If this happened to you, what would your DH/DP do?

[Inarightpickleandchutney]

Let’s say you were about an hour away from home.
With a DD, having a day out at the seaside.
I have a known allergy and carry epi pens.
I went to a cafe with DD, asked about the food, ordered etc. Minutes later after a first mouthful I’m struggling for breath and it’s very obvious it’s anaphylactic shock.
DD is 7, tells a grown up they do the epi pen and n ambulance is called.

The nurse at the hospital calls home to say don’t panic but this has happened and it was a close call but it’s all under control.

Your DH.... what is their response to that call?

I had an ex boyfriend who’d treat me like this. Not this extreme but if I was sick would never pop over to check on me. Once when I went to A&E for something never bothered to check up on how I had been etc.

We were young, I was an idiot, took me ages to realise this wasn’t the way I would treat him so I shouldn’t put up with it.

You have a right to be treated with the same love and compassion you would give him if the tables were turned. I could vaguely understand not coming to the hospital depending on circumstances.. but being asleep when you got in? How is that even possible!

"Three strikes, and you're out, mate".
Useless arsehole. Kick him into touch.

Your dd sounds more grown up than him. He should be ashamed of himself leaving his dd there for several hours.
Did he even bother to phone and talk to either of you, or was it a case of him hearing, blah blah, hospital, blah blah blah, shes okay, and he's thought fuck it. Even when it's getting dark and you're both not home, he's thought fuck it, I will go to sleep.

That's truly awful. LYN
But what an amazing daughter you have

Should be LTB

Poor you he is vile! Hope you're better op, daughter sounds like a credit to you!

Bloody hell what a fucking selfish shit head of a husband!
Glad you’re ok - he basically left you and a child abandoned when he could easily have nipped over in the car and taken you all home safely - arsehole!

He honestly is a selfish cunt of the highest order.
Your DD is amazing , one of my DC has a severe allergy and dealing with it when I am an adult is daunting, bit as a 7 yr old is astounding !

It seems likely that there’s history here, eg he’s a crappy DH (and father), and that this is just the final straw. Hope you’re getting ducks in a row to LTB.

Wow I’m sorry about that op your DD sounds amazing
Shame her dad isn’t and shocking he didn’t come to get you both or more importantly check you were ok regardless of what the nurse said

That's so sad. Even my dh would have dropped everything and made sure I had everything I needed at home while I recovered. Your daughter sounds fab. A fuss being made over her is warranted to reinforce she did the right thing. Would guess her father's under-reaction could be a it confusing for her.

Who on earth did he think was looking after your DD while you were in hospital recovering from a life threatening medical episode? I could just about understand his reasoning, that you, an adult, did not need him, although that is pretty callous and uncaring. What I really don't get, is why he didn't rush to look after his own bloody child! That is the bit I would be completely unable to forgive.

I think my DH might need to be told what to do.
He finds it hard to decide in those kinds of situations.
I crashed my car a while back, and was taken to hospital. I didn’t ring him till I was at the hospital, and could tell him where to come, because he doesn’t do well with uncertainty and change.

He sounds lazy
Like he can't be relied on in an emergency
What a prince ! Ltb seriously ltb
Can't believe he let you get a train home and went to sleep. Of course he has a blank expression, he is a plank that's trying to play it down so you calm down

I was once admitted to hospital with an allergic reaction that the dr said was so rare I should get myself a lottery ticket. Phoned my dh for a lift to the hospital from my gp explaining. He had a meeting so refused. My dad took me. He turned up about 7pm having been to McDonald's because he was hungry. I was in nearly a week. That was 7 years ago and there has been more stuff since. We're about to split for many reasons like this. My only regret is not leaving him 7 years ago.

Divorce was made for a man like him. Give him one as your parting gift.

What the hell is he bewildered about?
You nearly died.
Your 7yr old dd was with you while you went through this terrifying life threatening episode.
Your dd has to wait around in the hospital while the drs cared for you.
You and your 7 yr old were expected to get the train back after all this. Probably exhausted.
He couldn’t even be bothered to wait up to see how you and dd were.

What’s bewildering about all this disgusting behaviour?

Your dd is amazing.

I'd never want to sleep with such an unattractive piece of crap again so that's another reason to get a divorce.

Does he always lack empathy?

I don't think there is a question that you don't need to be with a person who so clearly doesn't love and care for you and your daughter.

Definitely divorce worthy. A real moment of clarity. Good luck in your new life with your lovely DD OP

Yes there are other examples but nothing of this level.
DD was amazing, she knows how to use the pens, we have a practice one at home and she has done ‘rehearsals’.
That’s a good point about no one wondering about DD, it was only an hour away.

Yeah I’m done with this now and I am going to tell him I want a divorce.

After I’ve see. The solicitor first!

My ex H didn't return from a work trip away that was a residential 40 mins from home the day I had to have a therapeutic termination for a partial molar pregnancy and was admitted to hospital on the emergency list at 7am on my birthday with ds1 (who was 14 months old at the time) in tow. He knew the evening before that I was going into hospital - he could have arranged to return but said he was too embarrassed to tell employer why. My dm drove from over 100 miles away to get me in and look after ds1. He rocked up at tea time after I'd come home and asked why I wasn't ready to go to a party. I never really regained respect for him after that.

.... And on a previous gynaecologist related hospital admission I was allowed home at 1am, he said he couldn't pick me up as he didn't want to wake baby ds1 (who was a great sleeper).... I got a taxi home, turned out he'd had too many beers to drive anywhere.

Oh and there was the time ds3 (yes I had more children with him!) had to go in for surgery at 8am. He was on leave from work but didn't want to drag the other two kids out in the rush hour, so me and ds3 went to hospital on the bus rather than being given a lift.

As I says he's my exH now.