Boyfriend is ridiculously tight with money

[NewBrian]

Would being this ‘careful’ with money be enough for you to get rid of a boyfriend? We’re both mid twenties, I’m ok financially (not a drain on him), he’s very sorted financially. Recent examples that have annoyed me.

1. Expecting us to sleep in a car after a day out in London save paying for a hotel.
2. Will only buy reduced food, even if doesn’t like it much.
3. Constantly reminding me I owed him £10 after he’d stayed at mine all week.
4. If we go out together we must split everything equally down to the penny.

This is someone that has tens of thousands in the bank and a good job! Seems to be a family trait, his dad is a LL, most of his properties are in London but he walks round in the same battered pair of shoes.

Fuck that for a laugh.

yuck yuck yuck.

extremely unattractive. he could be john fucking snow (GOT not channel 4) but i wouldn't shag him if he was that tight...

This is really interesting. This sounds like what my dh used to be like before we met. He was like it because he never had a penny given to him and he had to work bloody hard for everything he had. When we met he was very tight, had his own sleeping in car stories - something I'd never do. But over the years he has changed and now he spends in a similar way to me. We spoke about it - he said he did it now because he knew he could afford it.

I like having no debts and being married to someone who is solvent, and has a job he loves not because of what it pays but because it fulfils him. I also realise that my family are far, far more generous than his, so perhaps I haven't had to be as self sufficent as him. I admire him hugely for what he has achieved entirely on his own.

So controversially I say talk to him. Treat him occasionally. Tell him when he's being a tight arse. Tell him when money can be spent for good reason. If he doesn't listen, fine, go- but if he's otherwise decent and you must be with him for a reason, consider what might be leading his behaviour. Far better him than a flash man with £££££££s of hidden debt.

I'm well known to be frugal but even I'll spring for a hotel room!

Dump him it sounds miserable.

No, no and no.

Fucking hell, dump him op. I'm actually a bit surprised you felt you had to ask tbh. You know you're worth more than this chump, don't you?

Mean with money mean with love.
LTB 👉

Christ! Sleeping in the car??? He must be INCREDIBLE in the sack, funny, intelligent and stunningly good looking for you to have put up with this malarky OP!
Personally, I find meanness one of the biggest turn offs and a complete deal breaker. Move on, xx

That's ridiculously tight ... I knew an elderly man who was loaded but would not even buy a jacket and wore old, dirty clothes and buy the cheapest food possible or let others buy it for him - your bf seems like he'll go the same way ... leave now!

Run. He will make your life a misery. Meanness is the worst trait.

Can someone explain to me HOW you sleep in a car?? Surely the seats don't go completely flat and you can't stretch out?

Run for the hills he is a miser who will suck all the joy out of your life!

Run for the motherfucking hills and don't look back.

Seriously.

p.s I bet he's shit in bed. Mean people always are.

I'd say he's stingy and I honestly think that's one of the worst traits a person can have. It's so freaking gross.
If you have kids together will he be questioning every spend ? That'd be so boring. I also think it's the sign of an incredibly selfish person, they tend to be selfish in all aspects imo.

hills x post with RandomMess

Run. Run like the wind.

I’d have told him to sleep in the car and booked my own room, but I’ve always earned my own money and been financially independent. Hence why I never had to deal with this shit, I could pay for myself and did so. And he would have either slept in car or went halves. It wouldn’t have been a discussion.

The rest I’d pay my way and my dues, but I wouldn’t be interested in it. He’d be gone.

Have you told him how unacceptable his behaviour is?

If so dump him. Write him a note. On the back of a used envelope. He wouldn’t give you anything for free, so why would you?

How did he become your boyfriend? I need to know what your first date was like...

Can't stand greedy fuckers, tell him to shove his money up his tight arse.

It's not going to be a fun relationship is it?

Throw him back.

on the back of a used envelope

I'd much prefer him to someone who spent more than they earned.

I know a couple who do this but it only works because both of them are on the same page. They see it in part as recycling and being kind on planet. So they would save money on fuel and drive, they would not waste food, would eat "yellow label" food no matter what it is, or else it may go to waste. They are absolutely loaded, because they don't over spend (but they wouldn't have spent the day out in London as that would have cost). It is nearly impossible to get them to go out for a meal. They have started growing food now (along side their jobs) obvs only cuts costs seasonally. They cut their own hair . . . etc you get the idea!

Run a mile. Honestly.

Tight blokes only get worse - I've known a couple - and = misery and embarrassment for wives/partners.
(That is, unless wives/partners are equally tight...)