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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Things you don't miss about an Ex

270 replies

Wheelycote · 17/09/2017 09:14

Recently become single and have been bereft. I read something on another thread and it reminded me of a behaviour ex had. Sulking.
It's strange how, things like that become the norm.

The rose tinted glasses are starting to fall. It won't happen overnight, we were together for 8 years.

Pls share something about an ex, that you don't miss.

OP posts:
Queenofthedrivensnow · 17/09/2017 14:41

I directed my ex to buy some non dad jeans. He did and then shrank them so they were flapping around his ankles. He still wore them. He pulled the laces super tight on his trainers made him look like a fecking transpotting geek with issues.

HoneyWheeler · 17/09/2017 14:50

The wave of panic I'd feel when he'd come home and say he'd lost another job.

The embarrassment in social situations when he was rude or oblivious.

The resentment I felt that he expected me to support his dreams but never gave two hoots about the sacrifices I was making.

When he'd masturbate in the living room and got annoyed when I asked him to do it in the bedroom!

So relieved those years are long gone!

EllenJanethickerknickers · 17/09/2017 14:51

Snoring
Sweating, really soaking after any exercise
Noisy eating
Constant criticism of any of my male friends, usually simply the partners of my female friends meaning he never wanted to go out with my friends.
Not being bothered about his parents.
The way he looked through me if what I was talking to him about was boring him. He just unfocused his eyes.
Never helping with making any family decisions, from where we went on holiday to what colour to decorate and what schools were best for our DC. Then complaining that I was controlling. Sigh.
Terrible, terrible sex. Couldn't last more than 30 seconds but wouldn't do anything about trying to improve it as he 'didn't like wanking!'
Finally the lying and cheating and making me feel his affair was my fault.
Apart from that he was fine!

Runlovingmummy81 · 17/09/2017 14:51

Everything.

Wheelycote · 17/09/2017 14:52

Ellen oh he sounds like a right catch!

OP posts:
Wheelycote · 17/09/2017 14:56

Honey in the front room bleughhhh.

I've got to be honest, reading all these....I'm getting put off the idea of dating or getting into a relationship ever again lol

Or at least i may need to carry out a checklist

  1. Do you take pictures of your nuts and put them on Facebook
  2. Do u wank in the front room, willy nilly
  3. Do u snore
  4. Are you an a$$ in general

Etc etc either that or I'll just get my friends to vet themGrin

OP posts:
ohamIreally · 17/09/2017 14:57

Yy to walking ahead of me.
Never being able to enjoy the moment
Refusing to socialise with my friends but expecting me to socialise with his.
Making me move out of the way when I was cleaning my teeth so he could clean his.
Farting
Snoring
Driving way too fast
Needling me until I exploded then calling me crazy
Never getting up with DD in the morning.
Saying that his job was more important than mine even though I earned more.
Poor money management
Cooking a meal only he liked.
Plonking himself on the sofa when he got home from work and leaving everything to me.
Waiting until I was falling asleep and finding an excuse to wake me up.
Taking credit for stuff I'd done.
Waiting until I'd told a long story or joke the busting in with the punchline

Spidermom76 · 17/09/2017 15:07

Peeing with the door open

Always having stray bogies
hanging out of his nose

Dribbling his soup, I actually realised I couldn't stomach him anymore when I saw the soup dried into his chin 😷

Making fun of me in front of friends and family

PurpleWithRed · 17/09/2017 15:15

Hoping we would have a terrible car crash and one of us would die so I wouldn't be married to him any more.

TishHope · 17/09/2017 15:22

OMG I used to wish for that too, purple Blush

disneydatknee · 17/09/2017 15:22

Being late for everything. He would literally clock watch and not leave until we were already late...on purpose. Disappearing off after work and turning off his phone. Often found him hiding at his grandparents until DS was in bed. Criticising every little thing I did. He once told me off for not washing my hands immediately after going to the supermarket. Apparently too many germs at the supermarket. The stupid mind games. The frustrating arguments. He was the most annoying person to argue with. Never took anything seriously. I would get so frustrated and upset it made me hyperventilate. God I'm so pleased to be away from that knob goblin. Now very happily married to someone who treats me with love and respect.

TishHope · 17/09/2017 15:25
  • really loud, stretched out yawning
  • jealous of my successes (small though they were)
  • trying to scare me by saying he wanted a divorce (until one day I said 'yes, that works for me)
  • accusing me of looking at blokes bums when we were out (???)
  • not telling me how much he earned
  • secret gambling
  • being a twat
  • stinking of cigarettes
  • stinking feet
  • refusing to wash regularly
lollipop7 · 17/09/2017 15:26

His Snoring
His drinking
The way he ate
His cruel misogynistic sense of humour
Never cleaning the toilet after a "trip"
All the washing he created

His breathing. In particular.

In short him

MaMisled · 17/09/2017 15:29

Washing and ironing 21 blood stained shirts a week. Poor guy had awful excema and had to change 3 x a day.

He insisted on using cotton hankies (he had rhinitus) and approx. 14 a week needed soaking, washing and ironing.

His excema x runny nose cleared up immediately after he left!

ch24 · 17/09/2017 15:33

Sleeping with my best friend I don't miss my ex haha

Gah81 · 17/09/2017 15:34

The tantrums over any tiny little thing
The flirting with other women (sending flirty messages behind my back too, then lying about it)
His relatively poor personal hygiene

Lasted 11 months before I broke up with him. Still not sure why it lasted that long - though I did adore his parents and the sex was good. Thankfully now with a wonderful man who treats me beautifully and whom I adore.

pasterfield9 · 17/09/2017 15:48

In no particular order:

Shouting at television when football was on
Constant talk of football
His mother
Spliff paraphernalia over every surface
Farting in bed
Driving, as if sole objective was to kill us both
Skid marks all over toilet
Stubble on everything (he used to wander round the house, shaving)
Disgusting cooking, which he'd take no advice on
Puns, as a form of humour
Pathological meanness with money
Being able to see up his nose at all times (he had very large nostrils)
Sulking
Calling my best friend 'a slag' because she was single and had blonde hair
Wearing weird, just below the knee shorts, in all weather
Complete inability to say sorry or accept blame for anything, ever
Chiding me for being 'difficult' any time I refused to do as I was told

Very happy to say I am now with a man who is the total opposite of this person, in every respect. Love the bones of him

Offred · 17/09/2017 15:57

His impatience to the extent he got kidney stones as a result of him only ever eating pot noodles, biscuits and chicken nuggets...

I once tried to teach him how to make risotto but stirring it for 20 minutes was so difficult for him he exploded...

His obsession with luxuriating in the bath for hours often making him late for work.

Being annoyed that his boss was annoyed with him constantly being late.

His idea that if people didn't catch him doing something bad then he hadn't done it and his outrage at being caught.

HopeontheHorizon · 17/09/2017 15:58

Being beaten up.
Emotional abuse.
Being called a slut.
Being cheated on.
Everything was always about him and how it affected him.

Him getting with me because I was "young, beautiful and I loved him" cringe!!!

Dumping me when pregnant for religious reasons over me not wanting to get my son christened (I should have never gone back).

Him "trying to make it up to me" (his shit behaviour) by erm, basically ignoring me, head in phone or iPad and going out with his ex missus.

Starting an argument over every discussion then blaming me for it - "why do you always have a go at me?". Urggghhh!!

Criticising me for making "shit meals".
Ignoring the kids by being being buried in the aforementioned iPad and phone.

Leaving the preschool kids outside the bookies unattended whilst he picked up his winnings.

After me buying him a few different items for Christmas and hearing the words "is that it?" when he opened them even though he bought me a 'joke' present and nothing more - that was our first xmas together.

Lacking empathy towards me and the kids.

Walking ahead of me whenever we walked anywhere. He'd even push the pram with our baby son in and walk off and leave me and the oldest DC all the time.

Not listening to me.

Never ever taking the time to get to know me because he was too preoccupied studying stocks and shares all the time that that took precedence over the relationship even in the 'honeymoon phase'.

Telling me he wouldn't marry me if I wouldn't get wed in a church. Or he would have to wait til his mum and dad were dead so they wouldn't have to witness it.

Walking off mid-conversation.

Not communicating anything with me in general. Then when I asked him outright for answers he'd flip at me for not knowing.

Farting with his constant gut rot and always using the same excuse "I've got bad guts" but this was every day!

Blaming everything on anyone but himself. Even when things went wrong at his work he'd blame the customer of his manager.

Telling me he worked harder than me (and seemingly anyone else he knows) so that should give him privileges to sleep whenever he felt like it during the day despite the fact I work a ft job and ran the household/admin stuff too.

Getting drunk at every social gathering leaving me solely in charge of looking after the kids - never offering the same back to me in return.

Touching me in my sleep all the time shudder.

Texting when driving.

Everything you've done, he's done it more times and better too.

Having no awareness of general events and knowledge that I concluded he must have lived in a cave for the majority of his life.

Being patronising and condescending despite the fact he has the IQ of a ham sandwich.

Generally being a self-centred arsehole who thought he was gods gift to mankind.

Wow this was therapeutic. There was sooooo sooooo much more than this but this is stuff the springs to mind.

Offred · 17/09/2017 15:59

How he paced around when on the phone as if he was going to wear a hole in the floor.

The disrespectful way he treated all women but particularly his mother (and me TBH)

HopeontheHorizon · 17/09/2017 16:01

Oh not to mention constantly being in debt. I have known him out of debt once ever.

Lying about money.

Leaving his fucking dirty underwear on the bedroom floor and then wearing it again. He even sniffed his dirty clothes to see if he could get anymore wear out of them despite the fact he had plenty of clothes 🤢

HopeontheHorizon · 17/09/2017 16:03

Buying me chocolate even though I'm not a chocolate fan then eating them all. "I bought you a present Hope. Are you not sharing?"
Oh he ate them ALL.

Offred · 17/09/2017 16:06

Oh I've forgotten the best one;

Weird obsessive hatred of cheese (which I love).

He was deeply (unreasonably) paranoid and suspicious of me and would often accuse me of trying to feed him cheese even though I was the only person who actually pandered to his weird and childish behaviour about it.

Offred · 17/09/2017 16:07

Oh and the time he looked after my pets while I was away at a conference and wanked all over my clean bed linen.

May50 · 17/09/2017 16:16

I've been single a year now and I really don't see myself being with another man ever again!

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