30 days no contact - Thread no 2

[Mumanddadtoone]

As the last thread is almost full, thought I'd start a new one.

This is for all of us who are trying to do at least 30 days without contact with an ex.
So whatever your reasons for instigating no contact please feel free to join in and we can all support each other.

Liza I think that’s when I noticed how much better I was, truly better. When my new normal kicked in and I didn’t have to actually consciously try to forget various days of the week and thinking ‘we’d have been doing ..... right now’ and feeling crap.

Yes, it does happen to me. It’s actually happened today when I was talking to my friend about him. I try to find every possible reason to dislike but I just can’t do that. He ended it with me by text - out of the blue- after amazing two months. My friend read his text and said that his final text message was very blunt and unemotional. His previous messages were very warm and affectionate . She said that this guy couldn’t have cared a lot about me if he ended it like that - just a text message (that’s all that I deserve). My friend said that it was a blessing in disguise that it all ended now and I shouldn’t be upset as he is not worth it. I understand all that but still miss him terribly. Will it ever pass??

Dinner and Happy it will pass. I think about mine when he (rarely) crosses my mind now with indifference. My rational head remembers that the relationship for the most part was good but the way he ended it has tainted everything so I don’t think back with fondness or missing him. I just think he’s a phoney snake who led me on for god knows how long. I genuinely couldn’t care less about him or what he’s doing. He’s pathetic and I deserve far better. We all do. He’s basically a functioning alcoholic who paints himself as a fantastic father whilst his mother parents his children whilst or unless he takes them to the pub. Dreadful man

Certainly can dinner! Onwards and upwards and all that. I’ve got great friends, family and work colleagues and a lovely little flirty thing going on. It will go nowhere but it’s a fab distraction

dinnerdate That's what i'm missing. That I'd get messages and it made me so happy, the flirting and excitement of it all.

I'm speaking with another guy who's really into me. He's lovely and a sweet guy, but not really my type and I think aside from him finding me attractive, and us both being into fitness and both single parents, we'd have nothing in common. Don't want to lead him on, although i've made it clear I'm not ready to date anyone, but he's not giving up lol.

I'm feeling low tonight, not in an i'm-going-to-contact-him way as I realise how pointless that is. Just in a i-can't-believe-he-doesn't-care-about-me-like-i-thought way. I know he isn't worth my thoughts and affection, but it just sucks.

Ami - 👍👍👍 on the new flirty man. Good for you!!

I feel exactly the same way ladies. I go from feeling ok about things to missing him so much. 8 years we were together!
I stupidly looked through my Instagram posts earlier and came across photos of us not even 4 months ago and I now feel sick to my stomach! Why did I have to scroll down!
I reminded myself that he is a selfish arse who did nothing for me and dd and I feel a bit better. It just hurts he chose his friends and single life over me and his daughter. What a fucktard.

Hugs Liza - I'm sure my ex thinks about me the way you think about your ex. (Although mine was EA, so I didn't just leave him for the single life etc I had real reasons, unlike your nasty ex)

I'm so up and down it's annoying. I wouldn't even say I'm fully able to do NC at the moment, as we work together. So I'm just not messaging him first. I could see him more this week but have decided to only work with him Friday. I would usually see him a few times, but I'm realising there's no point going out of my way for him. I'm looking into ways to stop working with him altogether but that's going to take at least a month or two to sort.

Some days I feel so stupid like I've made it all up and he was never interested in me. But he was, and he did lead me on. He was so into me and then one day he just moved on and dropped me like I was nothing.

I feel lonely and where I want comfort from some kind of relationship but I'm not ready for a relationship so it would be unfair to even date anyone. lol. So messed up.

Seeing them active of social media is hard right? Can’t wait in a weird way to get one of his sporadic texts AND TO DELETE. And to regain power

Morning everyone. Sorry I’ve been quiet. Had a shit day yesterday with a string of messages. We planned to meet up so I could collect my things but I cancelled and I didn’t hear the last of it. He hasn’t replied to my last message sent so I’m starting a clean slate of day 1. Just have to come on here and vent when I feel the urge although I have nothing to say to him. Please give me a virtual slap if I think it’s a good idea to message him.

Sending everyone lots of

I struggle sometimes but have to keep reminding myself what a selfish b*ard he is.

I hope he finds happiness - I will!!

Day 8 of minimal contact! No texts in all that time- apart from one Sunday telling me he was outside with dd. Oh and I did look at past photos on Instagram but they were mine so does that count?
Had to drive past his work to drop dd off at the childminders but just kept my head down and kept driving. Have to see him in the morning to pick dd up from him at work.
It’s a pain cos Wednesday is my day off. But he couldn’t possibly drop dd off to me, oh no.
So I have to drag myself out of bed to get there before he opens his shop at 7.30. Oh well. Just another reason he is such a dickhead.

Hugs to everyone. Sending you all the strength to get through another day

Ladies you will get through it! If you've been through a break up prior to this, you KNOW you will get through it....you've done it before and you will do it again.

Have some positive affirmations for the day and remember how bloody amazing you are:

I listened to the hypnotic video you shared last night, although only for a couple of hours as DC decided to join me in bed lol. But I do think it helped. Will put it on again tonight.

I'm on Day 1 of NC for the umpteenth time, and I will have to break it at some point this week as have to message him about work, and have to see him Friday. But while he's come into my head a lot today, it's not been with feelings of wanting to contact him. I think I've finally realised how pointless it all is, and I'm starting to see how he was just leading me on for his own ego boosts.

But other than that today is stressful, I work so hard as a single mum running my own business and I literally work from the second I drop DC off until the second I pick them up and sometimes have to take them to jobs with me after. Just had some customer message me a really passive aggressive nasty message about an innocent mistake, and it's just making me question why I bother working so hard for people like that.

I have had to make contact today about DD.

So I still count it as NC as I have kept to short and to the point.

Do feel really low today and am struggling with him not messaging me. But I know deep down it's for the best.

Aside from no contact - does anyone have tips to help forget the other person? To forget the good things they did?

Strange question - I know.

I'm struggling...

GeriT to forget someone I think the hypnosis videos help, I play before going to sleep and you're meant to play it throughout the night as they're 8 hours long but I find they help as it goes into your subconscious or something but it's worth a try aye if you're struggling

@Itsjustmarley

I seem to have missed the link.

Can you send it to me please? I will give anything a try.

I struggle with the same thing Geri- and I have to maintain contact as we also have a dd together.
It’s been 6 weeks. To begin with I found it hard to keep it just about dd because I had questions I was desperate for answers for and I missed him!
But after several weeks of to-ing and fro-ing I had to make the break to what I call minimal contact for my own sanity! I message his mum with updates on dd and keep it very businesslike on the handovers. I hope we can be friends eventually but for now it has to be like that.
It’s tough, I have moments where I miss him like mad and moments where I hate his guts. But we just didn’t work. And that’s what I try and remind myself constantly.
Work keeps me busy and I have an amazing family and wonderful friends. It is just taking it one day at a time.

Dinner I get that. Losing the friendship too. I think that is the part that is upsetting me more than anything. Yes i want a cuddle but does he not even care how i am. I thought we were friends. You tell friends if you get a bewnew job etc.