30 days no contact - Thread no 2

[Mumanddadtoone]

As the last thread is almost full, thought I'd start a new one.

This is for all of us who are trying to do at least 30 days without contact with an ex.
So whatever your reasons for instigating no contact please feel free to join in and we can all support each other.

all that “I love you, you’ll hear from me soon” is a load of shit isn’t it? Do you reckon when/if I get to 30 days I should ask him what the fuck is going on. I’m hoping not to give a shit by then lol

You won’t care by then honey. You’ll be seeing him in a whole new light. He is only saying that to keep you dangling. He’s a total player. He’s messing with your head. Stay strong tonight. You can do this

The hardest/saddest part is that our relationship was only beginning really from June time although we’d be with each other for two years. That’s when I got introduced to the family and friends and he told me he loved me for the first time (he didn’t stop saying it after that) we went on holiday twice and then he decided to have a one night stand. I don’t understand

What he said to you dolly is an absolute barrow full of shit with bells on. Imagine him sat in that barrow (with bells on). You wouldn’t treat anyone like that, you know you wouldn’t. You deserve so much better. Push the barrow off an imaginary cliff. Listen to it back (him saying that) and think about it. It’s utterly ridiculous!!! Nonsense!! Who does he think he’s messing with!?!

The only thing you need to understand is that he’s treated you terribly. This is a problem with him, not you. Not you!!! He shagged someone else! He’s a tool and a fool and not worth another minute of your time

aminuts23- you’re making me feel so much better thank you babe. I just know he’s gonna text me at some point and I suppose I’m just here waiting for it

That’s what this thread is for dolly
Ridicule him in your head or on here. It helps! I mean what a line ‘I love you, you’ll here from me soon!!!!!’ Absolutely what the fuck does that actually mean! Fucker

Ahhh after two weeks I broke the silence 🤦🏻‍♀️

This time a year ago we had just got back from our wedding rehearsal...

Arsehole.

Even if I can get to a week I’ll be so happy with myself and even then I feel like I have the right to say look you either need to be with me or not otherwise I’m walking away. Can’t wait for the weekend! Spending it with my best friend and a lot of partying is involved!

NoWay- what did you say?!

LizaJane- try not to remember anniversaries I know it’s hard but you’re torturing yourself x

Liza that is sad. Bound to provoke difficult memories. Poor you. Just get through it as best you can.
Dolly you can get to a week. What day is this? The weekend sounds fab

I’m almost done on day 3.

Dd is at his this weekend so I’ve got loads planned- out with a friend tomorrow night, out with more friends Saturday night and Sunday- the dreaded first anniversary- something is planned but I have no idea what. My sisters have something up their sleeve. God knows what!

happy I've been exactly where you are and it really really hurt, like how can someone be so full on, making plans with you, making out like you're the one...i dunno why some guys do that. Mine was pathetic and said 2 things 1-that I'd stress him out because he thought I'd question him all the time. And 2-that although we're only dating still he's still single and if he wants to see other girls he will and not feel like he has tell me if he wants to see other people.

dolly he is just crap. Why do you want someone who treats you like that? Surely you deserve better and once you really start believing it you'll get better because at the moment you're wanting crap and I'm sure you don't want that.

Almost done on day 2. Just thinking if I make it to Sunday it’ll be day 5 and so on

You’re doing fab dolly! Hope the urge to message him has gone. He’s not worth flexing your texting finger on

Just remembering all the shit he’s done and horrible my life would be if I married him and had children with him. Just had a bath. Gonna get into bed and listen to my hypnosis lol!

Dolly - wild 😜
Well done on getting through today

Liza you’re doing great too and you weekend sounds wilder than dolly’s hypnosis 😂

Don’t knock it till you try it Aminuts23

Reading all the threads and actually it makes me feel better already. Wow, amazing how people who’ve never even met can support each other. Like this thread.

Happy your ex sounds cruel. He’s led you right on hasn’t he! I know it hurts right now but it will get better. The support here is great and we are all at different stages of the same experience. So we can help you along the way. It’s not easy, we all know that. Some support, positive stories and a pinch of humour will help. You were fine before you met him and you will be again.

Aminuts23, thank you.
I have never been dumped before (I am in my early 40s) and don’t really have a lot of experience with men. I did let my guard with him. He wasn’t cruel - I think he was a very honest, kind , sincere guy and that’s probably why I think that I will never find anybody like him. When I asked him why he was making plans about the future, was so enthusiastic about everything etc , his reply was “That’s how I felt at the time”. He was making plans just before he dumped me. How could the feelings change so quickly? Or was he just afraid to tell me that he wanted to end it? I feel so stupid for falling for him so quickly and trusting him so early on.

I’ve spent so much time today reading positive stories on MN. You are right - the support here is great. I suppose everybody goes through heartbreak at some point. It’s just the most awful feeling I’ve ever experienced .

Off to sleep now girlies! End of day 2 woohoo! Be strong and positive. Can’t wait to see how you’re all getting on tomorrow

Happy I’m in my early 40s too and my ex did exactly the same. We were together about 11 months. Although he didn’t end things in a decent way at all. Years since I’ve been dumped too.

I don’t know the answer, scared of commitment or something but I think that’s a bit of a cliche. The problem is they don’t ever seem to tell you the real reason. Doubt they even know themselves really. It’s gutless and cowardly to pretend to make plans then suddenly dump. It blindsided me. I was actually abroad with him on a holiday that was his idea, to a destination he wanted to go, and about 3 weeks before he wanted me to see if we could say longer. He ended things while we were there, saying that he’d ended things weeks before and I should have known we were just friends. Inexplicable really (like a 40s woman has no idea she’s been binned). I churned it over for ages for answers but in reality the only answer I could come up with was that he was a selfish self absorbed player. Yours sounds the same to be honest. No consideration whatsoever of your feelings whilst he plays out a fantasy relationship in his head with you as a spectator. You’ll be fine x