Boyfriend is ridiculously tight with money

[NewBrian]

Would being this ‘careful’ with money be enough for you to get rid of a boyfriend? We’re both mid twenties, I’m ok financially (not a drain on him), he’s very sorted financially. Recent examples that have annoyed me.

1. Expecting us to sleep in a car after a day out in London save paying for a hotel.
2. Will only buy reduced food, even if doesn’t like it much.
3. Constantly reminding me I owed him £10 after he’d stayed at mine all week.
4. If we go out together we must split everything equally down to the penny.

This is someone that has tens of thousands in the bank and a good job! Seems to be a family trait, his dad is a LL, most of his properties are in London but he walks round in the same battered pair of shoes.

The sleeping in the car suggestion is just too farfetched for me. Seriously? I just don't believe you would carry on seeing someone if that was a real scenario. Anyone that tight, wouldn't be spending money on a day out in London either.

It's against the law to sleep in your car in most places here, for good reason.

This level of cheapness is indicative of a psychological problem. I can't imagine raising children with him.

This man is not a keeper.

Littlewitch oh god yes me too!

Fuck that - run!

It would be a deal breaker for me.

Reminds me of an ex boyfriend who was very tight with money. He earned four times my salary at the time and would be incredibly mean with money. If we went out he'd split the entire cost in half down to the very last penny, he even got the calculator on his phone out once in a nice restaurant and started calculating how much I owed him right there and then.

It turned me right off, we couldn't go out for a simple meal/cinema trip etc without him wanting to discuss costs. I remember sitting him down for a chat but nothing ever changed, he was so set in his ways.

OP I would run a mile.

I'm careful with money but he's obsessively tightfisted. Get the fuck away as fast as you can OP.

It bothers you so that makes you incompatible.

My H has some similar traits (not this extreme) - also passed down from father.
It only gets worse with age.

Don’t go there. Really.
Unless you share the same philosophy - it will all end with arguments and negativity.
Imagine, if somehow you ended up staying with him and having kids together and your financial independence wasnt there anymore.
All your money would be joint.
And if you stay with the kids - even if not forever - he’ll be commenting and controlling all the spending.
And you’ll forever loose the ability to eat what you want rather than what’s on sale.
And that is just on example.

Run.

Sounds like a prick.
My mouth was agape at 1) sleeping in the car but it just got worse.
My sympathies.
There's making do when you're both skint and it's fun and romantic (well, sometimes), but if he's got money and wants you to sleep in a car you should be getting rid asap , otherwise the next 60-70 yrs are going to be hard work

Sleeping in the car would have done it for me. I'd have gone to the nearest Premier Inn and texted him from my nice comfy hotel bed to say we were finished. I advise you not to waste any more time on this one.

DID YOU KIP IN THE CAR?

I love the story about the 5p bread being a Christmas highlight . No we didn’t sleep in the car, I booked a hotel! This resulted in him looking deep in thought for the rest of the night and when I asked what was wrong he said he was ‘thinking about money’. I know it might sound unbelievable but it really did happen, and we hadn’t spent any money that day, we were just visiting friends. My ex left me in a lot of debt so I liked his ‘money savvy’ ways at first —when I saw him on a part time basis—.

Present him with a bill for the costs of staying with you for a week, including rent. He can't reasonably refuse to pay.

Did you split the hotel bill, or did you pay for it?

Please say you didn't foot the hotel bill!

Start asking for contributions towards living expenses when he stays during the week. He'll be off faster than usain bolt.

We split it which is fair enough, it’s his struggle to part with any money that’s getting tedious.

Jevus I would have left him in the bloody car!

Please tell me you are binning him before he turns your life into one long money obsessed black hole.

"Tedious" !!!

Christ almighty OP you are far far too accommodating IMHO.

I could regale many a story of financial abuse but to be honest I don't really want to go there.
What I do know is that it does not bode well for any relationship and if he is that tight now it will only get worse!
Unless you are on the same page where finances and spending are concerned one of you is going to be really unhappy having to compromise with a miser.

Jiggler You are SO right.

end the relationship sooner than later and move on. what a horrible way to live.

I had an ex who wanted to drive a car with a broken passenger window rather than pay for a taxi. There are loads of men like this out there.