Is this normal within a relationship?

[Lacura]

Hi everyone.
My partner of 13 years has booked a holiday with his 20 year old daughter. A week away in January to somewhere in Europe. He said he might do this and also said I wasn't invited because I wouldn't enjoy it. I found an email this morning, they booked it yesterday. He hasn't told me yet.
Me and his daughter haven't always seen eye to eye, in fact for the first seven or eight years of our relationship I wasn't allowed anywhere near her because her mother wouldn't hear of it.
Is it normal, to take your 20 year old daughter abroad for a week without your partner?
Also what is concerning me is that I'm due to have a small operation within the next couple of months, he's clearly not taken that into account at all.
I feel so upset, not sure if I've a right to be upset, that's why I'm posting.

Spending time wth his daughter as you have explained OP is absolutely fine. Him being an arse about it by telling you you are not welcome well that's just bang out of order.
I would book a lovely holiday for yourself and sod him and his birthday!
Put yourself first for once as this guy seems intent on trying to put you down with his snide digs at you.

Time for you to think of yourself instead of your selfish DP

I don't understand why you are getting such a hard time here. Sure, there is no problem with a man wanting to take his child on holiday, but the way he has done it is way off. No wonder you are upset.

If he'd said upfront 'I'd like to to take DD away on holiday for a bit of father/daughter bonding time, just the two of us.' I think that would be fair enough. But to book it first without any mention, then say you can't come cos you wouldn't like it, then say you'd be a hinderance....I'd be bloody pissed off too.

Under the circumstances, I echo what previous poster said about treating yourself to a nice holiday at the same time (better still, get him to pay for it) and sod his birthday.

Perhaps his you wpuldnt enhjoy it was just a way of saying I don't want you to come gently. Or maybe his daughter has asked for some time alone with him and he doesn't want to upset you. Maybe he's just an arsehole. Only you can answer that one.
But if finances are not an issue then my answer would be no, there's absolutely nothing wrong with going away without your partner.
I would completely expect to be able to enjoy a holiday with my crown up child alone and wouldn't have a problem with it the other way round. I would have an issue with my partner telling me I couldn't go though.

There's nothing at all wrong with a parent wishing to take a holiday with their adult child, just them.

There's everything wrong with being jealous of it, acting like you're entitled to go and making horrid statements about him dancing to his daughter's tune. Never mind the fact that he probably had booked it because it's something he wants to do.

Being in a relationship with someone, for however long, doesn't give you an entitlement to every ounce of their being.

He did tell Op that he was thinking of arranging a trip with his dd, before he actually booked it. Isn't it possible that the reaction he got might have provoked him to reply a bit brusquely? Op doesn't sound as if she was willing to take No for an answer. She also sounds jealous of the time dp spends alone with his daughter.

Father-daughter holidays are a regular routine. Given the hostility of his ex, this is a minor miracle. They like more active holidays than Op can cope with. They wouldn't be able to do as much if she were there.

Op - you've obviously had a rough time with the dsd in the past. I think the times when you had to take second place are colouring your view of this situation. Unfortunately, even if you and dsd are now on civil terms, you may have to accept that you can't re-wind time and they'd rather continue having holidays on their own. There's nothing to stop you and dp having an exciting holiday as a couple to celebrate his birthday together. Making an issue of this is going to damage your relationship with dp and make that a less likely outcome.

Thank you all for taking the time to reply. I still feel sad that I have been excluded yet again but I am just going to have to suck it up. I am not sulking or behaving badly, maybe he will bring me a present back. Lol.