Hi there.
I'm a man in his 40s who often likes to browse Mumsnet. Not really called Roger. I have never felt the urge to post until today. But I have a strong opinion on this issue, and so have signed up to contribute.
My wife, who I love very much, is extremely frugal. Always has been. When we met in our 20s neither of us had much money. She was living on a food budget of £10 per week. We have slept in cars once or twice. She bought her wedding dress from a charity shop.
She is not mean. She is extremely generous with her time and her affection. She just seems to be hard wired not to spend money if she sees no need to. Over our years together, I have come to see that there is a world of difference between meanness of spirit, and frugal stewardship of resources.
When we met I always spent what I had, and that was that. But over time I have become more frugal, just as over time she has become a little less so. We often meet in the middle these days. Sometimes we stay in hotels now - nothing fancy mind- in fact the last one was a Youth Hostel. We occasionally eat out but mainly Wetherspoons or possibly Prezzo if she has a voucher. But more often we'll take a picnic.
We live a mostly happy and outwardly normal life in a normal house with a modest car and normal kids who like to go camping or to play at the beach. On a trip to the beach, if we want ice-creams, one of us will walk a mile to the nearest supermarket for a pack of 4 own-brand cones for £1 and bring them back, rather than spend £10 at the ice-cream van. She just seems to get more pleasure from this thoughtful style of consumption, and although at first it puzzled me, these days I am more than happy to roll with it.
The irony, we both work in jobs where we have come to earn quite a lot of money. As a result we now have a very high level of financial security- in fact we have assets of around £2 million- and are able to pass quite a lot to a charity we support. This is something my wife has always done, which I never did until meeting her.
Someone else said, if you are both on the same page, careful behaviour around money can really grow your finances quickly. Many people seem to worry about money, but perhaps you need never know what that must feel like.
So OP - if his heart is in the right place - and maybe you can soften him a little - I think it has the potential to go well for you.
Best of luck.