that is pretty unforgivable. Does he have history of this sort of thing? Did you speak to each other at all?

I ended up in A and E last year, dd(15) in tow. 'Dh' was at the hospital within minutes having dropped everything at work. He took us both home later in the day. I was discharged on the condition there would be an adult with me all night. He stayed at home all night and the next day until I was feeling better.

I only mention this because we are divorced and have been for over a year, only seeing each other when he takes dd out. I appreciate it was as much for dd as me but he still did it when he didn't have to.

Nothing but for you, OP. You’ve obviously done a wonderful job with DD. You will continue to do a wonderful job without that sack of shit.

But Is it divorce worthy? DH keeps telling me it wasn’t as bad as I think it was and so I’m canvassing for opinion.

My gut says absolutely but I’m doubting myself