30 days no contact - Thread no 2

[Mumanddadtoone]

As the last thread is almost full, thought I'd start a new one.

This is for all of us who are trying to do at least 30 days without contact with an ex.
So whatever your reasons for instigating no contact please feel free to join in and we can all support each other.

Broken - small claims court if he doesn't stump up the money. You sound like a different person from the other day, yes he's a cheating twat but I think this will be the thing that carries you through. Try to find the positives in the negative. Well done.

I assume he puts them on when he’s a bit pissed late at night. Then when he wakes up they disappear. The problem is I get up much earlier than him so I see them before he gets up. Idiot. Yes Broken small claims court. Tell you Dad to give him a deadline or he’ll take action and keep all messages from him where he agrees he owes the money x

Hope everyone has had a good day today x

How are you doing, Nuts?

I am okay... No money or belongings so my anger is growing. I haven't cried today so I feel a bit better for that. I am worried that when I get my things and it's all over I will break again, but maybe I've just accepted it now.
I still can't eat. Today I've managed water and some plan crisps, yesterday I had 2 biscuits and some more water.

Getting you stuff back will be another flashpoint for emotion so prepare yourself for that but it sounds like you’re doing well. You must try to eat more than that though.

I’m ok. Generally day to day I’m fine but I feel a bit down tonight. I’m facing a weekend of no plans and my best friend is away. Friday night was ‘our’ night so that’s always a bit sad. Tomorrow will be the 4th one single. Not looking forward to staying in alone but I’ll be ok x

Thankfully I wont be seeing him, but I think it will be hard to say goodbye to the house that I worked on for a year before it was livable. It will be hard saying goodbye to all of the memories. But I have no choice!

Oh, I'm dreading the weekend too. Especially when everyone else has been counting down for it all week! Would you ever sign up to some meeting thing? Like those groups where people meet up to do something fun (not dating!) How about getting your favourite take away on Friday night and buying your favourite film as a treat? Something he wouldn't watch with you so it isn't associated with him x

I’ll probably grab some wine and have an early night. I have a group of friends that go out locally. Very nice people but a bit older and nobody I would confide in (although that stops me talking about things). I joined a meetup group who are meeting tomorrow night in our local town for drinks but I’m not brave enough to go. Maybe next time. I don’t want to get drunk and start telling them all about my dad life, they’d think I’m nuts lol x

*sad 🙄

You should go! Just accept that the first time may be awkward and uncomfortable but after what you've been through recently it won't be as bad as that! And next week will be better. Start making Friday night your night again. And maybe just have a drink or two so you won't be worrying about that

Urghhh I’m not good tonight at all. Bloody bloody Friday tomorrow. I hate this end of the week. I know when I get to Sunday morning I’ll be good again. Why did he have to be such a dick?

Ami - this will pass and one day soon you will have the Friday feeling again. I hate the whole association thing, it just ruins things!!!

I know. My friend has asked me to hers for a drink tomorrow night but I don’t want to stay over and I’d have to because it’s far away. I’d rather be at home or out just local to my house. I hate the association of Friday. It’s like a weekly reminder just to kick me in the guts when I think I’m feeling better. Still I think I’m Day 16 now 😊

Ami, just do what you need to do to get through it, like you said, come Sunday you'll be feeling better again, each weekend it will get a little easier until you look forward to them again.

Thanks mum and userxx I know it will pass. It is getting a bit easier each week. It hits me more I think on a Thursday as usually I would really be looking forward to tomorrow and instead a long empty weekend stretches ahead of me. I will find things to keep me busy and on track

I get how you're feeling! And everyone at work tomorrow will be joyful because it is weekend again. This is my first/second weekend without him. He broke up with me last Friday so it's technically my second but it feels like my first with regards to the no contact.

It sucks that he's probably ecstatic doing whatever he is doing and he can't wait for the weekend. But I can't change it.

X

An empty weekend can be depressing, the weather is meant to be good so I'm going to blitz the garden!!

That sounds like a good plan user (:

Haven't managed to eat today, except for the crisps. Thats 3 days with not much besides water. But I feel okay.

Nothing shifts weight as quick as the heartbreak diet. Just keep on drinking water and maybe a bit of cereal if you can't face anything else.

Fill your weekend up with lots of tasks you’ve been meaning to do for ages Ami! Sunday will be here before you know it.
Eat a little bit of what you fancy broken, unfortunately I eat more when I’m upset! So by the time I’m over my break up I will need to hire a crane to lift me out the house
Had to see him this morning but just kept it simple and we chatted about random stuff for 5 minutes. I left not feeling as empty as I usually feel. Still hard but I’ll get there

That sounds great Liza :) Sounds like you're doing fab.

I don't fancy anything at the moment, food is usually my favourite thing and I eat when I'm sad too! So I expected to be eating a lot.

I'm having a hard day today. He messaged my mum. He said he can't afford to pay us back until next month and said he hadn't had the chance to give his side of the story, but then failed to give it! He tried making me look bad too which I think is just funny. He said he'd leave me a key in the key safe so at least I can get my things.

It's impossibly too soon and quite embarrassing but I have been asked out on a date. I have told him the truth and that its still raw for me but he said we can do something fun this weekend as friends. I'm not sure what to do!

Thanks Liza I will try. Might go do a food shop on the way home from work or something else impossibly dull haha.

Broken be careful going out with another man. By all means if you think you can have a fun platonic day out then go for it. But if he wants more you might find yourself looking for comfort in that direction which can make you feel a whole lot worse (I have experience of this long ago).

I've just been chatting to a friend about my situation. The spin I put on it was that it was on holiday that I found out he was not quite the nice fella I thought he was, and do you know what? That is absolutely true!! I'm not prepared to paint myself into the role of a wallowing singleton who has been dumped. He did behave appallingly on holiday and it is my decision to go NC so I am in control here. I know if I messaged him now he'd reply and would be up for a drink tonight (he never does anything else but booze). But I will never do that. I'm feeling ok today, still a bit down with the whole Friday thing but it's not the end of the world x

I'm really struggling just now, any quick tips?

Struggling as in feeling sad?

Yes, just a sudden overwhelming sadness. I miss him so much. How could he do this to me? We had so much. I miss his smell and the way he held me and made me feel safe and blissfully happy.

I'll be fine in a few minutes. Just the prospect of a weekend. It's now a week since we broke up. I haven't cried for 2 days so it needed to let itself out one way or the other!

Broken try to remember what he did to you. Focus on that. Or the other night when you had a ‘normal’ few hours with family and that was ok, you felt better.

I get it’s hard, especially Friday night. I’m sat on my own drinking wine, how tragic. My friend has just very publicly posted on FB that she is at a hotel I recommended that we had been to and thanked me for the recommendation. Made me feel shit (she absolutely won’t have meant to). My only hope is that he will see it too and feel even bloody worse. We had a great time there. I’ve been invited out later but not till about 9.30 so might not bother.

Broken have a bath, try to eat. Watch Cold Feet, that’s good. Just break your night down into hours until bedtime x