30 days no contact - Thread no 2

[Mumanddadtoone]

As the last thread is almost full, thought I'd start a new one.

This is for all of us who are trying to do at least 30 days without contact with an ex.
So whatever your reasons for instigating no contact please feel free to join in and we can all support each other.

I've decided I am going to write a list of 30 things I want to do for myself or around the house. So each day that is no contact I can concentrate on doing something for myself

100%! I also found this which looks great. 30 days of self love, little tasks each day to do for yourself

www.the-gratitude-project.com/30-days-of-self-love/

Have a look!

@dinnerdatedisaster sadly he has decided it's what he has to do. Still loves me blah blah blah. I am starting to realise he's just full of shit though

Oh @Button21
That's awful. Keeping in contact is really harming you. Sending you

dolly and dinner I am so sorry to hear you both caved when you were both doing so well. Try to keep positive and to keep going. It really is doable and you will feel so much better. Whenever you feel like sending messages post on here instead so we can help you. You are not alone in this at all.

Button21 I'm so sorry you feel like this but the amount of times you are calling him and turning up at his house is way overboard. You are putting yourself at risk of criminal charges of harassment. You need to try and take control of this and the first step may be to return to your GP. It does not sound as though you are managing your depression / anxiety very well and medication may well help you. You need to take very small steps at taking control back. What is it exactly that you hope he is going to say? To be brutally honest if my ex was calling me like that and turning up at my house I would find that frightening. And certainly it would not in any way persuade me that I had made a mistake ending the relationship. I am so pleased you can see this is not normal as that is the first step to recovery. Please try to stop as you may get harassment warnings or non-molestation orders against you which may put your job in jeopardy and that would be a disaster for your children and for your emotional health. Why don't you try breaking each day off into smaller parts and focus on getting through each one for now. We can help you with this

Just had a text off ex saying "you mean the world to me but now everything is twisted and sour because you keep messaging me"

Couldn't have asked for a bigger kick up the ass if I tried

button do get to your GP as soon as you can and tell them how you feel. This is not something that you’ll be able to deal with by yourself as your feelings sound very extreme, and contacting your ex like that is harassment. You need help, this forum won’t be able to give that help. Please get a professional in and try to confide in someone in real life.

Ooooh gonna do the 30 days self love thing.

I've also decided to make some wall lists (ok just big lists going on my wall lol) similar to what you are doing dolly of things I want to do for myself. It's mainly things I've been hiding my head in the sand over since splitting with my ex earlier this year. I still have photos of us on the walls etc. as I've just tried to move on without thinking about him - I guess I've been a bit like a guy with him, but I had to be to stay strong and not go back to him - he was EA.

I've been so stressed about so many things I need to do and not done them so this will be the best way for me to get stuff done at last.

Oh and listening to Dua Lipa New Rules...feels very apt for this group! Have a listen.

Damned if I do, damned if don't!

Yes! Day 1 tomorrow. Bring it on. Feel like throwing my phone in the bin

Dolly and dinner- fresh start tomorrow! You both deserve so much better!

Nice to read through everyone’s posts, hope everyone is ok! Keep going ladies...

Saw my stbxh when picking up dd this morning, was polite but pretty blunt with him. Have spent my day off with dd and my mum, was so nice. We went shopping, got dds feet measured and got my car valeted! Big achievement for me, haven’t been bothered just lately but it’s no nice to have a clean car.

I have gone almost 3 hours not thinking about him. That’s good right? And I’m on day 9 minimal contact. Nothing about us in that time at all. That’s good right? I think I need a pep talk

Liza you sound like you’re getting stronger. Brilliant. Try not to think about the day when you might be friends. It’s a long way off and will happen when emotions are not involved any more.

To those starting again tomorrow keep really strong and heads held high

Liza you're doing so well. I think in a good year or so you could be friends, but the feelings have to totally go first.

Today is day 2 of NC, i'll have to message him tomorrow regarding work as I'm seeing him Friday...BUT, I think I'm finally coming to terms with the fact that things will never be anything more with him. He's not coming into my head a million times a day - still think of him a lot - but things are getting better.

Oh and in reality this is probably day 15+ NC but as I've had setbacks we're back to day 2. lol

How does anyone get over losing someone in traumatic circumstances. I just keep waking bolt upright, like now. Feeling like I'm having a panic attack
I know I have to go NC but I just endlessly can't help thinking what he's doing without me, and how can I live my life without him

Totally get that fear. I’m On my way! evening one of being left. Feel so so sick and scared.

On my first evening, no sleep making me stupid!

Day 10- lets do this!