The Dating Thread Number 123: We're so over over-investing

[Beentherelefthimgotthetshirt]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread.

Phonenix I don't tend to go for the really fit guys, I find a lot of them are vein. I don't go for obese men eaither as I don't find them sexually attractive and I'm quite small and don't like someone taking up more than half my bed or squashing me , I kind of go for middle ground. Mr Mountain has a bit of a beer belly but he's reasonably fit, just not the type of fit I see in the gym . I don't actually find the big muscly guys in the gym attractive at all. I think TV has made us see relationships and love as something that just isn't real, no ones perfect, no relationship is perfect and none of us have the 'perfect body'.

SMEATON Thanks for your post, it was really lovely what you said, I wish more guys could be like you

COUCH loved your cheeky fucker comment, its exactly the dirty of thing that would come out of my mouth.

And you're right about the 50% ratio not being bad, its just typical that the other 2 that I really did enjoy DTD with seems to not work out for me lol

Hi everyone, hoping I can join the thread and get some support
I've been OLD for what feels like ages, including having a 2 yr relationship with someone I met on POF. That ended quite painfully but it's been over a year now and I feel ready to meet someone and have a relationship (bit guilty of using dating to help myself move on, hence nothing came to anything before now).
Anyway, had a first date last Sunday after chatting for a week or so. Great time and we ended up back at mine....this is not a usual thing for me at all but it felt right. He's asked to see me again, set a date for next weekend when we're both free (both have children). Thing is I feel like I'm massively overly invested now....I rarely like someone this much and I can feel myself going into overthinking mode. I've checked tinder to see if he's been on the app today (he has) and now I'm wondering if he's got other dates lined up. Obviously it's been one date with us so he'd be entitled to do so, but don't like the thought of it! Tell me to stop being so ridiculous please

Good luck tonight Couch!

Mr BBC has just invited me to his place tomorrow night Is the third date too soon for talking about being exclusive? I’m pretty sure he’s not seeing anyone else & I’m not (currently anyway) but I learned a long time ago not to assume anything!

Pixie - Welcome!

How can you tell if someone’s been on tinder recently???

Has anyone seen Popcorn recently?
Just wondering if she is okay...

Hi guys. I'm joining you. Cancelled a date tonight after he didn't reply to my text confirming the time. If they start messing me about, they're gone. I've been on POF since Saturday. I have had a marriage proposal; being propositioned by a pair of 26 year old canadians; asked if I'd join a couple; been asked to relocate and had a guy tell me that he had 'never been with mom before.' I also had the misfortune of opening a message to be confronted by starkers man with clearly erect penis. I was tucking into a baked potato with tuna and sweetcorn at the garden centre cafe at the time. I may have screamed.

Thank you Phoenix
As far as I know how it works with tinder is that if you open the app then it knows your location and updates it....so the guy I'm talking about has a usual distance away from me but today it changed (he works in lots of different locations) hence he'd opened the app wherever he was today. Just another piece of technology to drive us up the dating wall!!! I'd be better if I just didn't know

Far - good to see you again! Your post exactly sums up why I’ll never use PoF again. Does your profile say no ons & fbs?

Hi Faron, I read your post about your date tonight. Seems like you were totally right to cancel, sometimes you just get a feeling don't you and it's best to nip it in the bud straight away.
POF 🙈 I'm sure it's got worse since I tried it a few years ago!!

Pixie - that’s not totally true unfortunately. Unless you turn off certain location settings the app will track you regardless.

It says I'm looking for a relationship, but it doesn't seem to make a difference on there. It's crazzzy! Good to be here again too, though as I'm a perennially unsuccessful dater, I do hope to graduate one day...
Chatting to a guy about poetry and he seems to be playing a good game. He's not giving much away about himself and is quoting poetry now. He knows I'm an English teacher and this will make me fall, swooning into his manly arms.

Ah I see, thank you Phoenix....so he hasn't necessarily been on the app then? It's all confusing, like I said I'd rather not know anyway. Same with WhatsApp!!

Faron I'm having a break from POF, I have been on and off for over 2 years and have expereances the same as you despite stating what I'm looking for in my profile, I think a lot of men don't even read our profiles before messaging. I had a marriage proposal a few weeks ago and have also come across a couple who wanted a 3rd person in their relationship. Cock photos don't surprise me, I have seen so many .

Pixie - whatsapp is the work of the devil!!! Why do you feel so over invested, Is it the sleeping with him or cause it's the first person you've clicked with since your break-up? I wouldn't feel guilty about using old to help you move on, having someone new in your life can be the final nail for the previous relationship.

On POF I think guys spam everyone. It clearly says in my profile no one 20s or anyone not in my home town (Birmingham). Why then I get 27 year olds from Cardiff messaging me I have no idea!

Quick update everyone.

After the post about speed dating (sorry, forgot who posted it) I decided to give it a whirl and am currently in my car waiting to go in

serialmistakemaker Good luck! What kind of venue is it?

Userxx, I think it's a bit of both.
I've had ONS in the past but only with someone I wouldn't see again. I felt really comfortable with him and he's been spot on with the messaging afterwards, spoke on the phone, set another date and I really fancy him. I feel like I'm waiting for it to go wrong, it's been so long since anything went right!

Loo update PHWWWOOOAAARRRR!

Ooh couch! Well my guy is nice. Nice. Not sure.

Pixie - embrace the fancying him, I find it quite rare these days! Try not to overthink it too much and just go for it. What's the worst that can happen.

I'm feeling so fed up at the moment, have deleted tinder and think I just need to work on getting my sparkle back.

I can’t believe how quickly the thread has moved on in a couple of days. Some great advice back there Phoenix. I bet you’ll soon not notice that Mr BBC isn’t sleek and you’ll see his tum and love it. Besides you like him AND fancy him! Who cares about a chilled out muscle. He sounds lovely!

Ooh - Couch - a phwoar - is that Mr Voice?

FAR!!!!! Welcome back.

Pixie welcome!

Serial did an alien replace you ? You sound so much more together - do you feel it? I hope you’ve sent Mr RL packing!

Mr TaiChi’s confirmed everything for our date. He really seems to be a man of his word. I can’t wait to see him and I bought three sparkly tops to choose between because I’ve gone all girly and am getting butterflies. I’ll be in jeans, red heels and probably purple top. I cannot wait.