30 days no contact - Thread no 2

[Mumanddadtoone]

As the last thread is almost full, thought I'd start a new one.

This is for all of us who are trying to do at least 30 days without contact with an ex.
So whatever your reasons for instigating no contact please feel free to join in and we can all support each other.

Iris65 - that's my problem too, i'm okay until I see him and we sort of work together, so I have to see him tomorrow. I'm thinking of asking someone to take over the role I do there though, just so I don't have to work so closely with him any more. Would have to tell him that's what I'm doing though, which would be awkward.

Happy2018 Yes of course you'll get over him. You met him a couple of months ago - so basically it's not like he's been in your life forever. You coped before without him and you'll cope now. Do you want someone who hooks you in, and then drops you? No. You deserve better. But I'm in a very similar situation where I was hooked in by a guy, all promises and affection and then he dropped me as soon as I fed his ego enough/someone else came alone/whatever it was. It's heartbreaking, especially when you see a future, but the best thing you can do is move on and show them that they missed out on a great thing.

dolly I'm so proud of you for not messaging him. You are doing so well, and whenever you do get the urge, come here, read our posts, read your list of reasons he's an utter scumbag. Tbh his 'ill talk to you soon' message to you basically is him going off having his cake and then he'll come back to you when he's full...not to make you feel bad but he just seems like that kind of guy. Go out this weekend, have a fab time with your friends, get all dressed up and feel good about yourself. If you think you'll message him if you drink then give your phone to a friend etc so you don't - or delete his number for the night so you don't. Because I know for me having alcohol makes me so much more prone to messaging people. You're doing so well though.

I just got back from the gym, feeling refreshed and so much stronger. Have to see him in the morning, working together for a couple of hours. Dreading it as I'm doing so well, but my massive wobble after like 10 days NC was because I saw him. Just hoping I can remain strong tomorrow, will report back...obviously ;)

Honestly ladies, if anyone's having any struggles, listen to the hypnosis videos before sleep. I think there's even some day ones. May have to listen to it a few times though. I did it last night and did feel slightly better...it plays on your subconscious. So I'm gonna eat my cereal now and then hypnotize myself lol

Finding it difficult tonight

Tuileries what's up? big hugs xx

Itsjustmarley i'll have a listen tonight, i've found youtube soooo helpful. there are so many videos on getting over someone etc. and after listening to them today and yesterday on my really bad day, i feel so much stronger.

I just wish I would hear from him. I wish I could have a hug from him.

Tuileries sounds like you're going through an emotional set back right now where it's not actually him but you want the comfort really. Plus this is the kind of time where you'd usually be cuddling so it's a memory time. You're strong and don't need a hug from someone like him. You want a hug someone who is worthy of you

Thank you. I'm going to try to get some sleep now. Goodnight everyone.

xx

Dolly I told him I was married

I always feel I’m worse off in the mornings. I always fill my head with thoughts of what did he do the night before and who was the last person he spoke to before bed. Torturing myself really I guess. I just want to stop wondering how he is! Think I might try the rubber band technique- every time I think of him I’ll snap the band and replace that thought with something completely different. Apparently it works.

Can I join you. 16th wedding anniversary today. Desperately want him to contact me. Trying very hard not to message him. Know he just makes me unhappy. Luckily he is away for 28days so won't see him

Mornings are always the worst because that's when your head is empty and free so you can literally start thinking all sorts...bad negative thoughts. Things that can probably help are doing a yoga session but at this time I don't even want to get out of bed, if you've listened to a hypnosis video that night or listen to morning meditation and good affirmations. I think this is day 2 for me now

for everyone. Wishing you all a better day.

I agree - mornings are the worst! I used to get a “Good morning “ text from him every morning and stupidly grabbed my phone this morning to check if he had sent me one. I know it’s early days but it’s affecting me physically as well. I have no energy. I find it difficult to do things. I keep on telling myself that I have only known him for a few months - very short time indeed. But he was the best man I have ever met (at least it feels like this at the moment). I know it’s too early to think about dating again but I am scared that I won’t meet anybody as nice as him.

Just googled positive affirmations - really good idea. I am going to try this :)

Goodmorning everyone!

Day 3 for me. What day is everyone else on?

meoewimacat- thank you so much for your kind words. Can't explain how much I love this thread and how much it has helped. Planning on turning my phone off as soon as I get to the party and not turning it back on till the end of the weekend. Don't want to be sending any drunk messages because if I am honest I have nothing to say to him.

N0Way- What made you tell him? Has he replied?

LizaJane85- I find mornings difficult too. I have to drive past his house to get to work although for the past couple of days I have been taking a different route. I will admit I drove past his house this morning and he was at home. Then the whole drive to work I was wondering who he was in bed with. Made me angry.

Tuileries- Sorry to hear you were struggling last night. Hope you're a lot more positive this morning

sad9999- I hope you find support and strength in this thread. It has really helped me and feel like I have made a new group of friends almost over night!

Miraclecure- I know how you're feeling about the "for now" and the potential for them to message is hard. Do 30 NC! and remember its not about getting your ex back its about yourself and healing.

We all deserve so much better.

Off to the cafe to get a sausage and egg sandwich as my Friday treat

Chin up ladies x

MiracleCure- Yes. I am going to miss the sex. Don't think it would have lasted this long if we didn't have such great sex. Time to get a vibrator haha

Thank you MiracleCure. I think you are right. All these texts and communication was to hook us in. I don’t believe that a man would spend every spare minute messaging and phoninig you pretending that he is all over you and then his feelings would change in a week or two just like that! It’s hard now and we will be ok. I am also trying to focus and think about all the positive things I have in my life - my children, family, friends, job etc Heartbreak is difficult but other people in the world are in worse situations. We will be fine :)

MiracleCure- Learn to love yourself again and go back to the person you was before you met him. I use to love life so much before I met my Ex but his lack of effort and attention made me feel like that was what I deserved. I fucking don't. We all deserve someone who looks at us everyday feeling like they've won the lottery. I was on day 2 yesterday. It was hard. Try not to think about getting to 30 days. If you can get to a week then it will be a milestone and take it from there!x