Boyfriend strangled me

[namechange1224]

On Saturday night. We were both drunk. I threw a photo frame, small cactus plant on the floor and the sand went everywhere.

I was in the kitchen and he held me by my throat. Dragged me on the floor, my legs are all bruised.

I forgave him because he hasn’t done anything like it for ages and he was sorry. He wanted to know what he could do because we have these huge rows. They escalate from nowhere.

We properly made friends and I tidied up the mess I had made (luckily nothing was broken) - as it wasn’t just him, I had provoked him tbh

Come in from work today and he’s just acted like an arse. He shows no remorse. Huge row. I made his dinner, whilst he exercised and had a shower etc. He says I need help, which I probably do, but I just find it strange how he knows I’m not right but can sit and eat the dinner I made for him and watch tv whilst I cry upstairs??

I came down and said we need to talk, he just says I’m crazy, that the weekend is nothing to do with this. I just feel like he should be trying to make amends. and that strangling someone isn’t something that can be swept under the carpet.

I don’t know. Maybe I am crazy, he says I’m high maintenance but I just want a bit of respect

OP calling the police is a common tactic. He's trying to make you out to be 'the bad guy'/crazy for when he hurts you next time. Please, please, report him to the police. They'll have come across this kind of situation before.

How are you op?

I have a feeling you'll go back to him, and not bother to tell the police what really happened, in the right way for them to put aside this accusation and help you.

I don't think you're ready to be helped. Which is really sad as your partner is ready to get even more violent.

You met not reading anything people are writing on here. It's like his voice is louder and you automatically want to believe the fantasy he is pushing.

I hope I'm wrong, but it sounds like you want to see what effect one night in a hotel will have on him. Sadly, it won't do anything.

As I said, I hope I'm wrong because you don't have much time to carry on like this. He's cut off a main escape route by discrediting you to the police. It's serious and escalating. If you do nothing you'll find yourself in a worse and worse situation, with no choice but to rely on keeping him sweet, which of course will be impossible because he doesn't want to be, he wants to keep on doing this to you.

Please don't let him.

He's cut off a main escape route by discrediting you to the police.

I second this

My ex used to twist events, keep going over it in the wrong order, use my MH issues to make me think I was crazy, push me etc. I tolerated all these ‘minor’ things until he strangled me so hard he left bruises around my throat. I never thought he was dangerous until this point and we’d been together five years and had a son, but I knew then that him killing me was a real possibility. He will have picked you knowing your vulnerable. Don’t be his victim OP, you deserve better.

My ex did discredit me to the police, saying I did attack him and even faking an injury! You are lucky to be alive, please put yourself out of danger.

Sorry posted to soon....he will do this again and no one, including you, can know that he won't kill you next time

I remember reading an interview about DV and the psychologist bring interviewed was stressing the importance of just how dangerous it is to stay with someone who puts their hands around your throat as the percentage of men who do this who then go on to kill their parents is REALLY high. Please be safe OP and seek help.

This thread makes me so sad - OP - please listen to the great advice you've had. This man is poisonous and nothing else. You do not deserve this terrible treatment. You aren't causing it - he's making a choice to abuse you.

He isn't loving or kind or caring - he is an ABUSER.