Things you don't miss about an Ex

[Wheelycote]

Recently become single and have been bereft. I read something on another thread and it reminded me of a behaviour ex had. Sulking.
It's strange how, things like that become the norm.

The rose tinted glasses are starting to fall. It won't happen overnight, we were together for 8 years.

Pls share something about an ex, that you don't miss.

His addictions
Trying to make me insecure because HE was insecure
Bossing me around and rearranging my house
Shouting at me

I hear you Offred. Mine got arrested recently. I have no doubt it will have to go to CPS based on what he did to me. We are in the same boat. Police are gathering evidence. I'm waiting for the charges to come through. Hopefully this will be over quickly but having never been in this situation before I don't now how long it will take.

Mine committed physical assault as well as an account of rape so will have to see what evidence the police gather. The gash on my right arm and the broken iPad he used to hit me with should be evidence enough I would have thought.

I don't know whether mine will. The police haven't managed to process my phone yet though - he was arrested April fools day ( fitting for a fool like him!).

Main evidence is going to be emails, texts and my video statement. I do know that he has already contradicted himself in interview though by denying things the police already have evidence of.

Skid marks in pants
Sweating buckets and leaving a print of himself on the sheets when he slept
I am not joking, I have NEVER been so vigorously shaken as I was when he scratched his arsehole for 10 minutes every fucking night
Shitty attitude
Dependency on his mum
Inability to do anything for himself
Putting the knife and fork the wrong way round at my place setting because HE eats with them in the wrong hand
How he didn't brush his teeth before bed but would want to kiss me
Little willy
Sex was only for him, happened when he wanted it, would end when he was finished..I was ALWAYS left unsatisfied
Think that's as many as I can name whilst trying to keep it lighthearted

Ex 1

I don't miss the daily phone calls where he would check up on me.
I don't miss the way he used to demand that I stop eating/studying/packing and attend to him.
His Jekyll and Hyde personality.
His awful dress sense, he wore clothes that hadn't been in fashion since 1996. Oh and the polo shirts and trackies.
His constant dramas with his ex.
Him deciding what I should do on my days off from college.
His need to be right all the time.
His constant illnesses but mine were trivial.
His wanking in my bed.
He didn't want to go anyway except to parks.
Eating Greggs all the time despite being "a trained chef".
The look of darkness in his eyes and his icy gaze.

• Really long dull descriptions of how everyone at his work was rubbish and how great he was.
• Would rinse his shitty arse in the shower and not clean it after.
• getting dry humped whenever I bent down.
• being his supervisor at home "do you want me to change the nappy? ", "do you want me to get up?" Etc all day long.
• being asked what's for dinner when not even had breakfast.
• huffy guilt trips if I went out with friends.
• mess
• snoring

Urgh. The blinkers are well and truly off now!

Mine didn't dent what he did but claimed self defence. Yes because he really needed defending against me when I'm about 8 stone wet through and the worst I did was stupidly stand in front of him ranting at him about how he never listens he raised his fist to me then grabbed his iPad off the side and hit me with it. I put my arm up to protect myself and he cut it.

I gave my statement today. I'm so drained yet I can't sleep. God know what happens from here.

Deny*

Lots of waiting TBH hope

Oh nearly forgot! Wanking onto my stomach then flinging me a dirty pair of pants to clean up with. Stay classy!

Offred I honestly thought it would be a straightforward case

key that reminds me that one of my exs always pulled some tissues out of the box he kept next to the bed and passed them to me after sex. His bed was in a corner so I had to climb over him to get out not easy when you're trying to hold your legs together so you don't drip everywhere just realised that was actually quite thoughtful of him!

But back to slating other ex. Rather than getting us to clean up after sex, used to get the corner of the covers and wipe his bits off on it. Crispy covers, lovely

The police will likely want all the evidence before sending to the cps for a charging decision so it really depends what evidence the cps will want. If they have to process your/his phone it will be months before anything happens as it sits for ages with the forensics people, then gets processed then the police have to go through all the data and pull out what is relevant.

Getting up to clean up I mean

Aw now THAT'S chivalry name ;-)

Offred they haven't asked to process my phone

They may do yet. They didn't take mine till a couple of months after he was arrested because they'd gone through a whole rigmarole trying to get his and he just fobbed them off 'I've not go it anymore' 'I don't know what happened to it'

But then I did only just make a full statement today.

I have no idea what I'm letting myself in for on the plus side he hasn't denied what he did and isn't allowed to come near me or my house

Mean/tight with money
Incapable of doing any housework unless it was written in a note and stuck on the kitchen wall.
Defecting blame to any or everyone else.
Making the bed lurch like the titanic whenever he rolled over.
Whistling sinuses (by the end I wanted to cure that with a brick)
Constantly beeping the horn or flashing the lights at other drivers if he thought they had made a major mistake.
Coughing and wretching really loudly in the morning (so mortifying if we ever stayed in a hotel or with friends).
Arguing the toss over stupid insignificant stuff.
Standing over me in shops to hurry me up cos he was bored.
Expecting a medal if he mowed our tiny garden. Or emptied the bins.
'Forgetting' regularly to flush the toilet.
Making no effort to disguise how much he hated visiting family.
His hairy fucking hammer toes on my gorgeous sofa.
3 thrusts and its over, sex.

Thanks so much for starting this thread op! Makes me feel so thankful I don't have a utter wankbadger man anymore. Xx

Reporting mine was the best thing I ever did re our relationship. The waiting has given me time to heal a bit.

The way everything had to be my fault. Even him having to spend time blaming me was my fault.

Now we're divorced he can hate me from afar and I feel free!

Ex 2

His temper tantrumss when things didn't go his way or if I won something and he didn't.
Talking over me.
Singing over me when I was singing to a friend.
Belittling my taste in films and music. His tastes were naturally more superior
Invading my personal space.
He had a photo album of women in their underwear on Facebook.
Kept saying moi instead of me.
He used to steal newspapers instead of buying them.
No empathy for anybody.
His walk, he used to strut about.
Thinking he was God's gift to women.
No male friends, which also applies to Ex 1.
His moody face which wasn't menacing.
He liked toilet humour. I remember him on a school trip laughing because a cow pooed.
He used to copy unfunny jokes from TV sitcoms and pass them off as his own.
His breath stank of fish.
He was a fussy eater and said he didn't want a girlfriend who liked salad.
His racism.
The way he would poke and pat me to get my attention.

High five ✋ @Offred

Hopefully we can both regain some control of our lives