Things you don't miss about an Ex

[Wheelycote]

Recently become single and have been bereft. I read something on another thread and it reminded me of a behaviour ex had. Sulking.
It's strange how, things like that become the norm.

The rose tinted glasses are starting to fall. It won't happen overnight, we were together for 8 years.

Pls share something about an ex, that you don't miss.

His enabling bastard of a father "you caused him to hit you"

Me working 2 jobs while he stayed at home playing X box.

Him buying more animals than we could afford to feed and care for

Me going without to feed and care for said animals, never him!!

If I didn't agree, I clearly wasn't listening properly.
Flicking the dewdrop off the end of his nose across the room instead of wiping with a tissue.
Ripping his nails off and dropping them on the floor.
Saying "fancy a ?" Then saying "get me one while you're up" if you said yes.
Thinking that was funny still ^ after 20 years of it.

For me it's different things with different exs
Man a - going out without me all the time.
Not listening to me
Not knowing what words meant
Not being romantic enough
Not putting me first

Man b - not putting me first
Manipulation
Emotional blackmail
Financial control
Being unemployed
Being asleep after id awoken for night shift
Not doing house work
Using my car
Not going out together. Ever.

Man C - anal sex without asking
Still being hung up on his ex
Not being honest about his ex
Feeling like a booty call.

Man d - selfishness

I don't miss:

The Gas-lighting and emotional manipulation

His sulking

Him throwing things at me then denying it

The constant stream of criticism

The sneers and eye rolls

His controlling behaviour with my money and simultaneous mismanagement of it

The constant accusation of affairs

The constant insults

And finally, his utter selfishness in bed. Not one orgasm for me in 7 years!

It's still early days for me but I reckon I am well rid.

The breathing

Ex 1

Allways going comando
Not cleaning his teeth, ever!
Boating
Being a compulsive liar
Stealing money

Ex 2

Small willy and constantly getting it out
Having to be the joker at any social gathering, usual at someone else's expense
Being miserable at home
Feeling the need to shag anyone and everyone
Everything he wore
The way he ate
The way he breathed

His insistence that my cooking was making him fat.

When he left, I found receipts hidden under the bed from Domino's pizza. He'd be ordering it to work, then coming home and eating what I'd cooked too!

'His insistence that he was a working-class hero despite being MiddleClass McMiddleFace'

Bloody hell, this.

His hairy arse crack that led to a huge patch of hair on his lower back.

His smug attitude.

Heartbroken reading this as most of it resonates. But about my husband, not an ex.

• Breathing
• Eating noises
• No volume control and vicious if you ever dare mention (even in context of praising him at same time)
• Dribbling in bed AND on the settee - whilst WIDE AWAKE
• Ten pumps if i was lucky
• Zero oral sex
• Eggshells if I disagreed with him
• His need for everything to be a production - never just curry for tea, had to have naan and poppadums
• Never took me anywhere
• Kept me from his mates
• Bought condoms once in 13 years
• Promised to withdraw during sex, then didn't. Ended up pregnant
• His punishments because i trapped him
• His gold medal and jumping to conclusions and inability to see other pov
• His lack of active support for my career building. He didnt like my career progressing, At all. To the extent i had to take a career break because he refused to help with pick-ups etc
• His discomfort at me trying to manage my anxiety and stress(for best part of ten years). Made it all about him.
• His ignoring my worries about our relationship which i articulated for quite some time. he just saw them as threats.
• Refused to make tangible plans to improve our relationship. Did not care that I was more precise in nature and appreciated a little more detail.
• Refuted my final attempt to have quality time away by pretending that i needed the break ... only to tell me when i came back that he hadn't wanted to go away because we'd probably argue
• His bloody family

I am so very happy to be single!

Him crying with stress over getting me a present (one Christmas present out of all the birthdays, christmasses, valentines and anniversaries in 4 years) and me having to reassure him for hours that I loved the slippers (3 sizes too small), white wine (that I never drink and that tasted like vinegar) and chocolates (I don't like chocolate) that cost the grand total of £7 from home bargains (price stickers still on)... I remember thinking '4 years and you actually don't know me or listen to me at all, I even told you I would appreciate a card with a nice meaningful message not gifts for the sake of gifts'...

Sureitsgrand I always remember what a friend said 'better single than badly accompanied' or something like that. Very true. I always thought I would not survive being single. Actually, I like life so much better without him in it. He just used to drag me down. Now when he picks up/drops off dc it is a real pleasure to shut the door on him and lock it. And put on crappy tv and have the sofa to myself. In bed at night and not be groped. Eat what I like, come home when we like, be happy, not having to be serious the instant you hear the car and tell the dc to stop being silly as daddy is home and that overwhelming feeling of utter gloom and depression he brought to the house.

His drinking
The violence after he'd been drinking
Wetting himself when he'd been drinking
Wetting the bed when he'd been drinking
Him driving when drunk
Invading my personal space when he was drunk...he'd try and get closer and closer while I'd try and move away.
The way he wanted me to change - one never forgotten sentence ''I'm going to break you''
''You put your son before me'' -too damn right I did!
The lies
The sex - all about him and what he wanted.
Only giving me a hug if he wanted sex
The snoring

Thank heavens my decree absolute came through on Friday!

I remember some months after I finally got rid of my ex, I was in the supermarket and I happened to witness a couple who were shopping there too. Everything she put in the trolley, he picked up and sneered at; every comment she made, he insulted her. I felt a massive wave of relief that I was alone and didn't have to put up with that shit any more. Poor woman. I do hope she managed to get rid of him, too.

His temper
The controlling
Me being scared
Chain smoking

Walking on egg shells
Bring called names
Having no money
His smoking
Constant worry
Him lying about how much money he har and his family going with out
My god so glad I left with the most amazing kind dp ever now .

Things I don't miss:
Always being at the bottom of his priorities
Snoring
Noisy eating and making really loud mmmm noises
Skid marks in boxers (why can't men just wipe their arse properly?!)
Devoid of any emotion and wouldn't ever want to talk
Shit sex (zero foreplay, small willy syndrome - shove it in as hard and fast as possible)
Looking at specific porn that featured degrading women

Homophobic and racist
Very narrow minded
Boring - never wanted to go out or do anything and I had to organise everything or he would have just sat in his flat all weekend
Watching ANY sports on TV - I caught him watching bowls once...
The way he dressed

I could go on... this is rather therapeutic!

Massive walking arsehole. I dont miss anything not ONE thing!

This should be called the therapeutic thread. All our exes have loads in common. My ex shagged about in secret so wouldn't surprise me if some of you dated him

Where to start?!
His drinking

The disgusting smell that radiates from him every morning due to his drinking

The embarrassment of going to shops for food for the kids and despite his hefty income finding he'd drunk it all (or also used on drugs, the jury so out there)

That his feelings were terribly important but anyone else being upset made them "pathetic", "a baby"

His sneering at me

His being incredibly fucking lazy around the house and garden

Him criticisisng every little thing I did

Him saying in front of the kids that I was "trying to poison" him if something was not cooked to his satisfaction

Him calling me stupid, a bitch, a stupid poisonous bitch constantly

Him saying things that make me nervous of men to this day (10 years on) "you're pretty so men will notice you, but once they see your personality they'll run a mile".

His penis always smelled like stale chicken.

He wasn't that great in bed (but thinks he's god's gift)

That after the separation he went around telling everyone I was mentally ill. That really bothered me. Who knows who heard that as thinks it's true? He told people I had "paranoid schizophrenia". I don't.

Ooh, one more thing. In the latter period he'd repeat things I'd just said to him in a sing-songy mocking voice. That just made me agog as it was like dealing with an unpleasant 5 year old. Possibly more than anything else that made me realise there was no hope for him, he could never be healthy in a relationship.

Yy to the crap sex. I spent a year drinking increasing amounts just to tolerate sex with him.

He also thought just the privilege of being his girlfriend should be enough to sustain me.

Mine left after 16 years and along with everyone else I don't miss the usual stuff.
What I really don't miss is his sniffing. He was a sniffer of vacuum proportions. He could suck up the fucking cat he sniffed so hard. Even without a cold. With a cold he sniffed and moaned at the same time.

I don't miss anything about that emotionally abusive, controlling, jealous, manipulative lier who never took any responsibility for his own actions.

I was going to write a list of all the things I don't miss the most but I think that sentence pretty much sums him up. I wouldn't wish him on my worst enemy.