If this happened to you, what would your DH/DP do?

[Inarightpickleandchutney]

Let’s say you were about an hour away from home.
With a DD, having a day out at the seaside.
I have a known allergy and carry epi pens.
I went to a cafe with DD, asked about the food, ordered etc. Minutes later after a first mouthful I’m struggling for breath and it’s very obvious it’s anaphylactic shock.
DD is 7, tells a grown up they do the epi pen and n ambulance is called.

The nurse at the hospital calls home to say don’t panic but this has happened and it was a close call but it’s all under control.

Your DH.... what is their response to that call?

He'd be straight there - even if I didn't need him he'd be worried about DS.

My ex would have stayed at work for another hour, lie about when he was leaving and go to the pub instead, and then would be drunk when he turned up at the hospital.

I was kept in for 9 hours so they could be sure I wasn’t going to go into a secondary anaphylactic shock which sometimes happens, it was an hour from our home...

He didn't come and collect you?

In all likelihood, DH would check I was ok and then come and get us or arrange for my mum to come. He works 2 hours away though so depending on the situation-if he was at work, it might not necessarily be any use.

If he was in a meeting, abroad, had been drinking (just thinking of other possible situations!) he might not dash to drive there though!

If it happened on a regular basis, a partner might not come every time as it's not logistically possible.

Are you going to tell us what he actually did. Is there a back story?

What the fuck. This husband of yours is despicable. Please leave him

Ugh, cross-posted. And he didn't think perhaps his 7yo would prefer not to be stuck in the hospital all evening?

Your 'D'H is a prize plum.

Wow I'm sorry.

What time did the hospital call him? Does he drive and have a car? Never mind his feelings for me there is no way DH would allow our 7 yr old to come home via the train at 10:30pm if there was another option

He’s an arsehole.
He didn’t think about you or your child.
Glad you are ok op

I got home and he was asleep.
DD was amazing

I would expect him to at least pick me up!

If he thought everything was under control he most probably wouldn’t drop everything and run but he would come and see me eventually

That is awful. Ok you were fine in the end but you must have had a fright and at the very least felt rubbish. And your poor dd was amazing but should have had her dad there asap. The last thing you would need is a train home. So sorry Op.

Gamer, you're bordering on blaming the OP there for her husband's shitty behaviour

I’m blaming nobody for nowt the OP asked a question and I answered on the information given.

The 9 hour wait in hospital came after I posted. In that case I would expect him to collect the bairn at least.

Since he clearly lied about the 'in sickness and health bit' I would find a vow you can ignore also.
But I am petty.

Mine drives for a living so could be anywhere in the country. Therefore if he was not near me he’d call my Mum it Step Dad and get one of them to go to me and if I wanted he’d be there as soon as physically possible.

I can't believe he let your dd stay in the hospital for 9 hours! What was he thinking??

I would expect him to come for the benefit of your DD, even if you yourself didn't need help, as such.

He was asleep? You got a train home?

Wow.

He didn’t come to the hospital! So your poor DD had to wait in a hospital for however long. All the time probably worrying about you.

I’m pretty certain (in fact I know) even though he’s my ex, he’d come straight to the hospital. If not for me for his daughter.
I only phoned him the other week when I had a flat tyre and he came out and sorted it for me. DD wasn’t even with me, I’d actually only phoned to see if he could collect her from nursery, as I’d be late.

Your DH sounds like a prize wanker OP. Personally I don’t think that’s something I could forgive.

Are you shitting me?! Only time I ever needed to go to A&E, I woke him up from nights and he came straight to the hospital. (I was blue lighted in)

I think he'd phone me or ask to talk to me to find out exactly where I was, how long I'd be there, where and how the DC were, how we were going to manage the next move. Then we would decide together. If him collecting me and/or DC was the solution, he'd do that.

He would not sit on the sofa and merrily enjoy the day.

I'm so glad you're okay op and your DD is a wee star.

Mine would check I was ok, be concerned but wouldn't drop everything to collect me and I wouldn't need or expect him to. If I felt happy and was safe I would tell him I was ok and that would be that. If I did feel a bit vulnerable / weepy he would obviously do his best to get there. It perhaps makes a difference that we're both doctors though so tend not to worry/ panic about medical things and are also super busy at work and can rarely just drop things and leave.

Mine would either be straight to the hospital himself or if he was In the middle of operating (he is a surgeon) and he knew I was okay and not in a critical condition he would be getting another member of staff or his secretary to call his parents and ask them to come and take dc home with them until he was free to finish and leave. Then he would come and get me before picking up dc. Maybe your dh is accustomed to this kind of thing happening by letting your dd spend all day in hospital is really shitty.