30 days no contact - Thread no 2

[Mumanddadtoone]

As the last thread is almost full, thought I'd start a new one.

This is for all of us who are trying to do at least 30 days without contact with an ex.
So whatever your reasons for instigating no contact please feel free to join in and we can all support each other.

Ah, I thought you meant like revenge! How are you doing Liza?

Nah, I couldn’t give a stuff if me not talking to him is hurting him! He doesn’t care that he’s hurt me!
I’m ok. As each day passes I see more and more glimpses of my life being better without xh. I’m sure now I’m set in NC that will get more frequent! I’m glad you are doing so well Ami

Ps I wish netmums has an instant messenger- anyone wanna start a WhatsApp group for the difficult times? PM me if you do

Day one done! Night everyone x

Well done Liza! Day 1 completed for me too

Well done girls. I'm on day 5 although I have to see him next week and spend time with him 1 on 1 so that's not going to help. But I've not initiated any messaging like I probably would have, and I found something today he gave me (a silly gift) that I could have easily contacted him about but didn't. It helps soooooo much not having him on social media, as I would usually check his posts constantly through the day. Even though I also miss doing that/miss him messaging me.

That other guy is still pursuing me and as I said before it's making me see how my crush see's me. I'm not prioritising his messages as I don't care/want to be with him, and I know crush did that with me. - not always though, but he hooked me in and then dropped me.

Going away this weekend with my single mum friend. We're both going through man issues so will be nice to chat with her about everything. Although will try and update here as this thread is helping so much with just trying to move on. It's nice knowing I'm not alone, even if my situation is completely different to most of you.

Big hugs to you all and stay strong xx

Meow have a fabulous weekend with your friend. This other man is a distraction but you’re right in what you say. It’s giving you insight. Well done Liza and Dolly!! Keep going. Liza I’m happy to WhatsApp for support. I’ll message you over the weekend x

Day 2 is here! Is usually take the car seat to him this morning after dropping dd at childminders as he picks her up this afternoon but we’ve sorted that situation out so I don’t need to do that now. Was weird just driving past his work without stopping as I always would but I feel kinda proud of myself for not stopping. Just gotta wait outside work now cos I don’t start till 9 which is a bit of a pain. Maybe I’ll ask to take some keys the night before so I can go into work early and not be sat in my car waiting for that’s when the temptation will start to text him.
I just miss him so bloody much! And he was an arsehole!!! I’ve just got to get used to life without him. It’s all about adapting to me new life and it’s so bloody difficult right now.

Ps meow have a fab weekend!

Ami, cool, look forward to hearing from you.

And day 2 is here Dolly! Keep strong

Morning Ladies! What day are we all on now? Day 2 for me

Keep strong and positive over the weekend. I know these are usually the hardest times. Keep busy and make plans.

I am expecting a text from the ex at some point this weekend as he said in his last message "It will be good to meet up and talk later on in the week." I am not going to text him asking when and also will not be planning my weekend around him!

Love this thread so much and very thankful for it.

for you all

LizaJane85- If we can do day 2 we can do day 20 Just know that they are missing us too. I haven't read much of the previous thread so dont know everyones situations but are you wanting to get back with him?

Dolly- as much as I still love him and miss him, no I don’t. We just didn’t work. When you break up you tend to focus on the good times but we argued constantly, he was never there for me properly and he hardly ever helped with dd. I’m just hoping with each passing day it gets a bit easier

LizaJane85- You go girl! It will defo get easier. As hard as this is I know that I will be stronger for it regardless if I am with him or not. Nervous to see him and speak to him. I know this break up will either make us 10 times stronger or will break us completely and we will end up hating each other. Heres to the weekend. I cant wait to have a glass of wine (or 10)

Hey dinnerdatediaster- The checking up on FB is the worst. I havent logged in for days as I am scared to see something I might not like. If you are completely done and don't want him back even the slightest bit then I would block him on Whatsapp too. You can also just turn your last seen off and therefore no one will be able to see yours and you cant see anyone elses in return. (That's what I done)

It will get easier. Remember you had a life before him and will have one after him!

Hugs and to you x

Thanks Dolly.

Dinnerdatedisaster- it all gets easier with time, apparently!
I broke up with my xh just over 4 weeks ago now. We have a dd so complete NC isn’t possible. To be fair I haven’t helped myself- I constantly checked his fb and basically after 4 weeks of driving myself insane I decided on Tuesday enough was enough. I’ve deactivated my fb. Luckily he doesn’t allow people to see when he was last online on WhatsApp so I haven’t been able to use that.
To be blunt it’s bloody hard. And having to pretend in front of my dd is even harder. But I find comfort in her and in my family and friends and know the way I’m feeling is only temporary. I have to see him very briefly once a week now but I’m sure that too will get easier in time.
I try and console myself with the fact that he must miss me too ( our break up was pretty much mutual even though he ended it) and hope that he finds things as hard as me. But he has always coped with things like this easier than I have. It’s thinking of him with someone else that drives me mad.
But as the old saying goes, time is a great healer. I intend on coming out of this a much stronger person and the best mummy I can be to my little girl. I will not let him break me.

He just text. Asked if we could go for food and a chat tomorrow

I do want to see him and chat but not sure if food is good- seems just so casual to me? Although I do want to fix things I don't want him to think its all back to normal..

Dolly- go but be strong. Let him do the running xx

Another Friday night with me sat here picturing him out with someone having a brilliant time, 😔

I'm pretty sure he is but I can't do anything about it and to be honest I don't hate him and want him to be happy, just prefer it if he was happy with me.

User- same here. It’s awful isn’t it! Just had the nicest cuddles with dd so feel a bit happier.

I hope things go well dolly, if you do go. Don’t let him make excuses for what he’s done, make him work to prove that he did wrong and that he will change. x

User - I feel the same. My ex is a social butterfly. I’m indoors with the kids, my social life came to a screeching halt some time ago. I know without a doubt, he is not sitting around dwelling over the demise of our relationship like I am.

I’m on day. 21 and my sadness and grief seems to have transformed into rage. I can’t believe such a stupid argument, became magnified to the point that he would abandon his own child for nearly a month! It’s half term and this is the point that we would plan lots of activities with the kids. Now they are all split up from each other - what a mess! I want to reach out, but in the knowledge of how things ended, and how he’s been behaving recently, I don’t know what to say. I begged him to come back initially, but that only seemed to drive him further away. I’ve read “advice”, that after a breakup, you need to wait until your ex is receptive to speaking to you, and actually hearing you out with the purpose of resolving things. Which basically means, wait until they are ready to speak to you, and not the other way around. But the longer he continues like this, the more I feel hopeless at resolving anything.